Mum's of fussy eaters - Please, I need your help!!

[~*Niadalla*~]

Hi there! My almost 2 year old DS, is the world's fussiest eater. He refuses to eat fruit and vegies (even though 8 months ago he LOVED them). He won't eat red meat at all. He won't even TRY anything new. he won't put it in his mouth to taste at all.
I used to worry, as he was at the 10th percentile for weight for quite some time, so I made things he ate (multigrain hommus sandwhiches for example). Now, I know he is over the 50th percentile, I am happy to try the whole fruit and vege nazi on him.

So starting today, he eats what he is served. His lunch today was a fruit salad of freshly cut fruit. He didn't touch it. I have cut out all snacks. so he's clearly going to be hungry.
I served dinner tonight (rissoles with mashed potato, carrot and parsnip mash and peas). He played with it, bringing the spoon to his mouth, but he wouldn't put any of it in his mouth. He pretends, and then says "yummy". I tried to sit with him (he sits at his own table and chairs) to show him that I was eating the exact same thing. He wouldn't even try any of mine. So looks like he's going to bed with no food (which makes me feel absolutely horrid!!).

Does anyone have any tips that has been through anything like this?
Do I cut out all the food I know he will eat and just try to keep serving new things in the hope he will eventually become so hungry he will attempt it? I asked my MCHN a few days ago if there was any length of time that I would worry about him not eating, and she said no. Should I cut out milk for the time being (as I don't want him to just live on milk as a replacement for food)? Do I give him toast for breakfast like normal or do I give him something like porridge or cereal to try?
Should I not go about like this?
Has anyone had success with their extremely fussy eater?

I would love to talk to anyone who has gone or is going through this. I need the strength to not give in.

Thanks in advance.

[Rach75]

I understand where you are coming from I have spent the last 15mths I suppose wondering what will Jack eat today, he still eats very little red meat may have the occasional mouthful but is few and afr between he also took a disliking to vegies, he has only just now decided to try fresh fruit prior to the last 6 weeks he would only eat dry fruit apricots sultanas and the occasional bit of tinned fruit

Jack lives on pasta he would eat pasta everyday of the week if I let him, and at one stage I did as he just refused everything

he took a liking to eggs so I let him eat them he would only eat the white so I was like whatever he is eating

personally the thought of withholding food altogether unless he eats what you want him to is a bit harsh :hugs: please dont take offence

when you said at one stage you let him eat whatever he wanted and mentioned hommus on wholegrain bread I was liek well whats worng with that unless he is eating a diet of fried chips and fried food all day long then there isn't a problem

anyway in our case the last 3 mths have been amazing difference in what jack will eat, he no longer has milk so maybe thats the difference but he weaned himself of bottles, etc... he now trys fruit will eat apples,watermelon etc, not everyday but at least once a week he also will eat certain vegies, mainly if they come off dads plate

my opinion if what he is eating is ehalthy such as the sandwiches I dont beelive it will do any harm

Jack has only now started havign porridge or cereal he was always a toast boy and then he didn't want anything but a scrpe of butter he still doesn't liek spreads on his bread just a scrape of butter

I know nothing I have said is probably going to help but no others have been there too

[~*Niadalla*~]

Thanks. I was given the advice of the whole no eating by my MCHN and it's really going to take alot for me to follow through with it. The hommus sandwhiches are the only healthy thing he eats. He won't touch eggs, he won't touch pasta, no cereals at all, just bread and dairy. It's doig my head in and I just don't think he is getting everything he needs to I doubt he gets much iron at all in his diet.

Thanks for your reply!!

[Rach75]

My CHN made a big deal of jack not eating red meat told me to cut out all milk at 13mths becuase he wasn't having meat I was like whatever and didn't go back

ok so maybe cut back on the milk as such... have you tried maybe dipping platters, use pita bread or something make beetroot dips, hommus, yoghurt (greek) etc and see if he will try that... maybe ground some lentils into a spread and try that on bread ... I personally would go for the try this tonight and then after a little bit if he isn't interested at all then offer him what he prefers it take persistant and toddlers are designed to drive us nuts

[~*Niadalla*~]

thanks Rach! I will give some of that stuff a go over the weekend.

[Rach75]

no dramas hope it helps

[Junglemum]

I think this is a very common thing for almost 2 year olds. My 20 month old hardly eats anything. I offer her dinner, she generally wont even try it. Like you say, wont even put it in her mouth. She has about 5 foods she will eat. Bananana, mandarin, bread, pasta and potato. I assume it's a phase and it will pass. I hope so anyway! I think the key is not to make a big deal of it but keep offering.

