At my witts end

[BekZ]

Hi Everyone,

DD 6 months is just so hard to get down to sleep. I can't get her into any sort of pattern. Some days I try and try for hours to get her down for a sleep. Some times she will go 9 hours without a sleep. Then at night she goes down anywhere between 8pm and 10pm then she feeds 3 times over night.

I am really lost as to what to do. Most times she feeds to sleep but as soon as I move her back to her cot she is awake and smiling etc. I look for tired signs and then put her to bed but as soon as she see the cot she is arching her back and making a big fuss.

My other 2 girls don't help either but bursting into the room whilst I am trying to settle.

Help me please. I am exhausted and a very cranky, teary mumma.

[Fleur]

Bek.
Will she lie down with you? I know it's not a long term solution, but if it lets you both get a bit of rest initially, it might be easier to sort out a long term plan; she might be easier to settle if she's not overtired?

[onthefly]

It can be really hard at that age (what am I saying? It can be hard at any age!)

Anyway, this is our story, maybe there's something here that can help

In the early months DS was very unsettled and hardly slept. From 4-5.5 months, however, things were very good after working through strategies in no cry sleep solution.
But, just before 6 months, this went completely out the window. We spent the next 6-7 weeks in a constant battle with DS to try to get him to sleep.
What helped...?
First, we gave up battling. If it wasnt' workign after 15 minutes or so, we gave up. no matter how tired he was.
I stopped counting his hours of sleep and number of wakeups.
Instead of waiting for tired signs, I waited for signs of complete exhaustion (it was only then that he'd give in to sleep)
We gave up on the cot and started sleeping him on a mattress on the floor. At first one of us would sleep with him, then he slept alone there.

I think our problems at this age were mostly due to separation anxiety. and also I guess he didnt' like the cot.

Good luck!

ETA - co-sleeping and/or slings could be a lifesaver in the short term

[Spring Angel]

Oh hun it sucks doesn't it. O was such a terrible sleeper so I can sympathise.

I agree 100% will Marcellus, give up watching the clock, it will just drive you insane. If she doesn't go to sleep within 20 or so give up, and try again later.

I really don't have any other advice, it sounds like you are trying everything. TBH O didn't even begin to sleep through until 12 months and now he takes himself to bed without any drama at all.

I know it is a long road but stick with it hun and before long I'm sure she will start sleeping longer patches.

HTH
Spring

[BekZ]

Thanks ladies. I have tried to go with the flow but I am scared that I am not setting up good sleeping habits for her because I seem to be fumbling with how I put her to sleep. Does that make sense? I am also worried that she is getting overtired.

[Tinsel]

Bek honey

After me boasting about my two nights of sleeping through, Miss A was up 4 times last night! She has gone back to wanting to be cuddled to sleep (since DH had 6 weeks off he started doing it again grrrr) and cracks it hysterically if I dare put her in the cot without her being asleep first.

I get cranky when Miss M runs into the room demanding a cuddle just when MIss A is about to fall asleep

I too feel like I am introducing bad sleeping habits but Miss M co-slept with me, liked a cuddle to sleep and cat napped at that age but she is a great sleeper in her own bed now so I have hope that it will be ok in the end.

Hmmm, went on a bit of a tangent there, but just wanted to give you a hug and tell you to hang in there. I know you are probably trying everything. Miss A is getting harder to tell when she is tired as she doesn't always show me that she is tired so I keep a bit of an eye on the clock and try and put her down 1.5 hours after she has woken. It's hard but it will get better.

[sloane]

bek

i dunno if this would work for you (esp with your two other DDs to worry about) but the only way i can get corey to sleep is to feed him to sleep & then put him down on our bed. now before naps & bedtime i feed him sitting on our bed instead of on the couch which is where i normally feed. every time i try & put him in the cot, he wakes up - either playtime or crying. this way i can lie next to him for a minute & then leave (or go back to sleep) & he stays (mostly) asleep.

i was having to try feeding 3 or 4 times each time he was tired to get him to sleep but i have noticed that in the last couple of weeks he will mostly go first go so don't know if they change a bit around this age?

[mbear]

oh hon...

i would loose it i reckon if my girls zoomed into the room whilst i was putting H to sleep. Call me a mean mummy, but if my girls did that, they would be in trouble - its naughty, they are being disruptive and for me,they have to be taught the rights and wrongs. We play a lil game when im about to put H to sleep now...i get the girls to wave to H...H pretends to wave back.I ask the girls 'what does it mean when H is going to sleep?' - they all reply back (sometimes rolling their eyes.....) "Quiet"....they know, when i go into that room and shut the door, its quiet time. I will put DOra on for them, send them out on the decking, lock the gate so they cant go far and give them morning tea, or give them a snack inside....i make sure they're occupied for the 5-7 mins im in that room....
As for Miss E....do you follow the same routine when it is nap time?...at 6mths she would be pretty knowing....H is still in with us...i will lay him on our bed, (sneak a few kisses.....) wrap him up, cuddle him for a bit, give him boob, then burp him, then put him in cot (he's wide awake), turn mobile on, walk out. I will hear screaming (more the playful kind), sometimes crying...but i dont go in till hes hysterical..which i would prob say hasnt been more than 3 times in his life.
At 6 mths...i would be looking at her after 2-2.5 hrs of being up and maybe thinking of fputting her to bed....

