Help me get DS to sleep earlier

[~clover~]

I'm desperate. I need sleep.
I'm so run dowm atm all my glands are swollen & sore. I'm getting headaches behind my eyes. So tired.

Main problem is DS. I've recently started sending the girls to bed at 7. By 8 they are usually both well & truly asleep. (DD2 most of the time)
But DS insiste on holding out til about 10pm to finally go to sleep. The last 4 nights have been with us laying in bed for 2 - 3 hours...

Last night he was down by 8.15, but thats coz he had panadol first, being a bit sick. Back to 10 tonight.

Usually after he goes down I'll have a coffee & shower then head to bed, but its just too late! Then they are all up around 7am. (DD's earlier, but me & DS about 7).

DH isn't here. I could easiy leave DS with him while I have my shower, or even go to bed, if he was here, but he's not. I wouldn't be so dead on my feet.

All the other things stresssing me are dealt with, so I'm hoping it gets better, but now both the little ones are sick... Not sure if I'm just way too tired, or getting sick too..

After DS goes to bed is my alone time. This is it & I'm too tired to enjoy it. That 30 minutes or so is all I get & have had for months.

I want to take it easy over the weekend, but don't want the kids to miss out on any of the long weekend stuff if they are healthy enough. As soon as I get home tomorrow I'm doing nothing!

Would you give your toddler a dose of panadol every night for a few nights to try to change their routine? I don't see any other way around it, but can't see much out my tired sore eyes.

He'll look tired & start drifting off, then he's up jumping around again!

Heeeeeeeelp meeeeee

[Arimeh]

Umm no I probably wouldn't give panadol - but something has to be done!! What about some natural stuff like rescue remedy or something?

How many day naps is he having? Maybe he's having too much sleep - I know if Miss M has more than 2 hours sleep in the day time (and she's only having one nap now) then she'll be up till 8.30.

So sometimes she falls asleep on her bottle that we give her at 6.45 - thats when DS goes to bed too - but if she doesn't, she goes to bed at 8.30. I remember that was his routine too at that age, he would usually go to bed at 8.30 without too much fuss. Some nights he was pretty worked up and we just had to sit there with him (usually took about half an hour) and sometimes he would cry, scream, yell - whatever - but we would continue patting his bum, shooshing him... trying to keep calm ourselves so the nice sleepy vibes would get into the room. Sometimes we would pretend that we were falling asleep so he would get the idea and fall asleep too.. lol

Good luck babe!!

[Mak]

Panadol won't help with the sleep, prolly just did bc he was unwell. I agree with Mel - sounds like he is getting his sleep during the day. Miss Z here did the same at around that age - I had to have her out of bed by 3ish otherwise we were up for hours(she was on 1 nap so bed ~ 1.30 -3). I'd give her some fruit and we'd have to go and run around outside until ~ 4.30pm then we'd start the wind down for dinner etc. It was really hard at the start as I was soooo over being tired and she was not to happy either but after 3 days/a week she completely changed her routine. I still send her out to run around the washing line in the afternoon for a bit, lol.
Good luck - it is awful when you are exhausted and don't have any down time...you sounds like you are doing a great job tho! xx

[Mezzz]

I was going through the exact thing with my little boy (23mnths) about a month ago. It seems it was just a stage he was going through cos it went for about 2-3 weeks and now he is back down at 8ish at the latest sometimes as early as 7ish. I don't think I changed anything although as the weather is better now in Vic we have been playing outside more in the afternoon so maybe thats wearing him out more, or maybe the fresh air helps?

[~clover~]

He's only having one half hour to an hour sleep through the day. I would think that too if he was sleeping through the day more, but I really don't think thats enough to affect his night sleep...
I dunno. We lay in the dark with everything off for the whole 2 or so hours. I've fallen asleep plenty of times & its made no difference, I just wake up to him saying 'bye' as he's climbing off the bed to go find things to do.

[Mak]

Oh man that's rough...Miss Z couldn't have any sleep during the day after about 18months otherwise we were up until midnight. I hope things settle for you soon. xx

[Liviam]

Cutting back on day sleep was going to be my suggestion too but that just doesn't seem to be the problem. It sucks getting no "me time". I probably won't start changing his routine until after day light savings starts (just so you don't have to do it twice).
Do you have a bedtime routine? If so what is it?

[~clover~]

Usually just bath, dinner, sit around for a bit watching tv. I try to turn tv off before they go to bed. Then go lay down & it usually doesn't take long.
But he's been a bit all over the place since teething started up again. Maybe I should try a teething necklace. Always wanted to.

[Spring Angel]

This might be a crazy suggestion but you know the theory that sleep breeds sleep. Perhaps try getting him to have a longer rest during the day (if possible). Half an hour to an hour isn't heaps at his age.

Perhaps he is so restless because he is overtired.

Just an idea, worth a try.

Spring

[~Trish~]

:yeahthat:

I was going to suggest the same thing as Spring. When babies and toddlers get overtired they actually fight sleep and become hyper-alert.

[RoyaUK]

How about trying no TV and from 6.30pm put on some soft classical music - we use a classic for babies bedtime cd and it really is amazing how it soothes down the atmosphere and the girls calm down and stop running about.

