How old was your youngest before you finally had some time for "you"

[skeetaboat]

Maybe this should go in the parenting debriefing, I dunno.

Just wondering when and how (and if!) you got a break in the relentless duties of motherhood. You know, an afternoon to go out for coffee and cake with a friend (or even just half an hour to sit down and think about ORGANISING something with a friend, to start with); a restaurant meal with your partner; time to go to the gym or get some new clothes; that sort of thing...

I have just been feeling so tired and ****ty and run down.. please tell me it gets better. I'm pretty much on call from 6:30-7am and don't get a break until 9:30-10pm. And then there are the overnight feeds. I know it's the same for everyone in my boat (toddler & 5 month old baby), but I just feel like I'm not coping. In the last couple of days I can barely muster up the energy to rock the baby to sleep and I constantly think about running away just to get some peace and effing quiet. I feel so uptight and angry.

I'm desperate for some time alone. The only time I get to myself is half an hour or so between the time everyone goes to bed and the time I go to bed myself, and by then I'm exhausted and tense. Any time I leave the house for more than 45 minutes the baby screams the house down. Sometimes I feel like just walking out, I really do.

Please tell me it gets easier.

ETA: I'd come back! I meant walking out for like a weekend. I love my family dearly, I'm just dying for some time alone, to sit, to relax, to collect my thoughts.

[SweetPea]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, just wanted to let you know that I know exactly how you feel and things will get better!! My boys were 17 months apart and it was tough for around the first 10 months. I have found that since DS2 started walking (he was an early walker at 9 months) things got easier, and then got easier again once he dropped to one sleep, he's now 16 months old and is starting to play with DS1, very cute watching them interact and play together. I'm having lots of fun with them now and I think my husband and I are coping quite well now, I go to the gym twice a week and he gets time to himself a couple of times a week. Those early months are hard, I just kept telling myself that it won't last forever! I know it can be hard but it is worth the effort to try and get out and have sometime to yourself, even to just get to the shops without having to set up stroller etc. I'm with you on needing alone time, unfortunately it's always when the boys are in bed, lucky I'm a night owl!

[Fleur]

It gets easier

It really does. I didn't even notice it happening...all of a sudden I was PG again & thought damn! there goes my me time!

I am finding it easier this time around exactly because I know it gets better.
i don't know if it helps to hear that ... I hope so

Have you got family or friends who can give you some time out?

[skeetaboat]

I've lost most of my friendships (due to not having enough "me" time to maintain them since I became a mother). The ones I've kept in contact with have dwindled to the point that I couldn't ask for a babysitting favour, they don't know my kids very well at all so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them with someone they don't know. I guess that shows they weren't great friendships to begin with.. it probably contributes to me feeling down & lonely (but never ALONE!!!!!!!)

I do have family but I use a lot of assistance from them in order to work (from home). Plus there's the 40 minute time limit that the baby seems to have whenever I go out, before becoming inconsolable.. by the time I drive somewhere, park, etc, I get the phone call to come back. DH will take them sometimes but yeah, it's usually 40 mins. Maybe I should just try take a walk around the block every second night. I know exercise definitely helps with stress and overall physical and mental health.

Thanks Jasp and Sweatpea.. it does help to know that it gets better. Knowing that the kids start amusing each other and playing together in the future helps too. I guess I've just gotta hang in there.

Sometimes I just wanna SCREAM! Yesterday that grew from an urge into uncontrollable behaviour. It was horrible to feel so out of control. Today is better than yesterday, so that's a start.