One of the reasons I want to move house is that we could do with an office. DP and I both use the laptops too much and they're in the living room so always a temptation even when we're looking after DD. I've pretty much trained myself ONLY to use the computer when she's asleep but DP isn't quite there yet. We've spoken about it and he's said he's going to try to do better but I'm wondering if anyone has introduced rules?
See, if we had an office it would be easier. The computers would live in there and if we're both around, we could check with the other that they didn't mind if we quickly jumped on for 15 mins here and there.
The evenings would still be a problem as we can both be on there all evening after DD's gone to bed. DP has his own website that he maintains so I don't want to ban him but I'm thinking of setting an hour per evening limit and the rest of the time should be 'us' time.
With my DSS, when he was with us, he could only have 1 hour of play time on the computer (no internet) or console games each night, usually when I was cooking dinner. Any net time was monitored with me sitting with him (huge desk - I'd be studying, keeping an eye on what he was going to). This was when I'd have time off when DSS would visit. When I couldn't get time off it was another story - my xh would let him play console games/computer/net at any time during the day - and sometimes I'd find them both in the same clothes they were in when I went to work, with both complaining of being hungry because they'd been in front of the tv all day.
When my xh and I split, I left him with all the console games he'd purchased during our time together, I couldn't see the point of having them, I didn't own a console, wasn't about to go and buy one, heck I'm flat out putting the tv on at home!
My current partner monitors his kids use when he has them, the computer is in the lounge room, even though they're teenagers, he makes sure they have family time together, even the tv is restricted to an hour or so a day tops!
Computer usage can certainly get out of control and I am the worst offender in my house. My DH has asked me a few times if I was having an affair with BB and my DD1 has also told me to look at her and not the computer!!!! At this ponit I did put rules for myself in place and once my time is up I walk away.
Primarily I make sure that I have spent addequate time with my girls and DH first
my DD1 wanted to do something that i dont allow her to do and i said no. she then said.. just look at the computer ok. and went and did it! LOL smart little thing! yeah i am on a bit too much. i need to get a check on it actually!
We are just about to swap over the rooms we use for our office and our lounge-room so that I can re-instate one rule: supervised 'net usage for my children. We have found that having a computer in a closed office that's away from the main living areas problematic. With me looking after 2 younger boys I just can't keep an eye on DD.
DH and DD don't have any set rules... it's an unwritten rule that we don't use the computers in the Witching Hours of 6pm - 8pm. It's ok to hop on when both boys are in bed settling down to sleep... but not before!
If I'm on BB too much in the evening DH just asks me how things are going "in PMS world" - as he calls BB.
We've had times when DH has been on WoW and just on it solid for 36 hours then complain he's tired. He's missed meals or snacked on them for 3 hours in front of a computer, he's missed beautiful sunny days out with DS, he's missed so much... then he realised he was missing when DS and I were chatting, DS had a few words and had started to play with Duplo bricks and trains.
I find there's no point in rules. I just make my company more desirable than that of the computer. Yes, DS watches some TV when I have to cook without him. Yes, DH and I both use the computer and internet. Some evenings we just slob out in front of the TV. BUT we do talk and enjoy our time together.
When it comes to DIY, no recreational activities until it's done or done for the day (eg can't paint a topcoat until the bottom coat is dry). So if DH said he was going to paint the ceiling after I'd cleaned it that morning he gets no TV until it is painted. But that's a rule that has just come about because if we don't do something now it doesn't get done.
We don't really have any rules but once the boys start using it I won't be letting them have internet access in their bedrooms. I think that keeping the internet in the open they are safer from predators. Not sure how we're going to enforce that becuase we use laptops with wireless but I guess I can give them a desk-top with no internet access for studying and use a password on my lappy.
Computer Use And Family Time - Do You Have Rules?
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