Oh hun. Sending you loads of
You need your time to grieve. It will take different times for everyone. Do you have people around that you can debrief with IRL??
I really don't know what else to suggest hun, I've not been in this situation. All I can offer you is massive and eyes to read/ears to listen if you want to chat. xxxx
Hun, want to give you huge as well. When I lost Emmanuel I just wanted to be so strong for my kids but half of the time the tears would be just rolling down my face. You know what I found, kids are a lot stronger emotionally than we think.
so sorry you & your family are going through this terrible loss.When my kids saw/see me crying about my loss,i would tell themthat i was sad about the baby dying but happy i had them to hug me.I know other kids know this but i think it helped ease my guilt my voicing it a lot.Remember you have nothing to feel guilty about,your doing the best you can for your family.There is an old saying'guilt is a mother's middle name',we're to hard on ourselves somtimes.Hugs
If you are looking for someone to talk to you, the Bonnie Babes Foundation has a telephone service for those who have lost babies For Bonnie Babes grief counselling call: 1300 266 643.
Jodie, it's not about putting them through it. It's about you grieving for as long as you need to, and your kids will unreservedly understand and accept this. Just because they are kids adn don't grieve like you do as a mother, doesn't mean it will be harmful to them to experience what hardcore grief is like. You're a great mother, and you just need to do what you can to deal with this. Your kids won't be harmed or any less than they already are no matter how long you feel this way.
Please try not to burden yourself with this. They'll be fine.
Last edited by slyder; February 4th, 2010 at 08:14 AM.
: removing sig
Jodie, just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through. You are not dragging your kids backwards - they are not going to grieve the same as their mum - I don't think it means they've moved on and you haven't. In a way, your grief shows them how much you love them too when you think about it. It might be good to talk about it with a counselor too though.
Take care and be kind to yourself - your grief is very real and it is a big loss to deal with and it will take time.
Your other children are probably sad because of your loss! It's ok for you to grieve naturally, you don't need to feel bad for that. Instead of hiding your sadness from them, include them in it, let them grieve too. They're more likely to be worried aobut you if you're behaving strangely - hiding tears is gonna worry them ykwim? But if you say "I feel sad, let's sit on the couch together and have tea" and then you all hug and cry that's perfectly ok.
Lots of love to you xxxxxxx Feelings are just feelings, repressing them is harmful, feeling them is hard, but it's the only way to get through them.
PB I am really sorry you and your family are going through this terrible loss . Sorry I don't have advice but I wanted to let you know your in my thoughts and prayers.
Rach xx
as a mother our job of teaching our children about life never ends. Today you are teaching your kids about loss and grief. You are showing them that it is a long process with no clear guidelines. That its ok to feel sad, to cry, to get angry and get confused! All I would say is make sure you extend that teaching to include the fact that family support each other at these times. That its a time to be honest and share how we are feeling and not to hid in our room and shut ourselves off. You made this child as part of a family, mourn the loss as a family.
BellyBelly Member
How do I stop putting the kids through this???
and eyes to read/ears to listen if you want to chat. xxxx
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