Sudden Overwhelming urge - real or?

**Papillon** · January 12th, 2010, 12:56 PM

So, a week and 2 days ago we lost our bubba. I was 8 weeks. This has been so hard for me, and when it happened, i swore to my ob (who was with me at the hospital through the loss) that i did not want to continue trying for awhile, that i just cant cope.

I didnt bother with contraception as the thought of sex made my skin crawl.

Then, 5 days after loosing bubs, DF and i were in bed and talking/grieving together, and well.... one thing led to another. I didnt care about the risk's of pregnancy (although with calculation i figured we would be safe), but it was so very intimate, and beautiful that i am now in his words " a sex crazed woman " .... because every night since we first DTD since loosing baby, i have wanted to DTD, and as it draws closer and closer to O time (which i can feel bulding, got all the normal symptoms nausea etc that i get before i O), i suddenly dont care. I want to be pregnant, i want to try again. But a week and a bit ago i was dead against it. I couldnt stand the thought.

I focused on the few things i wanted to achieve for this year, which i could still do, kind of.. but would have to delay it. That when i was pegnant i didnt care i would have to do, then when i lost the baby i couldnt stand the thought of trying again, of being pegnant. I told DF no more, i would go ahead with my plans and put of more kids for a few years.

But all of a sudden i want to be pregnant again. I wanna go again.

Is this real or is THIS apart of the grieving???

This didnt happen any of the other los's we have had. We have had more than i have in my sig, but some of them wernt confirmed (early loss's), but for example the last loss before this recent one, i didnt even consider sex or anything close for over 4 months, and then didnt wanna try again until 8 months after.

I am now coming up to the days before O which are optium to try for another bub, and the drive to make love is stronger than ever before. I dont know if this is real and if we should or if this is a trasnitionary thing that would pass and i would then regret it?

DF is so ok with whichever way we go, he is okay to wait he is okay to go again. Doesnt help but then his support and such is so nice and comorting to know he is happy to just go with what i feel i can and cant do.

I would love some advice, as i havent been here....

AND.... this is silly but the due date we would have (which i know due dates mean jack but we all know how much we focus on them), but our new due date would be 10/10/2010.. which is just a deal breaker.... making me want to try even more!!

PLEASE if you have been here or have experience, is this real or is this part of my loss?

also i am sorry if this doesnt make sense...

xo

**AliBaby** · January 12th, 2010, 01:04 PM

i think it is so normal to have your feeling jumping all over the place.

I think it is a good thing that you guys are still connecting and helping each other get through your loss whatever way you can and that he is so supportive and loving and caring to you.

I do remember after I had a mc the thought of DTD again totally freaked me out as I just couldnt possibly stand to think about being pregnant and possibly losing another baby but that passed and I think everyone is different as to how long it takes to pass if you even feel that way to begin with at all.

You and DF should just do what feels right for you two. Much love to both of you

**mako** · January 12th, 2010, 01:06 PM

I just want you to know that I feel exactly the same this time too and my DH is happy to in his words "keep getting it while he can" lol. My GP told me yesterday that its advised we wait 3 months but couldn't provide and medical reason for it so I'm saying Pfft to that

I'm not too sure if its all part of the grieving process or what but I'd say do whatever you and your DP are comfortable with. I know that doesn't answer your questions though.
Also sending you another

cos you can never have too many of them at this very difficult time.

**Mildez** · January 12th, 2010, 01:13 PM

Papillon I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.

As for your questions I would say go with what your body is telling you to do. If thats to act as a sex crazed woman (in your DH's words) then embrace it lol. I have to add I say that alot as a midwife (go with what your body is telling you to do) I must say I love it and its usually true (in the labour sense but I guess you can apply it to ttc or allowing nature to take its course)

Good luck with the 10/10/10. I am aiming for the 20/10/10

**BekZ** · January 12th, 2010, 01:18 PM

This happened to me after we lost our 2nd bub. I lost bub at 12 wks, I had a dandc and then 2 weeks later I felt a very strong urge to ttc. Against my doctors recommendations we dtd and I fell pg with DD2. I had a lot of cramping initally with this pregnancy and my uterus felt raw. Additionally I had a retained placenta that I am sure was caused by having such a raw uterus. My doctor can't tell if my theory is right or wrong, but she believes it is possible. In saying all of this we got our beautiful baby girl in the end.

Hugs and all the best

**Babytalk** · January 12th, 2010, 01:46 PM

I say definately go for it. If that is what your body is saying go for it, as for the 10/10/10 as soon as I read that I had a so called sign, sounds weird I know but I think if you want to try then go for you, I think you will be pleasantly suprised. Goodluck darl let us know how things go.

**Papillon** · January 14th, 2010, 01:05 PM

thanks guys... (hugs)

We aeeing how it goes. I have ovulated today... so we will see! he he he

Babytalk, what is a "so called sign?" .... that date is just so good! Hmmmm guess we can only hope!

xo

**Papillon** · January 27th, 2010, 09:02 AM

WOW.. well... without even really trying (we stopped DTD 2 days before i O's, and refrained 2 days after) because we just couldnt decide 100% if we wanted to or not.. you know if we were ready?!, looks like all those times before we stopped did the trick. Got a BFP yesterday. So, we have a 10/10/10 bubba growing inside!

I am just too scared to be happy, but then feel horrible for not being happy... guilty even.... wow, this is hard. Maybe we should have waited. Ahh well.. doesnt matter.... back of my head i keep thinking we are likely to loose this one too anyways......

Guess time will tell....

but, just a little bit of

**Jahzara** · January 27th, 2010, 09:15 AM

Oh Papillon !

Congratulations !

I was coming in here to say that we are/have been going through the same thing....i totally understand !

Awesome news - i wish you all the best and i will send you heaps of

and

and

xoxoxo

**JCE0810** · January 27th, 2010, 10:14 AM

congratulations!!!!!!

wishiny you a H&H pregnancy

**Babytalk** · January 27th, 2010, 10:31 AM

OH my goodness!!!! I told you I had a sign, LOl that is fatastic news congratulations. Now no negative thoughts, keep them all possitive and remember we are all her for support if you need it.

**BekZ** · January 27th, 2010, 10:51 AM

I am just too scared to be happy, but then feel horrible for not being happy... guilty even.... wow, this is hard. Maybe we should have waited. Ahh well.. doesnt matter.... back of my head i keep thinking we are likely to loose this one too anyways......

Guess time will tell....

but, just a little bit of

I felt this way when we got our bfp for dd2. Although I just knew all was going to be ok. All the best for a wonderful pregnancy.