Oh my...joys of boys

[maz]

I have been putting the candle at the door way of the boys room at night for an hour as we have been finding it sooths and calms Wilhelm which he had hoped was helping go to sleep nice and early (9.30 instead of 11 -12).

Anyway..tonight I thought id put it about 1m in from the door inthe middle of the room as both boys were in there and they had gained our trust plus being almost 8 and 10 youd think we'd be alright.

Pftt

Both boys come out here looking guilty as sin. N starts with his...but but but.

W had gotten a tissue and decided to burn it over the candle

Walking up the hall way the smell hit us. no smoke just smell.
I asked who did it....W said he did.
Asked what happened and if he knew what could have happened.
yes...he could have burnt the house down
To which I added with all of us in it.

I didnt yell, I didnt go mental. I asked N if he was involved and said he didnt have to lie cause if he was it would be worse.
He answered no.
Asked why he didnt get us.....he didnt know.
W piped up and said he was smacking the flames out.

Told W he is NOT going lego shopping with the school and careers on tuesday as what he did was very dangerous and stupid to do and if he was going to do naughty and silly stuff like this then he would miss out on things he would enjoy. Poor N was almost crying. I told him that he should have called us or atleast hit the wall for us to hear but perhaps next time he should do that first.

I walked out feeling so sick to my stomach. All I wanted to do was shake the living pooh out of W for being so stupid yet I could see his why in his brain he would have done it.

God that kid is sending me silly. Jed and I said that if we would have done that as children we would have coped a 'flogging'....what for?

Im finding words and other actions far more helpful then hurting my hand

[*TripleJ*]

thats awesome maz u held ur composure so well i hope i can be that good a parent when my boy gets to that age i think that will definately make them think twice about doing something that dangerous again well done xoxoxox

[STARRYSKY]

MAZ! That must have scared you!
when I was younger (alot younger!) probably about the same age as your boys, I did something similar, ended up burning a big hole in the carpet My parents called in the Fireys to talk to me, not just me, but the kids next door and all my brothers too....scared the living **** outa me. much better than a walloping would have!

[1MOREPLZ]

oh maz.....made my tummy turn....
glad everyone is ok/safe!!!!

if it was me...the entire street would have heard me!!!!!

[feeb]

Ohh gees glad all is ok.

well done on staying calm

[~clover~]

I think seeing the reality there in front of their eyes was enough!

My dear BIL found matches at W's age. After burning IL's bedroom down he never went there again!

[Lolli]

Holey moley Maz.

You handled that so brilliantly I'm impressed. He'll definitley think twice before doing anything like that again (lets hope anyway).

[briggsy's girl]

well done for keeping your cool hun - scary stuff, but i'm sure they will learn from this experiences

[Tinks]

FAR OUT!!

Well done Maz! Not getting Lego is a far better punishment than a belting.

My nephew DID burn my sister's house down (accidentally) with a lamp though not a candle. He shut the door and didn't tell her the bedroom was on fire until it was way too late to save.

[ladybird11]

Woohoo on the gentle parenting skills!!!

I'm so glad everyone is safe and no damage was done.

(I guess this leads into your thread about the battery powered candles ).

[JCE0810]

geez Maz!! i'm glad all is ok

well done for not loosing your cool

[Visitor8]

oh god Maz. LOL trust the boys. Chase was playing with a lighter the other week, found one of his toys melted, asked who did it and he said it wasn't him, Jaidan told me it was. I wasn't happy either.

[~Saram~]

Well done Maz! You did such an awesome job! The firies do have a program for kids who light fires but I know with Xander the bigger deal I make of something the more risk it becomes a new obcession I think you handled it so well, calm and low key and I'm guessing the consequence = very effective :-)

heres hoping not something you have to deal with again

[MistyFying]

I'm very glad you're all safe

[Amity]

Maz, so proud of you for handling it the way you did. I'm so impressed.

And so grateful that everything is ok!

[maz]

oh the firies you say Sarah and stary. Might give them a call and see if I can organise something, even if its me just going down there so one of them can have a chat to the boys.

Leesa - you know me to well dear. Yes have bought some from ebay BUT have found something even better. I went about got one of the gardern solar lights and bought it inside. The room has a nice glow about it and the sun made it

I can see why he did it....his brain would have been ticking over 1000 times over about it.

We left a note in his communication book (its been found ) that he is NOT to go to the lego shopping tomorrow and rang his teacher quickly, who agreed that it was a good punishment for doing what he did. I still feel about it and I know I shouldnt but I feel terrible he cant go tomorrow because he has been looking forward to this for 2 weeks. BUT I have to pull my big girl panties up and stick to my guns.

Thank you all for your reassuring words. I thought that perhaps I had done things wrong and gone a bit overboard wth just tlaking to him about it but I can see how much more effective it has been.

[~clover~]

Maybe later you could try getting him to do some positive & you could take him lego shopping? Its really hard to follow through when you know they have been looking forward to something for so long.
But, christmas is in a week & a half. There'll be enough excitement in that for him

[~Saram~]

Maz - I know exactly what you mean - when I read your consequence my stomach fell and I thought - wow she is a much stronger parent than me - I wouldn't have been game as I know the tantrums that would have ensued for weeks - but we have had to do similar at times. Something I found helped (don't know if it's the "right" thing to do as far as parenting rules but it works for us) is to say - yep it's gone but... you work it back up by doing this right and this right (we have to be specific - as you would understand) and we keep a chart and then I might take him somewhere equivilent or whatever the consequence removed was. I don't know - often I think I am teaching him he can do the wrong thing and make up for it but at the same time it seems to work with how our DS thinks and we haven't had any reprocussions (yet :-)

Hope the fall out isn't too bad