How to safely sleep with a newborn and a 3yr-old (for some of the night)

[Melody7]

Hi,

We're expecting our next bubba in about 6 weeks and are planning on co-sleeping with them as we did with DS.

DS transitioned to his own room of his own accord when he was 2 and so happily goes to sleep there most nights. He is, however, waking anywhere from 2am onwards (average 4/5am) and coming in for snuggles. His default position is between DH & I on a little cushion (that'll have to go) - and then snuggling me for the remainder of the night.

He's becoming quite clingy to me lately and I suspect it's because he's sensing the impending change in our family dynamics. For this reason, he's very reluctant to snuggle with DH.

One option, which he seems open to, is sleeping against my back whilst I'm snuggling the baby - but I don't know how comfortable that will be in the long run!

If you have any suggestions, I'd be most appreciative as I know people do this. He's not a toddler, so I'm hoping we'll be able to work this out together. I'm not too keen to bring his bed back into our room if I can help it....

Am I correct in thinking that it isn't safe for DS and the bub to sleep together in the middle? He just doesn't have "baby radar" like me

[meow]

Fortunately our son only comes in for snuggles in the morning and stays awake so I think we'll work out how to manage this... but I was considering getting a bed rail which I think would help for you to all sleep. If you had a bed rail on your side you could put baby between the edge of the bed and you, then your older son can still lie between you and your H. Though you would have to have your back to him... I've been doing this already sometimes with my son and he loves playing with my hair so it works out okay for us.

[Snowy Love]

My DH takes DS1 back to his bed & then falls asleep with him in there. So me and baby in the Queen bed & DH & 3 yo in the car bed (with sides, there's not alot of room). DH took over the putting to sleep duties when I was pg, 'cause I used to lie with him 'till ha was asleep & at about 6mths pg I couldn't get out of the car bed

[Melody7]

Meow, I have a side rail that I used with DS when he was a bit younger (1yr+). Interestingly I thought of your idea after I made this post - I just wasn't sure about the safety of bubs being against the rail... but that seems to be a good option to at least try. I might try practising sleeping with my back to DS.

Snowy Love, love your ideas too! Only thing is, DS's bed is a cot mattress with a cot bed frame (we used the mattress w/out the frame next to our bed as a transition from full co-sleeping) - so can't really sleep in there with him And fortunately, we have a KS bed, so hopefully we'll all fit comfortably (although it will be getting hotter with summer - sticky!).