If you are concerned you could give him a multivitamin. Also if he likes milk, would he have a smoothie with some fruit in it?

[mbear]

seriously...dont do this to yourself.....dont make this whole eating experience something you and he dread. Its sooo not worth it. I have a bad eater - my first. She is now 5. Like your son, she used to eat her vegies and fruit - up until around 17-18mths....now she eats chicken nuggets, pasta, corn and rice. Thats it for dinner. But you know....i stopped pushing it. I stopped forcing her to eat what i wanted her to eat.

Ive found, as she has become older, gone to preschool, now big school, she sees other children eat bananas, mandarins, youghurts...and over time she has developed a INTEREST in these foods. And really , thats all i want...i want her to try these foods, and be a little bit interested in a plate of watermelon, or some steamed vegies. We're getting there....it takes a lot of time...but we're getting there.

ETA; i know this doesnt make you your situation any better...but take heart in knowing there are a AWFUL lot of fussy eaters out there....i speak to the ladies at school and almost all or at least 1 of their children will only eat a selection of certain foods...and they are in primary school.....i guess what im saying is...baby steps....take small steps in introducing this wonderful thing we call food.....good luck!!!

[Lolli]

We have the same problem here. I'm determined not to stress out about it. As long as he is eating relatively healthy food (sultanas, sandwiches, grapes and avocado is about it!) that's ok with me.

Hun, I know it's frustrating but try not to make food a stand off point or a battle ground. If you're really worried, get a multivitamin for him. He will come around to eating a much wider variety of foods in his own time, as long as they are available and offered to him from time to time.

HTH.

[MantaRay]

I tend to disagree with some of the PPs. Sure there is nothing wrong with hommus on wholegrain - as one of a range of foods. It is not a balanced diet in itself though, and if you check the salt content of the bread you'll probably realise that three meals a day of that is not so healthy.

Niadla - that is is no way a criticism of you hun. In fact, the reason why I feel strongly about this is because I too have BTDT. DS1 was a very trying eater, and I made a huge mistake early on. He liked only a handful of foods - weetbix, vegemite or cheese sandwich, banana and yoghurt. Literally, that's all he ate. If I offered him anything else, he refused it without even trying. Being a mum, my instinct was to make sure he was fed, so when he didn't eat the first thing, I'd give him a sandwich or yoghurt or banana. Every time. So guess what - he never, ever tried anything because he knew he could hold out for what he wanted.

It was only after seeing a MCHN who was rather unimpressed and sent us to a paed dietician and spent time with us on his eating that I stopped doing that. They said to put food in front of him, and if he ate it great, if not he didn't get anything else. So that's what I did, and boy was it hard. But do you know what - it didn't take very long before he started trying the other foods, and shock, horror, he liked many of them! Who'd have thought!!

Now he is a pretty reasonable eater who happily eats a good variety of foods. As long as he gets his sandwich for lunch

So personally, I think this approach actually works, and it's so great to come out the other side that it makes it worthwhile. You have no idea how great if feels to watch your fussy eater eating vegies!

[Junglemum]

So MR......... when do you say it's an issue rather than a phase? DD was a great eater, now she's shocking. But given it is such a common thing at this age should i really send her to bed with no food. Because that's what will happen. She flat out refuses to eat if she doesn't want to. I am hoping she'll go back to being a good eater. Am i dreaming????

[MantaRay]

Falguni, I think it depends a bit. Over the course of 2 or 3 days, is she eating a good variety of foods, even if it's only a little bit of each? I know that at that age they do seem to be able to go for days with not much to eat, and I think that's normal. And I'm not a huge fan of sending kids to bed without food - in DS's case he didn't seem hungry and didn't mind not eating so it was different. But I think that if you are always resorting to giving her something she likes, it can be a problem because then she will just hold out for what she wants.

I guess what I'd be aiming for is just small quantities of a variety of foods over the course of a week, so that it's not just the same foods all the time. It's fine for her to have one or two of her favourites in a day, as long as it's not too much so that there's some appetite there for something else also IYKWIM?

Does that make sense? Of course this is JMO. A friend of mine gave her DD nothing but fish fingers or chicken nuggets and mashed potato every night until she was 5 as that's all she'd eat. So we all have our own approaches. I guess for me though the clincher is that DS1 has been a really good eater since I stopped giving him the same 5 things all the time.

[Jac]

It was only after seeing a MCHN who was rather unimpressed and sent us to a paed dietician and spent time with us on his eating that I stopped doing that. They said to put food in front of him, and if he ate it great, if not he didn't get anything else. So that's what I did, and boy was it hard. But do you know what - it didn't take very long before he started trying the other foods, and shock, horror, he liked many of them! Who'd have thought!!

