i really need some help

[Hayden_Sam_Adam]

Little bit of a background: i had DS 2 years ago and i suffered a 4th degree tear (10pounder), at my 6 week check up i was told due to the scaring i may never be able to have another vaginal birth AND if i do then i will tear just as badly if not worse

So my dilemma ATM is im preg with Baby #2 & i cannot stop thinking about the birth. I do no there is s possibility that i wont tear

i was wondering whether an epidural might help????? because they told me that the reason i tore so bad was because i pushed him out to quickly but my body was just in control and i just let it do its thing

or do i just go with the dr and have a c-section??? i truly just want peoples advice and opinion on what they would do? im a big wimp and am so worried that ill go through another natural birth only to end up back in the operating theater for over 2 hours when a c-section only takes about 45 min lol

[Trillian]

Please don't agree to a c/s just yet. Many, many women go on to have vaginal births after they have torn badly or have had an epi without a single complication. Don't forget too that you've had over two years to heal and add the length of a pg to that then it should be more than able to cope with another birth. From what you said about his birth, if they just gave you more help in getting him born slower that you would not have torn. When I was having my second baby she too was going to be born too fast and I was starting to tear, so I had to slow things right down and stop pushing. And when I had my last baby who was over 10lbs and in a crappy position, I didn't tear at all because my Midwife gave me excellent perenium support while he was being born. You always have the option too of discussing the possibility of having an episiotomy cut as well so if it does look like you are going to tear, it can be managed better. I know I would much rather have to heal from an epi than I would a c/s. But I think if that part of your next birth is managed better than it was before, then you should be fine.

[Kazmar]

You're 6 wks!!! They are telling you this now

Hun get yourself some support, a Doula etc......

Work with somebody like that learn more about it all. I cannot believe how they cut down the thought of natural instead of encuraging and helping you

[MumtoA]

Hi There again,

We have spoken before about this concern as i too experienced a 4th degree tear. I have been told that a c/s is my best option for bub #2. While i find it hard to accept that i wont experience a natural delivery again, i personally could not risk more damage the second time around should i tear again. The thought of having to deal with permanent incontinence or similar is just to much for me to risk. My recovery was long and painful and being separated from my girl for a few hours immediately after her delivery was really difficult. Like you said 45 min and seeing it all happen compared to a few hours away and completely out of it can make all the difference. For my next birth i have already decided to opt for the c/s but have done some research on how to make the c/s as wonderful as possible. Maybe you could chat with your ob about how you can make the c/s an empowering experience should you choose this option. Good luck with whatever decision you make and enjoy your pregnancy!

J xo

[Shanti]

I tore badly too, a 3rd degree internal and although I'm terrified of tearing again (had no drugs!!) I have every belief I can birth vaginally again. I'm sure you will too

[misty]

Go and get a second opinion and a third and a fourth if you have too.

It may be the dr is right, but it is also equally like that he isn't. get more opinions on the matter so you can feel confident that the opinion is based on factual evidence rather then just one person.

I had bad 3rd degree tearing with the first and barely even any gazes with the 2nd and third. I am not entirely sure of the impact of 4th degree tearing and scaring, but find it hard to believe it would automatically just rule out vaginal birthing forever more. Having said that, if this is the case at least you will feel better about having a c-section if you have no doubt that it is the best method for you.

[leekee]

Aww hun your so early in the pregnancy - you shouldnt have to worry about this now!!
But in any case your team of docs/midwives will lay outthe best possible options for you. Just remember, regardless of whether its a vaginal or c section labour and delivery is only a method of getting bubs safely into the world. Its not so much how you do it, just as long as the end result is your bundle of sweetness nestled in your arms comfortably. Good luck with it all!!