DS is 21 months and has turned into a bit of a bully. When he doesn't get his way he hits, headbutts, pushes and throws things at other children. Yesterday he bit one of his friends on the arm when she didn't want to share her giant stuffed bunny (we were playing at her house, and his punishment was we left immediately), and today he bit another friend on the finger for no reason (and while she was screaming in pain he came over to me and said "I bit Roofy's finger"). I don't have any idea how to discipline him as he just doesn't listen. The biting HAS to stop ASAP though.
He is very strong minded and stubbornly refuses to listen when you are calling him or asking him to do something. The only time he listens is if I raise my voice and get angry (Which I HATE doing). I have tried a firm "no" and tap on the hand, I have explained to him that his behavior hurts and is not very nice, I have tried telling him that his friend is hurt and crying now because of what he did. I have tried time-outs and then asking him to apologize and hug his friend, but nothing helps in the slightest and five minutes later he is back hitting and pushing. Time-outs don't phase him at all. He just sits in the spot I've put him and sings to himself until I ask him to come over and apologize. He comes over all innocent and says "sowwy", gives me a kiss, and then runs off and starts misbehaving again. When I ask him our rules he says "no hitting, no pushing, no throwing, no biting" but then he still runs off and does them.
Today I took him and his friend outside when the squabbling started in an attempt to distract, but even outside he was being naughty and pushing when his friend tried to play with any of his outside toys. He is much better when we go to a friend's house but even then he still hits and shoves.
He's very loving to DH and I, it's just other children he's mean to. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
One of the options is to ignore him when the negative behaviour occurs and to lavish attention on the *injured* child. There is no reinforcement for your child (positive or negative) and you can simply say to him "we don't hit / push / bite other people" then turn away and interact with the other child.
My DS rarely hurts his little sister but when he does we say "please don't hit (or whatever it is) X" and then turn to DD and make a fuss over her, give her cuddles and remove her from the area. He tends not to do it again for a while
Misbehaving
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