Help Mother's Guilt setting in Big time!!

[lauradacombe]

I am really worried that I am hurting my baby. I don't mean in a violent way I mean just when I am burping or cuddling him. Babies are so fragile and although my Mum says what I am doing is fine I am worried. Bub is only 11 weeks old and I freaK out sometimes if I squeeze him tightly when hugging or pat too hard when burping. He doesn't ever cry or react that I have hurt him, but am I damaging him mentally?? That's sounds so ridiculous but I needed to ask before I go crazy. I would hate to feel responsible if something was wrong with him and it was my fault cause maybe I hugged him just that little bit too tight one time or patted him too rough another. Am I freaking out for nothing???

[Tish]

When Ds was born i was freaking out during his first bath about whether or not i was hurting him. the midwife said think about how babies come into the world, they are not made from glass LOL was good advice and helped me to relax a bit

[ladybird11]

I don't think you have anything to worry about IMO. If your mum also says you're doing it fine, thats even better. If you're still not convinced why not speak to a childhood nurse??

[Fleur]

Babies are much tougher than we think! If he's not crying or reacting badly then I would think he's fine.
Wait until there are other young children around bubs - that will really test how tough they are!
I think you're doing fine.

[rhyb]

If you are really concerned Id see your GP or MCHN. Wait til you see the things they do to themselves and youll never worry about when you burped or held them. Remember these actions are out of love with no ill will behind them.

[Evie76]

I was the same with my first baby. Don't worry. I am sure you're not hurting him. The nurses in the hospital and CHN's just "throw" them around (not literally) but they're no where near as gentle as the mother's. I am sure you're being very gentle.

Just like jasp said, when they're a second and subsequent baby their mettle is really tested. My DS2 is constantly poked and prodded all day. Stuff that would have TOTALLY freaked me out if someone had done it to DS1. When he's not being poked and prodded, DS2 is looking for DS1 because the excitement has ended.

Babies are very resilient and I am sure you're not hurting the little fella at all.

[amberj]

The nurses in the hospital and CHN's just "throw" them around (not literally) but they're no where near as gentle as the mother's. I am sure you're being very gentle.

ITA with this- as a new mum I was appauled by how the midwives were handling my baby: not that they were rough or inappropriate by any means, but just because I was like "CAREFUL!!!!" if anyone breathed on him!

I think your feelings sound normal and you are doing just fine.

[Kahlan]

OH darl, wait until bubs gets immunised. God I almost cried in front of a bunch of strangers.

What you are feeling is perfectly fine. I was the same. DD has such a blocked nose that we had to use little fess suction thing to take it out. Anyway, I was suppose to squeeze the thing first and then put it up my DD's nostril before releasing it (so it would suck the snot out), anyway what I did was squeezed it when the thing was up her nose. God I almost died on the spot as she screamed with fright and much more. Had to call the nurse on call to reassure that I hadn't caused permanent brain damange or something.

You are doing a wonderful job. Enjoy your time with your bub.

[lauradacombe]

Thanks a bunch ladies, it is such a relief to hear that some of you felt the same way. And yes I too did ball like a baby when he had his first jabs the other week. It was so embarrsing. My hubby had to hold him cause I couldn't watch, but I could hear him crying poor little thing. The nurse said babies have a short memory and wont even remember it by the end of the day... however I will remember it forever.