Epic fail

[Fleur]

Bleh. I can't even type it. I got half way through the 'long' version.... I can't do it.

Short version is, had an argument with teen DD, lost my temper when she told me to 'get f***ed', slapped her on the bum, went to confiscate her phone, she tried to follow me to stop me, DH restrained her, she stormed outside, ripped the front screen door completely off the hinges, DH stormed out after her, grabbed her & literally hauled her back towards the unit, (by which point we have an audience out there) and they are yelling at each other out the front, he trying to get her in, her trying to get away & take off, when I got there I took hold of her so DH could move away...she yelled at me 'Let me go, I will hit you' and I just looked at her & said 'I don't care'...she ended up inside, I can hear her in her room bashing around (sounds like she's packing) and I am sititng here shaking, totally don't know what to do, narrowly avoided an argument with DH for suggesting that he shouldn't go after her like that, worrying about what she will do now - I don't want to go to sleep until she does, thinking about what I should have done differently. I have scratches & bruises where she grabbed me & I can't let DH see them cause that will make it worse. Wondering if we will end up being reported or something and if we will be asked to leave.

And the other day I was thinking about how proud I am of her, how awesome she is & we have totally turned a corner

I have NOOOO idea what to do now. Somebody please fast-forward the next few years.

[Olive]

darl, i hope a good nights sleep will calm things down for you all

[Epacris]

Oh darling! Sending you strength, calm and warmth to get through this. Please trust in yourself as a parent and a person. Teenager's brains do such weird things. I hope everything settles down soon. Thinking of you.

[ss_storm]

big squishy

A good night's sleep does wonders...maybe try talking to her once you've all calmed down. She probably wishes she hadn't made such a scene...

[LimeSlice]

Dad had to call the cops once because mum and I were at it...I was about the same age. And I felt like crap for ages about and hour after it happened.

I hope things calm down for you all very soon. xox

[Footsteps]

i hope it calms down for you huni. huge hugs xox

[deletedit]

And I thought my doorslamming arguments with DD#1 were bad O_o

I think Rapunzel's parents had the right idea. Lock em in a tower during puberty and let them out when they're done. Just make sure they get regular haircuts or the boyfriend will still manage to sneak in at night.

[AnyDream]

Ah sweetie big hugs. Sometime all the swirling emotion just gets too much to handle.

Here's what I would do. Find a time to sit down and look her in the eyes and tell her how much you love her. No matter what. Full stop, no qualifications. That's what matters more than anything else. xxx

[*Beema*]

I hope you got through the night ok hun, I am so sorry to hear that you have cuts and bruises as well, but can't show your DH

Look after yourself hun, and I hope she sees a better way to communicate

Take care xxoo

[Heaven]

Oh hope everything is ok.

[Fleur]

Thank you all for listening
Things have calmed down, the worst of it blew over as fast as it blew up but still a lot of tension and anger in the air. I will have to find a way to get rid of it, it's really not pleasant.

I think Rapunzel's parents had the right idea. Lock em in a tower during puberty and let them out when they're done. Just make sure they get regular haircuts or the boyfriend will still manage to sneak in at night.

Lol...now there's an idea....

Here's what I would do. Find a time to sit down and look her in the eyes and tell her how much you love her. No matter what. Full stop, no qualifications. That's what matters more than anything else. xxx

Yup, definitely. I guess if we can't stop being angry I will just have to do it anyway. It IS important.

Limeslice, thanks for sharing made me feel a bit more normal! I was waiting after & wondering if anyone would call the police

Thanks again guys for the hugs, boy do I need it

[Fleur]

Arghhhhh...it's neverending.

I went & gave her a hug & she burst into tears & said 'sorry'

Then yesterday we had another blow-up, this time over money....

*sigh* 'this too shall pass'....it will, won't it? I keep thinking of those who have 'been there, done that' (LimeSlice )and it gives me hope

[ss_storm]

maybe only for the next 3 or 4 years...

At least you will be prepared for the next ones to hit the teenage years?
It probably has a lot to do with her hormones rather than the 'issue' itself, I still fly off the handle sometimes for no good reason. Can you two go out by yourselves for a couple of hours a week to help reconnect, without the distraction of the other kids?

[*Beema*]

Are you able to organise a girls day, afternoon or something like that, where you go shopping or out for coffee/hot chocolate, something where she feels particularly special?

I am so glad you have hope from mothers who have been through it before, thinking of you take care and I hope you don't have to experience too many more big blow ups xxoo

[Lulu]

Hey girl - it can be pretty awful some days..

My DD1 is nearly 18 and a few years ago I was in here all the time, I went hunting for an old thread but there were so many I thought I would just direct you to the Teenager General Discussion section.

Even the older threads are interesting so have a hunt around xoxoxo

[Fleur]

Storm, ITA about the hormones, I was pretty awful while I was PG with the girls (boys don't do the same to me for some reason ). Her counsellor has also suggested a herbal supplement which kind of regulates things. I have to track it down & try it...

Beema, we did the shopping trip this morning for the hairpiece...I was dreading it actually but it went ok, it was cheaper than I thought so there were no blow-ups over money. She wanted a long frilly one but I called her instructor & let the two of them hash it out, so not my problem...I just pay for it
And we did have a chance to have a bit of a look around & re-connect so was good.

Lulu I have just read your 'Princess Diaries ' thread and boy oh boy does that sound familiar.... *sigh* but it gets better, right?

Thanks for listening guys