as soon as she see the cot she

...have you thought of introducing a blankie ?? something to comfort her....she obviously knows when u get put in the cot, mummy goes away.....
Im just thinking (and writing) out aloud....
FWIW DD#3 was much like your Eva putting to bed. Many a days i was in tears to my DH. ONly way to get her to sleep was for her to lie on our bed, me b/f her to sleep, and then i woudl creep out of the room....ever, ever so slowly.....i used to think the same ' my god, im going to be doign this when shes 3 yrs old !!'. But you know what, now, i put her in at 7pm , and dont see her till 7am. So seriously, little E has only been on this planet for 6 mths...dont expect to much from her. She's gotta a whole lotta nights left in her life to get it right...i know its hard on mumma, but maybe getting the older two to be a bit quiet (hey, E probably wants to join in the fun !!!!) and maybe getting a strict routine happeing for E, you may see results...
Oh, and for what its worth, im still up 3 times a night too...last night was a goodie...only twice .......
Big hugs....

[BekZ]

Bek honey

Miss A is getting harder to tell when she is tired as she doesn't always show me that she is tired so I keep a bit of an eye on the clock and try and put her down 1.5 hours after she has woken. It's hard but it will get better.

Tinsel - Maybe I am letting Eva go too long between sleeps and she is getting over tired. BTW I hope Miss A goes back to her long overnight sleeps for you.

bek

i dunno if this would work for you (esp with your two other DDs to worry about) but the only way i can get corey to sleep is to feed him to sleep & then put him down on our bed. now before naps & bedtime i feed him sitting on our bed instead of on the couch which is where i normally feed. every time i try & put him in the cot, he wakes up - either playtime or crying. this way i can lie next to him for a minute & then leave (or go back to sleep) & he stays (mostly) asleep.

i was having to try feeding 3 or 4 times each time he was tired to get him to sleep but i have noticed that in the last couple of weeks he will mostly go first go so don't know if they change a bit around this age?

Sloane - I have to feed Miss E in my room if I want her to feed properly and to induce sleep. If her sisters are around she wants to party lol. Yep I need to feed 3 or 4 times before she is ready for asleep. Although she has dropped feeds lately too.

oh hon...

i would loose it i reckon if my girls zoomed into the room whilst i was putting H to sleep. Call me a mean mummy, but if my girls did that, they would be in trouble - its naughty, they are being disruptive and for me,they have to be taught the rights and wrongs. We play a lil game when im about to put H to sleep now...i get the girls to wave to H...H pretends to wave back.I ask the girls 'what does it mean when H is going to sleep?' - they all reply back (sometimes rolling their eyes.....) "Quiet"....they know, when i go into that room and shut the door, its quiet time. I will put DOra on for them, send them out on the decking, lock the gate so they cant go far and give them morning tea, or give them a snack inside....i make sure they're occupied for the 5-7 mins im in that room....
As for Miss E....do you follow the same routine when it is nap time?...at 6mths she would be pretty knowing....H is still in with us...i will lay him on our bed, (sneak a few kisses.....) wrap him up, cuddle him for a bit, give him boob, then burp him, then put him in cot (he's wide awake), turn mobile on, walk out. I will hear screaming (more the playful kind), sometimes crying...but i dont go in till hes hysterical..which i would prob say hasnt been more than 3 times in his life.
At 6 mths...i would be looking at her after 2-2.5 hrs of being up and maybe thinking of fputting her to bed....
...have you thought of introducing a blankie ?? something to comfort her....she obviously knows when u get put in the cot, mummy goes away.....
Im just thinking (and writing) out aloud....
FWIW DD#3 was much like your Eva putting to bed. Many a days i was in tears to my DH. ONly way to get her to sleep was for her to lie on our bed, me b/f her to sleep, and then i woudl creep out of the room....ever, ever so slowly.....i used to think the same ' my god, im going to be doign this when shes 3 yrs old !!'. But you know what, now, i put her in at 7pm , and dont see her till 7am. So seriously, little E has only been on this planet for 6 mths...dont expect to much from her. She's gotta a whole lotta nights left in her life to get it right...i know its hard on mumma, but maybe getting the older two to be a bit quiet (hey, E probably wants to join in the fun !!!!) and maybe getting a strict routine happeing for E, you may see results...
Oh, and for what its worth, im still up 3 times a night too...last night was a goodie...only twice .......
Big hugs....

MBear - If I put Miss E in the cot and walk away she'll either yell out for up to an hour or just crack it. She sounds more like your DD3 and I only really get a good sleep out of her if I lay down and let her just feed to sleep. Yes you are right she is only 6 months but I guess my other girls were in some sort of a routine at this stage. I think I've got to just try a routine and if after 20 mins of trying to put her down I will abandon the mission and try again later. As for my other little cherubs I do try and make sure they are occupied but I think I really need to explain to them that I need quiet time with Eva. Thanks for the tips. oh I might try a blanky too

Another thing I have noticed is that Eva has a very strong startledreflex and she wakes herself up when in the early stages of sleep. I know swaddling would help but she hates it