While I find it hard to do myself, I totally agree with this. The only variation I make to this with my fussy eater (sounds EXACTLY like yours) is that I will put a small amount of something he likes (eg. potatos) with new foods. I find he is more inclined to consider tasting new foods if there is something familiar on the plate. Also, he eats better if he is not being closely observed! Obviously, the less you comment on how they do/don't eat is best. Present the food and take it away without comment if not eaten. I think you should persist as you might find over a few days that he is willing to try a few things. YOU ARE NOT ALONE - many of my friends kids are exactly the same. Where in Vic are you?

[sirenz]

I agree with MantaRay. If you keep offering the same foods, then that is what he will expect.

Could you maybe try some of his favourites in a different way? For example if he will eat mash potato, could you mash some other vegies into it? I have to do this with my ds because he won't eat any other vegies than potato and peas, but every time we have vegies, I make mash potato and then mash in carrots, parsnips, zuchini and brocoli in his and he eats it all because he thinks its just mash potato

another thing I try, if your ds won't eat red meat, how about fish or chicken? If he will eat these, you could make a tuna pasta bake, with hidden veggies, chicken meat balls with grated carrots and zuchini. So basically what i'm trying to say is perhaps you can offer him some of his favourites, but in different ways, geez hope i'm making sense, i tend to waffle on a bit.

Also, IMO Its no big deal about not eating red meat because its really only for protein he can get his iron elsewhere (perhaps a smoothie with added iron supplement etc).

My ds is starting become a fussy eater as well and he too used to eat steamed vegies, all fruit etc, but now as I said, i have to disguise his vegies.

Just one last thing, you said that he sits at his own table. I am a big believer of eating being a communal thing, family time. It could make a difference if you all sat down together at the dinner table and ate dinner together, that way he could see the family eating everything and sometimes food does taste better from mummy's plate even though it is the same

good luck

p.s I have a few of my own recipes to hide veggies etc, so if you want them just pm your email addy and I will type them up for you (they are all in my head).

[Toomanytoomany]

If you're offering food and he doesn't want to eat it, there's no reason for you to feel horrid! He's choosing to be fussy, you can't force it down his throat!

Many little ones just don't like to eat, particularly at that age, and the more you get stressed about it, the more fun it is for them to wind you up, the little blighters They may not eat a great diet at that age and you may find yourself resorting to some terrible foods or vitamin supplements, but trust me, they really *won't* starve themselves. All my kids have gone through fussy stages at one time or another with a "mono diet" happening at some point. Only one of them has been sick from it and she had issues with food right from being a tiny baby and has underlying medical issues.

I second the idea of having him up at the table with all the family eating together. It normalises eating and has all sorts of social benefits too.

[bigbubbabelly]

I definately no expert at this stage but my sister had lots of problems!

She eventually just send them to bed with empty stomach, stopped chasing them around with spoons and made a a chart of snacks and main meal times (using cut outs from MagS) and the kids helped her with it!

But there is a supplement called pediasure (a drink for 1 to 10 years olds) that targets fussy eaters! Not that solves the problems.....

There is a women who made a cook book call Deceptively Delicious - Get Your Kids Eating Good Food and the recipes could be adjusted for a toddler!

Not sure if this helps....................goodluck

[Madissun]

Niadla- It sounds like MY son you're talking about! Toby is a shocking eater. His diet pretty much consists of weetbix, bananas, yoghurt, cheese and milk. He wont even TRY red meat. He holds it up to his nose, smells it, and throws it on the floor!
Im going to be paying attention to this thread as there are lots of good ideas. I think the idea of not offering them what they WANT to eat will work. Otherwise, as some others have said, why would they try something else if they know they are going to get what they want anyway, KWIM? Im trying to do this at the moment but as we are currently living with my mum, it's proving difficult. She keeps telling me i cant send him to bed hungry and then i feel like a bad mother. So i give in and he ends up having yoghurt for dinner!

[mrscricket]

Another here subscribing to the thread! T is so fussy although he does like fruit. I make up a big batch of every vegetable imaginable, cook it in stock and then puree it and that gets added into everything - mashed potato, casserole, rissoles, the lot. At least that way, he is getting some vegies. If I put cooked, chopped carrots in front of him, he would throw them on the floor but if I let him pick a carrot from the pile at the green-groccers he will have a munch on that. Would Lachie try something like that?
I am guilty of feeding him things I know he will eat, rather than making him try new things. I have only recently realised that after reading Dr Christopher Green's Toddler Taming. There is a good section on fussy eating in that. Let me know if you want me to photocopy it and send it too you.