I have to keep telling myself that it's for the greater good, it will set me up to get closer to where I want to be in the near future, it's what my brain needs to grow academically and to pull together some ideas that formed during my BA undergrad and Honours degrees, that DP has been supporting me and I'd be letting down the team if I don't finish it yaddiyaddiyaddah.
This assignment is now two days overdue (though I reckon I can get a special consideration...again...), I've had two hours sleep in two days running and I"m nearly there with wordcount, but I've just realised that I have to rehash a lot of what I've written to more clearly meet the criteria!
AAAAAAAAAARGH! If I thougt I was doing this just to prove something, I'd drop it right now, because I hate that I can't give Oscar my fuller attention, I hate that I can't earn more money because I can't allow anything to cut into my due date periods, I hate that if I go to see my horse I feel guilty because I should be desk-bound catching up on missed reading.
I know I can do it, I'm just sleep-deprived (Ha! Smug lady who told me before Oscar was born that sleep-loss from study is not a patch on baby-induced sleep loss was so way off...all-nighters at the computer account for 95% of my annual sleep-loss!! And are far more painful the next day).
Just venting. Sometimes it doesn't seem like the worst thing in the world to just pack it in, cut my losses and sell Tupperware! But then I know that it's not what I really want to do...
grrrr...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz