Circumcision

[Antheia]

I would like to take a more gentle parenting approch this time around but i would also like for my son to be circumcised. Does this disagree with the gentle parenting rule?

[visitor2]

Tegan,

Can i ask why you want him circumcised ?

I never had Alex done and will only get him done if it's is a health reason.

[Astrolady]

Personally i would say yes, cause you are doing something that doesn't "have" to be done iykwim.

Love

[~Jo~]

I would definately agree. I dont feel circumcision is a gentle welcome to the world.

Jo

[Trillian]

I agree with the others, but if you have strong reasons for doing it then i guess you will do it anyway. I didn't get Lindsay done either.

[Astrid]

I'm with Jillian. Just because you choose circumcision does not mean that you are no longer a "gentle" parent. I was not aware that "gentle" parenting had a strict set of rules regarding this matter.

[Antheia]

The reason we want to is because we don't feel it is very hygenic not to have it done. I also feel that when older he may not be responsible enough to clean it properly. Jacob had it done and he even admitted he wouldn't want to continually clean it the way you should and feels appalled by it.

So i really don't see why it is such a bad thing? Now i feel like a bad mother for even suggesting it.

[Trillian]

Gosh Tegan, don't feel like that, you are not a bad mother for wanting to get it done. You do have your reasons for wanting it done and so be it. All we were trying to say is that it doesn't generally go hand in hand with gentle parenting, but you can still do it and still be a gentle parenter IYKWIM?

[Ambah]

You're not a bad mother for suggesting it Tegan, you have your reasons and are perfectly entitled to them. I guess its a decision that you and Jacob have to reach together.

I honestly dont think cleaning it is such a hard thing though, because all they need to do is pull back the foreskin to clean it properly (from about 4 or 5 years of age?), maybe Jacob isn't aware of how simple it still is to clean with a foreskin, because he has been circumsized himself?
But then again I am not a male LOL, so my POV probably isnt worth much either!

[Rouge]

You are certainly not a bad mother, if thats the case then we aren't gentle parents either Seth was circumcised, and he is fine We are still gentle parents as far as I am concerned and I don't really care what anyone else says LOL! You do whats right for you and your family!

*hugs*
Cailin

[visitor2]

Tegan you are not a bad mother.
It is up to you and Jacob what you want to do and no one can tell you otherwise.

I must admit we have never really spoken about it. I think we did once because DH is and he has no idea why.

[Trish]

Tegan, none of my boys are circ. Just a personal thing. I originally wanted it do ne too when I was pg with DS #1,that was until I watched a video on it. The procedure has probably changed these days though.

I don't think that the "hygiene" reason is really valid though. Alot of people use that excuse. What makes it any less clean than an uncircumsised penis?

Not having an attack at you so please don't take it personally. I have never had any problems with my boys keeping it clean. Teach them young and you don't have a problem. Besides that at a young age you should not be retracting their foreskin to clean under it anyway.

At the end of the day, go with what you are comfortable in. Do your research and know the pro's and con's before doing anything.

Goodluck in making your decision.

YAY, congrats on having a little boy too

[Sal]

Hi Tegan, just felt compelled to write something on the topic. There are no 'rules' about whether your parenting is good/bad depending on your decision on circumcision, so don't worry about if it fits in with gentle parenting.

Just have to say that hygiene is really not a reason to get it done (unless it is medically necessary eg if the foreskin never retracts). Remember, boys are born with it for a reason! And of all the reasons to get it done, 'being like daddy' seems to be one of least compelling IMHO (my DS is not circ but my DH is and DH's father isn't!). Religious grounds are something else entirely.

But like others have said, if you choose to or not, remember you'll be just as good a mother to your DS and don't worry about others judging you!

[Astrid]

Isn't there already a discussion on circumcision where all these arguments have been aired before. I thought original question was whether it was part of "gentle" parenting or not.

[Tanya]

Here is a link to a thread Kelly started
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...t=circumcision

I don't think cleaning under the foreskin is really a difficult task!!

Tanya

[Danni]

i know im not a mother, and im not a male.

but tegan i am wise enough to know that you are entitled to do whatever you want with your baby. You and jacob ar the sole decision makers and please dont let anyone tell you what you should and should not do with your children.

i hope you have enough information on hand to make up your own educated decision

[BellyBelly]

I think there is confusion with the name of these forums - we are all loving and caring parents, there is no question, but circumsicion is not generally associated with gentle parenting. You can adapt other gentle techniques from pregnancy to parenthood though, just because you don't do one that goes against the grain, it doesn't exclue you. It doesn't mean you are not a loving and caring parent if you make that choice. These forums are support for a variety of gentle techniques, you don't need to do them all.

[goldilocks]

Tegan,

This is obviously a very sensitive subject and everyone seems to have strong opinions on it!

I was very saddened to read that you've been made to feel like you're a bad mother for wanting to get it done. You are the mother of your child and you will know what's best for him.

That having been said, my DH and I are likely to have our baby circumsised if we have a boy. DH is not circumcised but always wished that he had been. It's something that we've discussed often and he's even made enquiries into having it done sometime in the near future (he's 30 this year)...that's how strongly he feels about it. He doesn't want our boy to go through the same troubles he's had so it's easier to have it done at an early age rather than in later years. It's our decision and we don't care what anyone else thinks about it.

And as to gentle parenting, what does having your child circumcised have anything to do with not being a gentle parent? Is there a book of rules which states what you can and cannot do?

BTW, congratulations on finding out you're having a little boy. How lovely for you to have one of each

Love
Goldilocks
-xxxooo-