Opinions please

[Sterla]

So, back in 2004 I started a Bachelor of Education (BEd) degree at UTas. I did two years (it's a four year course) before deciding that being a teacher really wasn't my calling. I dropped out of my BEd and went into a Bachelor of Arts (BA) degree, and managed to get some credit from my BEd towards my BA. I plodded along for a few years, did Psychology, English and Sociology (some of which I'd already done as electives in my BEd).
I was fine my first year into my BA, but in the second year (2007) I struggled a bit. I've always received pretty good grades (usually distinctions and high distinctions), but I struggled with motivation. I had no idea what I was aiming for at the end of my degree and ended up sort of 'freezing' when it came to doing my assignments. As a result I ended up dropping out of a few units (and receiving a fail ). In 2008 I managed to get myself back into my studies again - completed 3 units first semester. I fell pregnant May 2008, so I decided to just do 1 unit in the second semester.
I took all of 2009 off from uni to be a full time SAHM to my gorgeous DS with plans of going back part time 2010 to complete the 4 units I have left to finish my degree.
I enrolled in one unit this year to study from home, but I could never find the time (or motivation TBH) to start and I ended up withdrawing before I was penalised.

So, now here I am wondering what on earth I should do. I have 4 units left, but very little motivation to do them. Right now I'm just loving being a SAHM, and DH and plan to start TTC #2 sometime this year. I honestly can't see myself finding any motivation to study any time soon, let alone having the time to do them. I could put DS in care for a day a week or something, but we don't really have the spare $$$, and we have no one who can look after him through the day... (and TBH I'm not keen on the idea anyway).

I guess I feel like if I don't go back and finish these last 4 soon, I never will - but I really don't want to right now. Also, I have no idea what I want to do with degree when I finish (never have), which gives me even less incentive to go back.

Sorry for the long-winded way of saying all this. I'm just after some opinions to help me think things over.

[Beautitude]

Its a tough one. I finished a bachelor or behavioural science back in 2005, it took me an extra 6 months than it should have as my dad was sick and dying of cancer so i took it a bit slower but finished it none the less. I was the same thinking why on earth am i doing this degree. It really did nothing for me as i never got a job using my degree and have pretty much forgotten all the psych and sociology i slaved over for those 3.5 years. To this day i think i should have just done the nursing or teaching degree i initially wanted to do as such a broad degree really did nothing for my job prospects.

However.... im very proud of myself for finishing the degree and i love that very expensive piece of paper that hangs on my wall lol. I think for me i believe in education so highly and have always wanted to go to uni and think that with ds having two parents with university educations it will urge him to continue his studies and be everything he can be.

Since ds was born i have thought about going back to uni and completing another degree but as you say i just dont know how to work it out with ds. I think it is really hard and now with #2 on the way that idea is on hold for awhile but i think i will revisit it at the end of the year.

Not much help i know as i never studied with a little one but thats just my thoughts on my uni experience.

[Arimeh]

Do you think it might help if you switched to another course? One that you are passionate about? Maybe you just don't have the motivation and inclination to finish it because you're just not interested in following that career path anymore?

I say look at what interests you - nobody says that you have to finish a course if you don't feel like it, if you want to stay home and have babies - then thats ok mate. You don't have to go to uni to feel accomplished and like you have done something in your life - you've made a gorgeous baby boy, you're a fantastic mother, and a stay at home mum to him - and thats more than some people get a chance at doing

I'd say just put it off, have your babies - and then rethink.

Oh - but if you DO go back to study, you know I would be more than happy to look after O for you during the day If you trust me of course.. haha!

[Sterla]

Thanks for your replies .

I'm pretty sure I don't really want to go back to finish the units - they are all English which I really don't enjoy. My two majors were Sociology and English, and I've finished all my Sociology units. Maybe if I had sociology units to go back to I might be a bit more motivated, lol.

A big part of my thought process is about disappointment. I feel I'll disappoint a few people, (mainly my parents) by dropping out. Growing up I was always told how smart I was, so it was just automatic for me to feel I should go to uni. I feel like my parents will say (or think) that I'm wasting all this potential, etc.
On top of that there is the thousands and thousands of dollars of debt sitting there. I feel like I should get something for it, and if I don't finish I won't. DH and I have no way of paying it off any time soon too.
I wonder also if DH might just be a bit annoyed about it. He's always so stressed about money, so having all that debt and not being able to pay it off anytime soon (especially since I probably won't be working for many years).

I'd be happiest just to be a SAHM and have lots and lots of babies, lol - but there is so much more to think about. I'd love it if a job or career jumped out at me one day where I could say "That - that is what I want to be" - but for now being a mum is all I really want.

[Arimeh]

but for now being a mum is all I really want.

And thats ok

I know I would rather DH do something he was passionate about, not just because he was afraid of disappointing me for not completing it. Seriously, if your passion is not there, its going to be something you regret - do you want to regret it? You've learnt something from it, even if you can't use it NOW, you may be able to use that knowledge in another job - even if you can't see it yet.

I say life is short - live it the way YOU want, and stop focusing on other people. If your DH is worried about it (which, knowing him, I'm sure he's not that worried, he would be more focused on YOU being happy and fulfilled) then talk to him about it, instead of assuming what he might be thinking. You never know - he might surprise you

(All this was said with love, and not a stern tone like it reads - ya know I luv ya xxx)

PS. I did 2 years of law, and my mum is still disappointed that I'm not continuing and becoming a solicitor - but its not where my passion is. So I *get* that disappointment bit, because I feel it all the time from my mum. However, she's not living my life - I am, and I refuse to do something I don't want to do just to make someone else happy. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself as number one xxx

[mir]

If you dont want to do anything with your degree then there is nothing wrong with that being a mum is just as important as any other career choice.

The only thing i would offer would be that it is worth finding out if there is a time limit on when you can complete your degree re hecs.
If there is seeing as you only have 4 units to go the advice that i would have is to finish them within that time limit. There are lots of things you can do with an arts degree and i've found that alot of them have nothing to do with the units youve studied. For example if youve studied english you might head towards a career that requires excellent written and vocal communication skills.

[skeetaboat]

Speaking on behalf of future Mir & Just to offer a different perspective, it may be worth finishing, because then, when you *do* know what you want to do, you can do a masters (within reason, some masters require a certain undergrad qual), and that's a shorter path (1.5-2 years) than starting a whole new degree (3-4 years). Something to think about. I would give some consideration to the future and check out what pathways this bachelor can offer you. I second checking out how long you have to complete. And in the end, whatever you decide, don't feel guilty. There's nothing wrong with living your life in the way that makes YOU happy, whatever way that is.

[surprised]

I had a few false starts with uni and can very much relate to everyone's stories. In the end I spent 6 years there and did 2 degrees, both of which are fairly useless! But it does give me immense satisfaction knowing that I finished them, even when it was very difficult. It's a really good point about postgrad study - I have heaps and heaps of options open to me now in terms of future study and career options, because I have finished a degree. In the scheme of things, 4 subjects isn't a huge amount - could you do them one at a time over the next couple of years? That way, uni isn't the 'main thing' in your life, and you are just chomping away at it all?

But in the end you're the one who has to live with your decision, so it's all totally up to you - best of luck with working out what you want hun.