Do you make time to spend with your kids individually?
Now that my kids are getting that little bit older, and I am able to breathe occaisionally, I have been thinking that maybe I should make more of an effort to spend time with my kids individually. Like maybe go out with them one on one sometimes. They are still only little themselves and love each other to death, so it would probably on be the occaisional thing, like taking DD for a babycino when I go out for breaky alone occaisionally, or maybe taking DS to a playcentre alone so I could concerntrate on him alone. This would also give DH time to be alone with the other child too, iykwim. Some special bonding time for us all, individually.
Do you make time to be with your children individually, or do you just go with it and spend time together as a family, or with siblings all the time. DH and I have family time with the kids often. We rarely get time alone just the two of us, and even more rarely take one child at a time. I rarely get time alone either (a mothers lot!).
So I was just thinking it might be nice to get into a kind of routine now while the kids are young. So we can get to know each other individually. I can't really remember spending quality time with my mother, doing girly stuff or anything really, other than cleaning the house together how fun! And we don't have the best relationship now. She doesn't know me very well and stresses over our relationship, but won't do anything to help fix it. I don't wnat that f with my children. I want them to know they are loved as individuals as well as being part of a family if that makes sense!
funny you mention this, but I have been thinking about it a lot. Not so much DS, but definitely DD.
I have been making time each day to specifically play with her. Just her and I, and let her choose what we do.
Sometimes I feel like all I do is rant at her, so I really want her to feel like some times is her time too. DH requires a bit more coersion. She wanted him to play Barbies with her today. He reluctantly agreed but then turned all stupid on her and got her so worked up cos he wasn't playing right....poor little girl.
Same as you, I don't remember specific time with my mum, but we're OK.
I don't remember having one-on-one time with either of my parents unless you count occasionally travelling with them to basketball games alone.
But I do make time to spend one-on-one time with each of mine - they're now 6 and 4 and so really appreciate it. They are both also very different children, so each chooses different activities.
I come from a big family and still have fond memories of 'special time' with mum or dad. It probably only happened once or twice a year, but the kid would get to decide what they wanted to do and whether it was mum or dad who went with them. I used to go out for a hot chocolate and cake with mum, and i have still have a couple of books that have written in the front of them "love from mum on our special night out", one is dated 1984 so i was 5 or 6 years old.
My hubby's family did a similar thing but they had special night in. they always lived in the country, so not so many things to do close by but on their special night the other kids went to bed, and the kid whose night it was got to stay up late and watch a video or play games or cook bikkies or whatever it was they chose for their activity.
We sorta do? Like, if we have to go to the shops or something, I'll just take one kid or something, or DH takes one if he's going. For example, today I had to do the grocery shopping, so I went when DD1 was having her nap, left DH at home with DD2 and took DS with me. DH then went out cos we've ran outta beer (hehe) and he took DS and DD1 with him and left me at home with DD1.
So we sorta do it, but its nothing exciting - just trips to the supermarket when its easier to take one or two and give the other parent a bit of a break without leaving them ALL at home with that parent.
Once a week as a child my Sisters and I were allowed to stay up until 8.30pm instead of our usual 7.30pm. It would only be the one child and Mum and Dad. We could play board games, sit out on the veranda and Dad would teach us about the stars or if we were really lucky watch a TV show like A Country Practice. We would always get a treat like some chocolate or my favourite, mint leaf lollies.
It was just a hour but it was ours and didn't have to be shared with the other sisters. It seemed like such a treat. I still remember it so fondly and I will definately be doing a similar thing with my kids as they grow.
Yep I def plan on doing this with my kids! (I only have one at the moment) But it is something I decided on years ago, I have also told DP that it is important that he has 'daddy dates' as well.
Some of my best memories were the times I would get one on one time with my mum.
Every once in a while she would let me have a day off school (a bit naughty I know, but it would usually coincide with a doctors / dentist appointment anyway) and we would hang out. She would take me to Maccas, and we would have a wander around the shops but the best bit was just that it was the two of us : )
My dad wasnt around so I know I missed out on so much not having him there, thats why so important to me that DP does the same.
We do definitely, just because I like the idea of making them the centre of attention sometimes.
Juliette has her mummy time when Alexzander is at preschool at the moment that means home days, shopping etc. When we go shopping we will sometimes stop at a cafe for a baby cino & cookie to share
Alexzander gets different things. He adores his daddy & loves going for drives with him, even if it's just to Bunnings or to get some bread. We're taking him to the moonlight cinema next weekend & leaving Juliette with her grandparents, so that should be fun. We've had movie nights too where we get all set up on the lounge after Juliette is in bed & watch one of his movies all together, of course we have lots of treats at the same time
We try to make time to spend special one on one time with our kids, especially DD now she is getting older- I think she gets a little tired of sharing everything with her brother, so likes to go out with just her dad, or I alone. I am trying to encourage DH to spend some more one on one time with DD as I keep saying to him, the relationship you build now will be the foundations of the relationship you have with your teenage daughter.
When I was a kid we used to get a 'sick' day a couple of times a year, where we would stay home and hang out with mum. I also have very fond memories of heading out and doing things alone with my dad.
Yes! definitely. Last Monday i took just my 6yo to the cinema... just him and I... I also usually go shopping with 15yo DD once a week, just us...and my 3yo has me all to himself when the older kids are at school. That will change this year as he starts full-time kinder... but I will definitely make arrangements for us to do something, just us, once a week...even if it's just a babychino and a smartie biscuit together at the local cafe.
When i was a kid i also never really recall having special 1-1 time with my parents. It made me feel disconnected I think. I find that making this time does pay off especially engaging their co-operation for the rest of the week.
I have been thinking about this alot lately too. DD1 is off to school in a year and I feel that I need some one on one time with her before she starts school. I'd like to take her to a craft centre or the movies, just me and her.
On a daily basis I try and spend some one on one time with each child. Simple things like a cuddle on the lounge, colouring into together or just reading a book. The others may be around but I try and focus on just one of them for that activity.
DD1 is 4 now and we've had some ssues with her just crying at the drop of a hat so I've made a point of trying to teach her how to articulate her feelings without the need to cry about everything. So alot of one on one conversations happen now.
I did not mean to but it has worked out that way with my boys' sleep patterns. My youngest wakes an hour and a half earlier than my eldest. We spent that time together. My eldest goes to bed an hour later than my youngest (despite my best efforts in the beginning but I have realised that he has his own body clock so I work to it now). We spend that time together.
Occasionally i will take just one shopping, usually my eldest and we will have a coffee/drink with just us before we actually shop.
DH only has one-on-one time with the eldest at the moment. Usually involves doing work outside the house (cars, mowing etc) with DS1 loves.
I had very good memories with my mum and dad, i was the youngest in family and when I was about 6 to 14 i spent lots of time with mum shopping and cooking. then, i was interested in electronic since teens and about 20's i spent lots time individually with my dad.
I do always like spending time with my daughter or son or both. I like watching them playing, laugh, have fun and happy....
Thats why i am bit disappointed with my marriage now cos my yucky hubby never spend time, playing with them ....
Do you make time to spend with your kids individually?
how fun! And we don't have the best relationship now. She doesn't know me very well and stresses over our relationship, but won't do anything to help fix it. I don't wnat that f with my children. I want them to know they are loved as individuals as well as being part of a family if that makes sense!
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