I have to start this thread...I know of a few of us who feel like the ground is being taken from under our feet because we wont be having any more babies
As scared as I am of having another special need's kid.....I still have that longing, that yearning to have feel alittle person growing from the love of Jed and me in my belly.
Those late night acrobatics when you lay down to go to sleep, watching your little person rolling from one side of your tummy to the other. The excitement of feeling those flutters, and sitting on the loo praying that AF wont turn up with every wipe you take. Knowing other people (like me ) envious that you have created something magical and special within yourself.
Late night feed's in the darkness were its only the 2 of you breathign each other in.
Watching my other children oh and ah over the new addition to the family....watching for that first smile and their hands reach out for you. The excitement in their face when you enter the room. The first laugh...man...
Iknow we should be happy that we have children.....but its an ache in my heart knowing there will never be another one . I hope to hell Im not going to be one of those overbearing grandmothers
Tell me about it Maz! I am already consoling myself that my DD might have a baby of her own in as little as 8 years if she follows in my footsteps. I am holding onto all the nicest baby clothes, cot, toys, shoes etc for that happy day. How bad is that!
In some ways my mind was made up for me when I was diagnosed with my Graves disease. if it wasn't for this wretched condition i would be really grieving... as it is with my fatigue etc at least has made me realise that I need to embrace the next phase of life. It's hard though... for all the reasons you stated.
maz massive hugs to you i cry over this i wanted so many and i just physically cant and its so upsetting I wish ppl could have them for me. I know i shoudl be happy with the 4 plus one growing in me but i think some ppl are just born made mummies and thats me and maybe you. Where you always want more, i cant wait for grand kids but dd is only 11 and i dont want her to have them yet. I am slowly going through the acceptance process of this is it. :hugs to ya
My DD is 15 soon.... this sounds appalling but I won't be angry with her if she falls pregnant before i did (24) but in reality she has a very arms-length approach to physical intimacy and i can't see that happening anytime soon! Must remember that she is on her own journey and MUST not interfere! I am really looking forward to being a grandmother though... i have idolised that phase of life ever since I was a child. I revered my own grandmother and wanted to grow up to be just like her! I think I have been living like a granny for the past 20 years... y'know, doing my needlwork, wearing my apron... good grief i was experiementing with hair rollers last weekend... my own mother never wore them... but I think nana did! LOL I am seriously going to love being a Nana!
I have tears in my yes now!
I feel exactly like that. I could of course, but with 3 kids with very strong & different personalities I'm too scared. Its hard enough.
Maz all i can say this is such a wonderful, wonderful thread ... thank you from the bottom of my warm heart to your's
... DP & i said our goodbye to TT#2 not long ago (we had be trying for 2.5years) and as i am turning 44 next month it just feels so much harder being further away from it all. I many times feel like i'm grieving for those baby years of my now 3.5year old DD & know i will never be able to experience them again, then there is the guilt of not being able to give my much deserved and beautiful funny character DD a sibling like any other child may have but then i think to myself i put in a pretty good darn effort for my age (body might be getting old but i dont feel it, LOL) and i reckon one day when she can understand i will hopefully hear from her how proud she is of me for getting as far as i did at almost 44
Then yesterday it hit me like a lightening bolt i ' might ' yeh maybe get to be a grandmother one day if i live long enough ... and then the excitement came flooding back ... i just ' might ' have another bubba to cradle in my arms again one day that is part of me
So DP bought it to my attention that if DD has her 1st baby at 40 like i had her at 40 i would be 80 as a grandmother and fingers crossed i'd still be around to squeeze in that magical experience ....... (or if not maybe i will go foster a ton of children, like my own Mum fostered )
I am so glad too that you started this thread Maz cause this is the point in my life too. I get teary when other people announce their pregnancies even though I have had my turn and i am glad for them.
Sometimes I wish we had another BB for us to move to cause i dread the day I have to leave cause my children are way too old and everyone on here is young enough to be my daughter LOL
I don't like to think about grandchildren because I think I am in denial about getting older! DD is 18 so realistically it could be in the next few years (she says not) but I don't feel excited about grandchildren I feel dread at being old!
