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thread: Most traumatic experience of my life

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    8

    Most traumatic experience of my life

    My ovulation was late this month. Nice donor who lives a long way away had to go overseas just after my fertile period was supposed to have hit, and in the meantime, one of our defaulting donors came back. We met up with him, he seemed nice and okay with us moving back to Australia with baby, we agreed to go ahead...

    I had two not-quite readings on my LH surge strips, then a sudden jump in temperature, and was sure I'd missed it. Cue lots of crying about how I'm too stupid to get pregnant. Two days after - positive! I swear I used more than twenty test strips this month. I now have far too intimate a relationship with my own urine.

    One-defaulting donor came over on the second day of my LH surge. The house, as usual, looked like a bomb had hit it, so I used up a day of annual leave to tidy and clean all day.

    Aaaargh aargh aargh most embarrassing situation ever! We had pizza and chatting and then, oh hell, it never occurred to us that we were supposed to provide porn. We're lesbian feminists, we don't exactly have copies of "Barely legal teens do it doggy-style" lying around! Cue awkwardest conversation ever... He went upstairs to try,and came down eventually saying it wasn't working. He borrowed the computer and printed out something, I don't want to know what, while we sat around and played Scribblenauts on the DS. Eventually he came down, quick kiss on the cheek goodbye, and we popped up to inseminate.

    I couldn't look at it. I could keep it warm in my armpit, but I couldn't look at it. My darling wife was very brave to do the syringey bit. I was so traumatised that we lay in bed singing Gilbert & Sullivan until the cat ran up and bit my hand. She hates me singing, she's such a critic.

    And now... I guess we wait. While I angst about every minor change in my body to see if it means implantation.

    Couldn't bear to wash out the syringe and cup, they went in the outside bin, so I guess we will have to buy new ones every month until I conceive...

    It only just occurred to me that I have just lost my precious reason never to have to undergo pap smears. *cries*

    With all that - we're so glad to have found a nice donor, and to be finally moving ahead.

    But I hope he brings his own porn next time.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    8,986

    That's hilarious!

    I have my fingers crossed for a BFP!! Good luck!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Mar 2010
    ChCh, NZ
    41

    I hope one time is all you need!!!!!

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    Brisbane
    13

    Good luck Lindley
    Let's hope there's no need for the embarrassing trip to the shop to buy porn

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Feb 2010
    Brisbane
    13

    that smiley was meant to look surprised, not angry.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    1,973

    fingers crossed

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Feb 2006
    Newcastle, NSW
    4,219

    Sorry but I had a bit of a giggle!

    Wishing you all the best. I hope first time's a charm

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    1,431

    Too funny, hun! Best of luck, hope you're up the duff!!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    May 2009
    Adelaide
    201

    Hehehe it's all a bit on the ikky side isn't it! Good luck, hope to hear of a BFP soon!!

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    Melbourne
    4,031

    Good luck...hope you get a first time round.
    I had a bit of giggle too, it's a story that's quite close to home at the moment!

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Apr 2008
    Melbourne
    6,745

    I hope it works!! Sorry I had a giggle too (it wouldn't have occurred to me to supply the porn either)

  12. #12
    Senior Moderator

    Nov 2004
    Chickens.
    4,989

    Wishing you all the best!

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Forster NSW
    1,444

    I too have to admit I had a bit of a giggle.
    GL with it all, I hope they're great swimmers and you get your BFP first time round!!!
    Not long until testing now, Iook forward to hearing the result!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    1,163

    I'm holding my fingers crossed for you after having to go through that! I really hope this next bit of time goes quickly for you.

    All I can say for your story is - thank heavens for internet porn and if it all works out with a little one, you will always have Gilbert and Sullivan to sing to them

    Good Luck!

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    1,350

    I am sending you my best wishes, and have to add, it is really interesting to read your story and what emotions your going through. Well written

    I am curious as to why you didn't need to have Pap's until now ?

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    in the garden
    3,767

    I too had a chuckle Fingers crossed for you that it works!

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jul 2007
    Melbourne
    867

    This is the funniest story I've heard for a while....

    Maybe if this doesn't work (fingers crossed it will) next time you'll have to add BYOP (bring your own porn) to the fine print!!!!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    May 2008
    Country VIC
    381

    Just think, if you have a boy you will have to deal with willies and all their idioscyncracies for the rest of your lives!
    Love the story girls, friends of ours were laughing so hard during their first insem that the sperm kept shooting out of her halfway across the bed and they had to 'scoop' it up and put it back in

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