Age Gap - Experiences / opinions please?

[Shar]

Hey All
I am after a honest account / pro's and cons from those who ar ein the following situation or have been previously.

I have a 14 yo boy who I had unplanned at 20 but is just my angel that was supposed to be with me.
We then waited 8 years to be ready for number 2, my 'princess' who is now 6yo and we have just been blessed again with my bubba boy who is 4 weeks old.

I really want to have one more but really don't have time on my side to wait for another gap and after years of saying I wouldn't want two close together I think I do now.

We are discussing having another one soon, like very soon, starting to try again nowish or within the next month.
A little more info, my new bub is the only bub I have been able to be a stay at home mum, this is something I have craved from the time I had number 1 14 years ago, so you see this is the ideal time for me to focus fully and 110% percent on my family and not be juggling work etc.

What I am after here is advice / opinions and experiences from those who are in the situation with 2 under 12 months (this is the reality if I fell in the first 3 months of trying) or have been in that situation with their kids in the past.

How hard is it having teo babies?
Did they grow up close to each other?
What are the pro's and con's?

etc etc

Thanks in advance

[Just Me]

Hi Shar

I haven't had 2 babies that are both under 12 months, but my DS was born when my DD was 12.5 months old and I love having them close!!! I think that there are different issues with every age gap - good points and bad, but I love this age gap. My third child is only 15 months younger than my second and I haven't had many issues.

DS and DD1 are great friends and play together really well. I didn't have a lot of issues feeding DS when DD was little because she was too little to be in everything. We didn't have any jealousy issues when we brought DS home from the hospital (but they did show up in small ways a bit later on but still nothing major). I have done some of their toilet training together.

The things I find difficult is going out because it takes a long time to get them in and out of the car and I always have to have a pram for at least one of them when I am on my own because if they get tired I can't carry them both. Really minor stuff.

I think the biggest hurdle I had with having my babies close together is that I didn't ovulate while I was bfing (I don't know if you are bfing or not) so getting pg straight away with another is hard. I had to give up bfing DD1 when she was 3 months old as my milk had dried up and she lost a lot of weight before I realised. I fell pg nearly straight away. With DS I bf him until he was 5 months old but it ended in a similar way to DD1. I fell pg about 2 months later. I am still bfing DD2 and have not ovulated yet so I am still unable to get pg again.

Anyway, I hope all that info helps

[Lulu]

I found it terribly hard having 2 under 2. However I did fall preg when DS was 5 months old (surprise!) and was pretty concerned at how I would cope.

My MCHN said at the time that it might not be as bad as I thought because the eldest baby doesn't get as jealous of the new baby because it's like the baby was always there and that always stuck with me.
I *think chances of them being friends is better because they are so close in age.

HTH

[Toomanytoomany]

I think you learn to deal with the gap you have, and there are pros and cons to each.

I had my first two fourteen months apart, and there were issues with tiredness being hugely pregnant with a baby to look after. But they both were having afternoon sleeps together for ages, and grew up very close. It was also relatively easy that they started school closely together.

The next gap was nearly seven years, and that was lovely too - it was hard work because I'd forgotten what it was like having a new baby! And I didn't get the rest, and there was a huge disparity of ages and needs. But the older kids could help me with the baby and it was special to watch the relationship grow between an older child and a sibling. (I wish I could say there was less rivalry but there wasn't.)

At the moment, I have a spread of six kids from twenty down to eleven months, and what I find hardest is that a) I have to meet a vast range of needs for many very different characters. That is true for any large family, but the age disparity makes it harder. And b) my eldest kids will not live as closely with their youngest siblings. My eldest daughter doesn't really know her little brother, and that makes me very sad.