I just went to coles and heard and saw a newborn cry....I nearly started and that I got that tingling..you know, the one when you know your bub is just about ready for their next feed....
I take my hat of to you girls who can think about grandchildren already.....Im so not there to think of that yet. I look at V and cant imagine her having kids yet, I dont see her in that light yet and I dont want to for such along time .
N knows how I feel...at the grand old age of 9. He asked me one day that when he get's married and has babies can I help and love them as much as I love him OMG I wanted to slap him for making me so proud that he asked and again for seeing how much I do love him.
Sarah said in another thread that she cried when she got AF. I gotta say, everytime i O I think what a waste and pray for some big miracle that my tubes have grown back together again. I fell pg with my tubes clamped.....so why couldnt I be so lucky
I haven't used any birth control in 2 years LOL Its so impractical for us to have any more kids but I sometimes pray for a miracle "accident". The backlash I would cop from everyone around me probably wouldn't be worth it though
even though there is always a chance we may have a miracle, i am facing this exact situation. DH is older (yeah, it's not really a drama how old he is, BUT, it does enter the equation for us) - and i can't see me wanting to go the AC path again for quite some time - this is where his age enters it - i don't want to still be going through AC when he's 50 - it's not fair! so i have kinda resigned myself to E being an only bubba. we will play russian roullette - and if it happens, fantastic - but with all the hurdles we've faced, i seriously doubt it... it's a tough pill to swallow...
I'm feeling the same sort of greif....I'm not completely denying that there may be more, but DH is pretty adamant about it now. I'm praying for a sneaky bub too....
I feel like this too and I think why oh why didn't I cherish my firstborn more in his babyhood. Not that I didn't cherish him, but I just didn't realise how quickly they grow up.. and that once they do, babyhood is long gone. It's cruel in a way. By the time you're getting enough sleep to really enjoy them, they're growing up and becoming so independent... and then you start to want another, which is easy to contemplate when you're getting a good nights sleep.
ATM I'm very emotional because DS is going to high school. It's as though in the blink of an eye he's grown up from a boy to a young man instantly. They don't stay little for long enough.
Sometimes I feel that I could easily have another baby right now. But then the feeling passes when i spend time with my sister and her baby. It makes me realise just how much hard work they are. Although I love my nephew to pieces, I just couldn't go back to the baby stage.
I too look forward to being a grandparent. I love being and aunt and I am at peace with not having any more babies, ever.
Enjoy your children now as it wasn't that long ago I thought being a grandparent was ages away. Suddenly DD1 had finished school, then engaged, married and I now have 2 beautiful GS's.
Time really flies and before you know it they have left school and are starting their own lives
It is a sad time when you realise you are finished having children but what lies ahead is a fantastic journey watching your children grow and become adults then the joy of holding your grandchild in your arms
... i so understand that Maz, for me to think about being a grandparent personally means a different kind of notion as it means i reached elderly age & also it gives me a moment of release of the grieving feeling i get so much at times now and i make myself see a brighter side of the fence to escape that painful feeling.
DP & i have both said as DD is our only there is a likely chance we may not have grandchildren as i think there will be a day many years away where i will feel sad about that but sad about it for me and ' not ' DD as nothing would make me more than happier than for her to make choices that make her happy & having a child may not be something she wants ... and having a child may or may not be for her who know's, i just hope i'm around long enough to find out
... DD will ALWAYS be my " Bubba " no matter how old she is
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No more baby club
) envious that you have created something magical and special within yourself.
. I hope to hell Im not going to be one of those overbearing grandmothers
I am already consoling myself that my DD might have a baby of her own in as little as 8 years if she follows in my footsteps. I am holding onto all the nicest baby clothes, cot, toys, shoes etc for that happy day. How bad is that!
)
OMG I wanted to slap him for making me so proud that he asked and again for seeing how much I do love him.
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