Tantrums almost daily

[krisp]

Hi ladies,

I have a very "spirited" 4 y.o son. He is constantly yelling and shouting and he has now started tantrums every morning over what he will wear that day. Sometimes I stand firm (like this morning) and he gets himself so worked up he is totally hysterical. I thought I did the right thing and gave him 2 choices of clothes but no he wanted the shirt that was wet on the line. It was really awful and I ended up yelling back and then my DD started crying and I felt like the most beastly Mummy in the world. His behaviour is becoming worse and worse and some days I feel like I can't cope anymore and just want to get in my car and drive away.

Any suggestions? I've tried "the naughty chair", tried taking away his toys, tried rewards for good behaviour...the list goes on and on.

I'm desperate....

[[M]umma[M]ia]

Maybe start thinking about the food hes having? Additives, colours and preservatives can send some kids choppo.. HTH

[Nelle]

I recently reflected on my parenting after reading an article (can't remember what sorry!) and decided that my DS(3.5) wasn't getting enough proactive positive reinforcement from me, mostly I was reactive - so I made the effort to randomly go find him and say he was playing well and sit and play with him, or go find him and say 'hey do you want to read a book'? He was a bit bewildered a first (to my shame ) but we seem to have less tantrums these days. If he seems to be losing control more often I reassess and try to focus on him more again.

Could you keep a notebook of when he's tantrumming? Maybe you'll notice cues, it could even be something simple like he's hungry or tired or thirsty? (one of mine used to be feral, I'd give him a drink and he'd be fine. Weird)

If it keeps up though, maybe you could ask for a referral to a paed or an occupational therapist - I've heard OT's can be great for helping find strategies for kids to stay calm.

[skybie]

every night when i go to bed i tell DF that i would like just ONE day to be tantrum free!!
DD1 will have about 5-6 full on tanties a day about minimal things!
her diet is very good so there was nothing we could really cut out except for juice. we've recently stopped letting her watch cartoons in the morning and that seems to have made a big difference

[kirsty_lee]

every night when i go to bed i tell DF that i would like just ONE day to be tantrum free!!
DD1 will have about 5-6 full on tanties a day about minimal things!
her diet is very good so there was nothing we could really cut out except for juice. we've recently stopped letting her watch cartoons in the morning and that seems to have made a big difference

Oh i am so glad I am not the only one saying that skybie!!! its hard work this mummy business

[krisp]

Thanks Nelle, I'll try the positive reinforcement approach. I'm desperate to help him be a calm happy little fellow. He's just so highly strung and emotional I'm at a bit of a loss. And, weirdly most of his outburts are about clothes - perhaps he's going to be the next Alex Perry when he grows up. A funny little story - we went out to a party last weekend and when I came downstairs he said "cool dress Mummy, you look beautiful". He's a precious little thing!