This year has really been a sucky year for us and Dh's family.
A little over 3 months ago we said goodbye to his Nana and to a close family friend on the same day.
Our DD who is 11 yrs old was hit pretty hard as was my Dh as this was the first death he had to deal with.
Then this morning we get the phone call at 3 am that no one wants to get.
Hubby got out of bed and rushed to the hospital to be by his Dad's side as sadly he slipped away.
Now there are some slight differences and its strange.
Nana was just 3 weeks short of turning 101, she hadn't been to bad but had a fall which meant she had to move out of her house and live with her daughter.
I guess in a way as sad as it was , we knew it was coming and she did live to 100.
MY father in law was diagnosed with Leukemia at Christmas, he was given 6 months. He was doing ok up until last night when he was admitted to hospital, he sadly died in the morning. It was quick , although he was sick for so long. It feels like we had no time to be ready. We are still grieving Nana and now this.
Our DD is a mess and Im not sure how to help her or my DH ..
Let alone take time to look after the boys.
It's often that way with families that they come in a bunch. Not nice
All you can do is be there and remember the person. There's nothing worse than avoiding talking about it imo.. Maybe planting a tree in rememberance or something?
Hugs hun, this is such a terrible thing for your DD, my DD was 10 when my mum died and she was an absolute mess (and so was I) I found finding her a support person not directly involved or grieving helped, letting her talk and cry as much as she wanted.
I will ask her tomorrow what she found helped the most as she is 18 now and may be able to help you with your DD.
If you work it out, let me know - but for myself...
Sorry to hear of all your losses this year, 2010 doesn't seem to be a great year for quite a few of us
When we lost Mum the counsellors at mary potter gave us memory boxes, in which there was a pad and pen to write down feelings ane memories, there was a little booklet about children and grieving in it, a balloon (to blow up, and 'send' to the departed with happy thoughts), and a few other things. Find some great photos, or if you've kept cards from your FIL, put them all in the memory box, and whenever Miss E feels sad she can remember the happier times ;-)
Tan, I'm so sorry to hear you lost your FIL so suddenly, even though he was unwell it still sounds like such a terrible shock to you all. As much as you want to take away your family's pain and grief, you can't, all you can do is be there and be present to them, love them, and be present to yourself as well.
It may be worth getting in touch with a social worker from the hospital, the Cancer Council or even the Leukaemia Foundation. They may be able to help with some bereavement support for the whole family.
I'm so sorry for your losses, what a very sad time. Two years ago my children lost both their grandfathers within 3mths of each other. Children will sometimes surprise you, they are much stronger in grief than most adults. I agree with Leesa, maybe together with your DD help her create her very own memory box and I found with my children talking about their grandads helped them too .
Thank you
I actually had a box here I brought that I was going to do up to keep all the stuff from my grandparents in. I will pop out when I can and grab a few more then sit down with the kids and decorate them. Then we can sort out what they would like to put in them.
Even though the boys are still young . I want them to know their Poppa and have things to help remember him.
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Coping with death all over again
So sorry for your losses, hun.
to you and your family..
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