Hello ladies,
My name is Canary and I have not been here for a while. In January 2008, I joined the bleeding in preg forum, then graduated to the TTC after MC, then PAML. Then I lost the use of my computer when we moved house, and got out of the habit of visiting BB. On New Years Day 2009, our beautiful baby boy was born and I have been blissfully happy ever since.
Unfortunately now, I could do with some encouraging advice because I am going back to work on 3rd August and am finding the idea of separation really hard. I know that every mum goes through this when she goes back to work, but all my friends can say is ''it's hard''. We went to the nursery today for an induction and although i think that Oscar will love playing there all day and will be quite happy, I drove home in floods of tears at the thought of leaving him. I did wonder about extending my Mat leave (too late now), but I think that it will be just as hard whenever I go back.
I am sure that nature did not intend for mothers and babies to be separated and that must account for some of my feelings. I even considered stopping work all together, but I have worked far too hard to give up my career and I think that in the long term I would regret the decision.
I hope that I have found the right place for this post. If I should be posting elsewhere (is there a whole forum for back to work???), please let me know. I would love to hear about other people's experiences.
There is a work forum but the mods can move our posts.
I won't lie to you, it is hard. I went back to work full time when DS was 6 months old. I was so upset on my first day back I cried on the bus on the way to work, cried when I got to work and every time somebody looked at me or asked me anything about my baby. I was very pleased to be back to work but at the same time felt I was abandoning my son.
After a while I made the decision to work 4 days a week so that I could spend time with him going to mothers group or a playcentre or anything else. I wanted a day that I could devote to him without being caught up in all the rushed weekend things. For me this is a good balance of home and family.
Almost 18 months on, and 3 weeks off having my second baby, I have no regrets about my decision to return to work when I did and I honestly believe that my son is more confident and sociable because of his attendance at daycare. He does so many more enriching activities at daycare than I would ever do with him. There are days or stages that he goes through where there are tears when he is dropped off at daycare, but the older he gets the less often they occur or for a different reason (like his favourite trike is being used by another kid LOL).
In the end it is an individual decision what you end up doing that only you and your partner can make. If it doesn't work out you can always quit work and pick it up again at a time that you are more comfortable doing so.
Hugs hun. I am dreading the thought of going back to work, and I don't have to go back until June next year! I am loving being at home all the time and not having to deal with all the crap at work... DF mentioned something in passing the other day about me maybe not having to go back at all which really perked me up!
I think once the first few days are over it may be a bit easier, the thought of it is probably worse than the reality iykwim. Are you able to go and see him during your lunch break? (if you don't think it would upset either of you too much). Otherwise decorate your workspace with lots of photos of him, and feel free to take some time out to just stare at them during your work day! Hope it all goes well and that your remaining time as a SAHM goes as slowly as possible!
Hi Saffi and Storm,
Thank you for your replies. I am feeling a bit better now, but I think that once I have the first week / month / year (!) back at work over with, I will be much more relaxed.
Saffi - I'm glad that you found the 4 day week worked well for you, 'cos that is what I'll be doing. I am really looking forward to the Fridays that Oscar and I can spend together doing fun stuff. GL for a safe and swift delivery of baby no.2 !
Storm - I will def. take lots of photos with me back to work. One of the few pieces of advice that I found really helpful after Oscar was born was not to worry about going back to work and to enjoy my time off as much as possible. I hope that you have a really lovely time - June is ages away!
Awwww... know how u feel. I went back to work when DD was 9 months.
I was very sad and had DH come along with me.
I think its a matter of finding somewhere u are comfortable to leave your baby and then calling all the time ehhe.. i called every day on my lunch break and i saw she was clean, happy and thriving and that all that mattered to me. They were all so helpful and loving and great. DD has since moved to a daycare close to home as i changed jobs and she is still enjoying it at 2 years old.
It will talk some adjusting for both of you, hope all goes well.
Back to work.....EeeK!
I know that every mum goes through this when she goes back to work, but all my friends can say is ''it's hard''. We went to the nursery today for an induction and although i think that Oscar will love playing there all day and will be quite happy, I drove home in floods of tears at the thought of leaving him. I did wonder about extending my Mat leave (too late now), but I think that it will be just as hard whenever I go back.
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