14 week old cries whenever I leave.. normal??

[skeetaboat]

Hiya,

I'm an AP parent of a 13 week old baby and go to the gym 2-3 x per week, while DH minds the baby. She is usually crying by the time I get home. As soon as I take her from DH when I get home, she stops crying. She's not necessarily hungry, sometimes she has a suckle to calm down & go to sleep, but not really a big feed. I always feed her last thing before I go.

Tonight DH told me that she actually cries nearly the whole time I'm gone , which broke my heart (grrrr @ DH - he thought he was being supportive by giving me some time out of the house, but he also knows my parenting convictions, no.1 being DO NOT LET THE BABY CRY ).

Anyway, I won't be going again, will have to work out some other way to get some exercise done, but my question is, is this normal???? I'm gone about 1 hour 15 mins max. And do you think these times of seperation from mumma and crying will have adversely affected her attachment/sense of security??

Would love to hear from some other AP mummas.

[Nai]

I don't really AP but I remember DD1 was like this from 12 weeks to about 8 months! She wouldn't let me out of her sight and didn't want to go to anyone else. She suddenly snapped out of it and has been fine ever since. DD2 was fine until 9 months and now she has started - I hope it doesn't last as long for her.

I don't think it is "usual" as such but it is not uncommon to have separation anxiety at a very young age.

[Sammiejane]

What is your DH doing when you are not around? Sometimes they (DH) get so flustered when babies cry that they keep doing the same thing over and over, so they dont actually settle them...
Have a chat with your DH, find out what is happening when you leave.

Maybe you could get DH to put a sling on and take her a walk. Or for the time being, go to the gym only once a week and take your DD out for a walk, not as good as getting a massive workout, but you are still out there just the same.

MJ was never really a crier, she was held and cuddled by many from day dot. she spent little time alone, but was happy at whoever she was with.
Her sep anx didnt really kick in til much later on....

[skybie]

hey hun, DD2 is doing the same thing. apparently theyre at an age where they know who they want to be with, mummy. DD2 wont settle for anyone but me atm and doesnt like being held by anyone either. they know that we are their protection and food sorce so they only want to be snuggled by mummy!
it will pass eventually though