Am I to blame or is my 2.5 year old son just not ready yet??

[Tascha]

Hello,

All the toddlers around me are toilet trained. My niece is only 1 month older than my son and she is nappy free day and night. Now I KNOW boys are SUPPOSED to be slower at this..but im over hearing how boys are supposed to be slower than girls. Sorry, but thus far he's proved those theories wrong. So im over listening to them. I also have little boys the same age in my social circle and they are doing great!
Ive tried all sorts of methods recommended. But every day he reacts differently. Have I missed something... or am I not persistent?? What worked for you?? What was the age?? DO I wait for him to show me more interest... or do I keep at it???

Im sick of double the nappies!!! HELP

[skybie]

you arent to blame hun! it just sounds like he isnt ready yet.
DD1 was over 3 by the time she stopped wearing nappies during the day and she still wears a nappy to bed!
its not really something u should push, once u push it stops being fun and starts causing anxiety and stress on them.
dont worry he wont be in nappies when he's 10, let him do it when he's ready
xxx

[Pandora]

Boys generally are slower.
I have two and I got tired of hearing it too, esp as ds1 did most things early apart from tt.
He was close to 3 when he was tt in the day and while it took a long time for him to be ready, when he was ready it all hapened very fast.
He's only just starting to be dry at night, ( at four and a half) he's 12 nights dry from 15 and that happened very suddenly as well.

[boobaloo]

i agree with skybie, let him do it at his own pace
my ds is 3.5, and i still struggle to get him to poo in the toilet,
but i figure he'll get it at some point, even if i do feel like bashing my head against a wall at the moment!

[maz]

DS1 TTed himself at 2years 4 months old...over night
DS2 TTed himself at 4years and 1 month
DD1 TTed herself at 25months
DS3 is 2 1/2 and there is no way he is ready to TT.

Im not into pushing my kids into it....I tried with DS2 and it back fired and look how old he was when he eventually TTed.
I wait until they show an interest in their 'bits' and then i casually pop a potty in the bathroom/toilet when I go to see what happens.
I let them sit on the potty/toilet with their nappy on so they arent affraid of it and then they were cosy with it, I showed then to sit on it with taking their pants of.

What works for me wont neccessary work for you. Every child is differnet and I think there is way to much pressure put on us for our children to TT once they hit 2.

I hope tha tyou find a solution that your both comfortable with and that works well for you. Your doing a fantastic job trying everything, please dont doubt yourself

[Lisa]

I believe the best way to TT your child is to wait until they're ready to do it. I found if you try to TT before they're ready, more accidents are likely to occur.

My DS2 has been toilet trained now for almost 5 months. We've not had one night time accident and we've had 2 daytime accidents due to us 'forgetting' to take him when we've gone on longer drives.

Basically, he was really ready to TT. He took to it all so well. We had introduced him to the potty from about 16 months old but he showed no real interest in it. I am glad we waited.

[Visitor7]

I believe the best way to TT your child is to wait until they're ready to do it. I found if you try to TT before they're ready, more accidents are likely to occur.

So true! He will tt at some point in his life, but when he's ready. Not when everyone else is ready for him to. Majority of the boys I know tt at around 3-3.5yrs of age. So to me, that's the norm for a boy.
FWIW, my DD1 was tt just before her 2nd birthday, DD2 was 2 a few weeks ago and she's no where near ready. Each child is so different, they're all individual.

[chrysalis]

HI there

Firstly don't be so hard on yourself! It's very easy to look at everyone else and compare what is happening in other households but ultimately you have to run your own race and do whats good for you and your family.

Skybie's right, your little one won't be wearing nappies at 10.

If however you feel up to having another go at trying now with your son, I highly recommend the 3 day potty training e book..google and see.

We have a now 14 week old bubba and embarked on tt our then 28 month old spn using the method over the Anzac day weekend just gone. Like you we were over the two lots of nappies and huge amounts of waste! Our son was also pretty hit and miss in showing interest in going to the toilet.

Very basically it involves telling the child its time to use the potty, throwing away the nappies with his help, explaining how to do but then most importantly at least one adult shadowing the tt train for 3 days and trying to catch accidents as they happen so that as they happen the adult can try and get the toddler onto the potty/toilet so that they can finish on the potty! No night nappies or pull ups, just basically going cold turkey!

It's pretty intensive and probably a method not for everyone!

However we have been happy with the results, we had a rough week with lots of washing after we started and were most tempted to give up/go to pull ups toward the end however we persevered and our DS is now without nappies day and night, in the last 3 weeks we have had two wet beds overnight and a couple of poo accidents after he had too much fruit but thats about it!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Cheerio
Belinda

[~Serenity~]

Ds1 was 3.5 and is 6 next month and still has night nappies

He will get there in the end

[Snacks]

I SO feel your anxiety. DD was the last in her circle of peers to TT. I had also heard that boys were generally slower but the boys TT'd quicker than my girl. I was stressed out because she was quite happy to sit on the toilet but NEVER actually did anything in there. (So I couldn't even offer loads of praise etc because she just didn't get it.) Finally at 3.5 she is daytime trained (well, we still have occasional accidents but I am certain these are deliberate: her taking control of one area in her life that we can't control for her - same with eating). It wasn't until the concept really sunk in that we could encourage her further.
My advice: your DS will get there. It is hard seeing other kids do things before yours, but I'm sure there are others in your circle who have felt that way when their child was the last to sit/crawl/walk/talk etc. It's one of those things we just have to suck up as parents.
Only advice I will give is to persist with sitting on the toilet but keep it light and positive. If nothing happens, don't worry about it. A good time to sit on the toilet is right before a bath when the water's running (aparently - this didn't really make any impact on DD but I have heard this from other people).
I was super stressed out about it but my MCHN said the usual age is actually between 2.5-3.5 years old, so I would personally give your DS another year or so before I started to really worry.