Baby on the Doorstep

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I had a weird dream last night - someone dropped a tiny baby boy on our doorstep, so young his umbilical cord was still attached.

I decided to keep him. I gave him the name we have planned for our first boy, and he became our son. I didn't report it to the police or a hospital. I guess I felt that I could guarantee he would be well cared for and loved while he was with me, but I couldn't guarantee it if he became a ward of the state. Plus, whoever had dropped him off could just come back if they changed their mind.

I don't know if that's wrong or not. Should I have reported him? Would it really be so bad not to? What would you have done?

Deep thinking for a random dream, I know

[Maruschke]

Well, I've had a similar dream .

Yes you'd definitely need to report it. The parent may have dumped the child but that doesn't mean there isn't loving family out there who would care for the baby.

I would LOVE if we suddenly came into the care of another child.

[Phteven]

I would give it to someone else because I don't want another baby.

Strange but true....... one of my great, great, great (not sure how many greats) was a foundling. She was found on a beach in the West-Indies wearing a dress of Spanish lace as a very small girl (about toddler age).

[meow]

You could claim it was a freebirth after keeping the pregnancy a secret. The parent obviously wanted you to have the baby or else they could have left him at a hospital. But I think the lies would unravel and the anxiety of keeping such a secret would be gut wrenching.

[SunnyRain]

Screw it, I'd keep the baby even though I don't want another one, same reasons as you.

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Jude 07/10/2008 | Lilac 16/06/2011

[HotI]

My uncle (who is a priest) had a baby left on his doorstep 30 years ago. About 5 years ago, the young lady and her parents dropped by to say hi. He was amazingly stoked to see that she was ok and had had a great life. Sadly, she never found any info on her birth family.

What would you tell the child as they grow? It would be tricky, cos you have to keep the secret from the world but is it fair to keep the info from the child also?

[Lisa]

You'd have to report it. Eventually you will need Medicare, education etc. Claiming it was a freebirthed baby after a hidden pregnancy wouldn't work as my DH had to still write out a stat dec for BD&M saying he witnessed me freebirth a live, baby girl in our home even though I had been receiving pre natal care.


Sent from my iPhone, so I apologise if it makes no sense.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I don't think we'd hafta keep it a secret from the world as such - Professor and I have looked into foster care several times, and most of our friends and family know. Basically it'd just be adoption with no paperwork. I suppose even doctors would be okay with us telling them it was a private adoption, wouldn't they? And then that's what we'd tell the baby, that they were adopted.

[Sammiejane]

But you would still need a birth certificate
That is something that you would have to have...

I would hand the baby over, not straight away though, I think I would leave it a few days to see if any information came... but i would make it very clear I would accept the child, to avoid it becoming part of the 'system'


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[LionsandBears]

Does private adoption even exist in Australia? I thought it all had to go through the system.

I couldn't keep it without reporting it. A child deserves to know it's genetic history if possible.

Interesting dream though

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Ahh, I didn't think of the birth certificate. I think that'd be the best way to go SJ, and just desperately hope they would let us keep the baby until the parent came forward.

I'm not sure TBH Tash, you're probably right.

[Mum2Romone]

I'd keep it

Hopefully it would be the same 'race' as us because I'd have a hard time with people thinking I slept with the mailman or something lol

[Phteven]

I can honestly say that I have never seen a child of a different race to its parents and thought that the mum must have slept with the mailman.

[Joeve]

Such a hard one. I would also report it as heart wrenching as it may be. I do get where you are coming from re: wanting you to have the baby and you so wanting to keep it.

Now on a side note, i dream all the time I have a baby and lose it somewhere, so please if I have accidently left it on your door step in your dream please let me have him back

[Mother Goose]

A friend of mine's Mum is currently going through the process of adopting her niece's son. The niece wants her Aunt to have the baby. Aunt wants the baby (desperately wanted another baby but can't and had my friend very very young). She still has to go through all the same processes as everyone else.


But if it happened to me, I'd tell the authorities but probably try to keep the baby with me... Although I understand it would almost certainly be taken and placed in an approved newborn foster home for the immediate time to try an work out who the parents are and what's happening.

Mg

[lil_chookie]

I'd keep it

Hopefully it would be the same 'race' as us because I'd have a hard time with people thinking I slept with the mailman or something lol

My daughter is from a different race to DH & I. I have never considered people may think I slept will the mailman, couldn't care less if they did anyway.

[peanutter]

I would get onto Divvy for a looooooooooooooong appointment first, and then go to the authorities (with her...).

DH and I have been foster carers for many years, and have current Working With Children certification, up to date police checks, and all the bells and whistles so we'd have a pretty good case for why the baby should actually stay with us for the time being, rather than being disrupted and displaced again with another set of strangers ...

But for the child's long term benefit, to find out their biological history (particuarly as there might be medical things we as parents would benefit from knowing sooner rather than later) and so they can have a better understanding of their own history we'd definately go to the authorities.

We just wouldn't be handing them over without a really big fight...

Also, there would be the possibility that it wasn't actually the parents who dropped her on our doorstep, and on the off chance that there was some poor new mother going out of her mind because some deranged / vindictive / evil / temporarily amnesiac person had stolen her baby and run off with them (and then popped them on my doorstep) it would be incredibly shattering for me to be getting their child wrongfully ...

But if they were safe and alive but unfathomably unwanted by their birth parent, they could come and join our family

Wow - isn't it weird how you can get shown a situation like this and decide in under a minute what you'd do and why??

I wonder if we'd all answer differently if we were asked on another day, or in another mood??