Tell me about your Village (Support network)

[BekZ]

Hi Everyone,

Trillian I hope you don't mind me stealing your terminology. Building a Village or support network for ourselves came up in another thread. This got me thinking about how others build their Village.

I've had a think about my Village and so far my inner support network is my DH, his parents and sister and my father and his wife. In the past I've always been concerned about what they can do for me regarding helping with the kids etc. But lately I've decided that they need to get some thing back and I've made a promise to visit them a bit more and just be there if they need me.

Outside of my family is the ladies at Playgroup. Although I really haven't considered them as a part of my Village as such.

So to me the term "Village" means community and community means building relationships - give and take.

[AliBaby]

My village is

-BellyBelly
-DP (I did put BB first as DP is often at work and isn't really that much help around the house although he does watch her if I ask and if I ask him to do other stuff he will)
-Mothers group (some girls in particular who have looked after DD for me when I have had to work and couldn't get other CC)
-MIL (who helps cook for us, looks after DD for me sometimes)
-My family who are constantly getting things for DD and are only a phonecall away)
-My neighbour (has always said she would look after DD if I am stuck and has on occasion)

I feel supported but honestly BB gives me the most support

I know I am also there for all of my family and friends. It only really works if everyone helps others and uses their skills in particular areas to help out. DP often helps my friends, neighbours, family with their cars as that is his trade and I will help out with babysitting whenever I can as well.

[Lulu]

So to me the term "Village" means community and community means building relationships - give and take.

Absolutely right. Apart from noting down who is there to support you, don't forget to put in those that you are there for too

[satya]

My village is pretty small. It's pretty much me, my son & my parents. I guess the mum's group ladies are there to some extent. I've pretty much lost contact with my friends pre having a child as their lives have gone in totally different directions to my own. I do also get some support from my ex's parents & their new partners & his grandparents as well. That's about it. I am there for the ex's daughter on occasion when she needs somewhere to stay or hang out for a little while or to bring her home from a family event. I know I need to make my village a little bigger but am a little lost on how to go about that. Oh almost forgot, my online friends keep me sane, can't forget them.

[*charmalea*]

i dont really feel like i have a village , all my life i have felt left out, i have felt odd , like im just not worthy , if that makes sense , so this is hard .

i have my DH the 1st person i will go to if i need help . My mum and sister , the next 2 .
then i have my friends , i always open my heart and help to them , to make them feel like if they are in strife , they can come to me and i will support , because i care .

on the flip side , i dont feel like they care about me enough to do any thing like that for me , sure if a needed a babysitter they would help ( but they would be the last ppl i go to ) but im always left out of the loop , the last to know everything and it seems they are stronger unit with out me .

so my village is kinda small.
Oh there is my next door neighbour, whom i opened my door and heart to when she was in a bit of trouble . we really only used to say hi and let our kids play together out on the front lawn , never really speaking , but she knocked on my door and needed me and dh .

now we talk nearly each day and our kids love playing the whole day together . and its def not a hassle when one of us says "can you just look after ...... for a few hours "

I also have another friend i have known for 23 yrs . she is a mum of 2 as well now , and growing up i used to want to be "perfect" just like her . now that shes a mum , its clear she faces the struggles , and the not so pretty parts of motherhood , just like me . seeing her in an imperfect state made me stop "idolising" her and put her on my level, and now we have a better understanding of each other .
another member to my village , i would go to her if i needed help .

so i would include my neighbour as part of my tiny village .

MY DH
MUM
SISTER
NEIGHBOUR
FRIEND

not the hugest village in the world , but its full of the ppl that matter to me in some way.