Hi
My DD is almost 14 months and we go to a playgroup! There is a young boy (maybe about 3 years old) who keeps attacking my daughter! She was hit over the head with a small playtime hammer, pushed and rams his ride on toys into her. I don't know if I should tell the child off or approach the mother! I haven't done either right now and remove my daughter from the situation! But I am thinking of ditching the playgroup! The mother does absolutely nothing about her toddlers behaviour and I think she rather sit with her "friends" and have tea and bikkies! Worst still she is friends with the coordinator??
Help what do I do?
I would politely speak to the coordinator and say you find his behaviour unacceptable and will be leaving the group if it keeps up as you are tired a having to remove her from the situation and she should not have to go home with bruises.
The coordinator is responsible for the safety of the children and if she is paid I would be talking to whoever is in charge even if it's the playgroup association of Qld head.
Your child should be safe in this environment and it should be a happy time. I know our coordinator will speak to a child and she is friends with many of the parent.
I don't have a prob with telling the child off in this situation or speaking to the mother. Sometimes its easier to tell the Child, depending on the Mothers nature....is she likely to give you a mouthful IYKWIM. We have the exact same situation at our playgroup currently & it's getting on my nerves, but I will not let that boy ruin my only outings for the week. His Mum will call his name but never get up to him whilst my poor little one is bawling his eyes out!!! I approach the child each time, check on DS & tell the other child please don't & yes if he's taken a toy & used lots of force & hit my child I take the toy back!!!! someone has to sort out the situation. But my son is around the same age....with your situation there's a bigger age gap. Your DD is only a baby & would say that to the child who is hurting her.....something like "please don't, she's just a baby & that hurts"....loud enough for the mother to hear. Then remove her from the situation, make a fuss as to is she ok & then perhaps she'll do something about it.
kids can be rough, so a bit of roughness can be quite normal in some children so you would likely come across this in any group that you attend. however, it shouldnt be ignored. i dont think you need to make a big deal about it but as it is happening go and say 'stop *the kids name* we use gentle hands here', so you would tell him what to do and how to behave in your sentence and then something along the lines of *your DDs name* doesnt like it when you do that it hurts her etc. then you can redirect and say ' look here is a ball you can kick' or whatever...
i would then go and just mention it casually to the parent and say something like... did you see so and so just do that to my DD? gee kids can be rough is it an age thing or something? i'm not looking forward to when DD hits that stage.. so what sort of things do you do to handle it etc etc etc.
well thats what i would do anyway. however.. if it is a continued thing and you arent getting ANY assistance from his mum then i would think about leavin.
oh and teach your DD to say 'stop i dont like it' so that she can speak up for herself too and the other mums will hear her and realise something has gone on.
I think you should have a quiet chat to the mother over a cuppa - it is an organised regular playgroup - not just a trip to the park - so respect all round.
maybe the mother is fully aware and the playgroup is her only time out ?? Does she have other littlies there, single parent, or whatever - I am not defending the boys actions - but mebbe there is more to it - worth checking first I think ....
Playgroup Menace!
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