I also give porridge about 15 - 20 mins before bedtime to fill up their tummies with oats which are said to help with sleep (high levels of melatonin) and i find they are much calmer going to sleep these days too.

It's so hard on your own though without someone else there. Hope you get some rest soon and recover.

[Janie]

Was going to suggest the same as Spring. I know that can be hard, my DS fights sleep too. But I have found that even for him, sleep generates sleep, it really does work. Your DS really isn't having alot of day sleep for his age (which might be fine for him, but might not too). Have you got any of the No Cry Sleep Solution books? They are fantastic, and a life saver for us, so many wonderful ideas. Maybe see if your local library has a copy (I would be looking for the toddler one if possible) or otherwise you can buy it online.

Good luck hun, I truly sympathise, your DS is not the only one!!!!

ETA And I would definitely agree with no night TV. Ours doesn't go on again after dinner til DS is aleep, unless he's playing in another room. Since implementing this rule it has been much easier to settle him, it really has made a difference.

[~clover~]

Yeah, well no night TV while DH is away is easy. I usually turn it right down anyway since I don't watch it. Or turn it off.
He's just gone to sleep now after less than an hour, but we had a huuuge day. I've made sure all the blinds are closed & I'm hoping they all sleep in in the morning. I've been sending DD1 at 7 - 7.30 coz she's too tired lately & she's still tired & cranky by the next afternoon!

I'll do my best for the longer day sleep. When he feeds through the day, he often starts to drift off, but then just as quick realises what he's doing & is up running wild again.

I actually remember having the same problem when he was 4 months old. Had to change where he slept coz he wasn't getting near enough.

Hmm...I might finally take the sides off the cot, darken the room (put curtains over the blinds or something) & see if that helps. Can't do it in my room, too bright, too many windows & he wakes up if I put him in the cot, so sides off might be the go...

Gee I hope this works. Thanks guys
I do know that panadol isn't the best answer, but its gotta be better than phenergan! Desperate times... I think hopefully we'll be able to work this out though

[nelly]

I am not sure if this will help but we were having similar issues with DS too - and some nights we would be in his room for an hour or so until he went to sleep... when DD was born I decided enough was enough....

So I got really anal and set myself up an anal routine board. This is more so that when the day goes pear shaped I can see what I am supposed ot be doing too lol. Anyway one of our issues ended up being that he was having his day sleep too late and if he slept past 230 or 3 the night was hell on wheels. Best time for us is early lunch around 1130 and asleep by 1230 at the latest. DD also goes down around then so I have at least half an hour me time. Also for his day sleeps I stopped sitting in his room with him and did the "I'll check on you in a minute, just going to get a drink..." and back and forth until he realised I wasn't too far away and fell asleep. nights haven't been quite so simple bcos we have also had some scared of the dark etc issues thrown in.

We have outside time in the morning and afternoon bcos I think there is some merit in the fresh air making them sleep better and he no longer watches TV in the evening ... we got into the habit of him sitting with us in the lounge watching Master Chef and then it just went on from there when it finished. So that has stopped and his bed time has gone from 830 ish to 7pm. Some nights he will still take over an hour but at least it's 7-830 rather than 830-10pm IYKWIM.

He now stays in his room too for day sleeps and night sleeps and no longer gets up - if he doesn't go to sleep during the day he still stays in his room until 2 or 3pm and has "quiet" time. Nights are still a bit challenging but I think we are getting somewhere. We are also using a reward chart for sleeping that includes day sleeps, no crying out, no getting up and that has helped too.

I believe that having a more strict routine has helped him cope better during the day and our nights are far more pleasant. HTH

[~clover~]

Nelly - I just went through similar with DD2 Only recently she was my night owl. Has been since she had colic as a NB. She is about 18 months older than your DS.

Thats what I was doing (trying to get a better routine) & I did learn to pay attention to the time of day sleeps with DD2, so I'm pretty careful about all that.

DS is only 18 months though & still breastfed & co sleeps during the night. He doesn't understand to stay in his bed & I'll be back or anything yet. He's still very much attatched to me & very rarely lets me out of his sight unless we are at home. There's just no way I could put him in bed & walk away. He went in the cot for a little while with his teddies in the dark last night & laid down, but got over it, lol. And that was with me there holding his hand.

[kelebek]

I do know that panadol isn't the best answer, but its gotta be better than phenergan! Desperate times... I think hopefully we'll be able to work this out though

So tempting but your right you will work through this

ummm..... you mentioned about sleeping in a different spot for his day sleep could you lay on one of the girls bed just after lunch and feed him to sleep??

I am almost wondering if my DS is nearly ready to drop his day sleep but then if I lay down with him he will sleep for 3 + hrs with me

Our 'routine' is tea about 6pm, bath by about 7pm, then dressed etc... and a 'boo' feed about 7.30 - 8 and then it is straight to bed. I find if I let him play for too long after that 'boo' feed he winds himself up iykwim? would it fit in with the girls bedtime if you could try that feed, bath, bf and bed so it all runs after the other with little play in between?

Goodluck and hope something works soon