I am Pregnant with my second child by the time this child is born DS will be 5. I never planned a 5 year age gap, just the way it worked out -BUT- I am Now actually looking forward to it.
Who has a large age gap between there first and second child???
Did it work out good?
My DH is the youngest of six children. There is five years between him and the second youngest: They have always been pretty close. There is either three or four years between the rest of them.
As someone with kids only 22mths apart, I cann't help but think a larger gap would be easier (ie, not changing two kids with nappies, etc). The older one is at an age where they can enterain themselves while you are busy, they can be good little helpers (fetching wipes and nappies etc), and old enough to really understand and get involved and excited about a new edition to the family. Although there is only 22mths between each of my kids, there is 4yrs between my eldest and my youngest and it has been a great experience. She really is a Helper, and they still play together and get along fabulously.
There is 4 years and 2 months between our 1st and 2nd, we loved it and totally worked for us. I really felt I was able to give all my attention to our DS before DD came along and then the following year he started school so had his own new adventure going on while I was giving her all my attention during the day.
I also loved having DS more involved with DD then if he had of still been little, the big build up to meeting her, the scans, he loved playing big brother and getting her toys for her or a drink when she was a little older and so on.
My 3 boys are all 2 year gaps 17,15,13 and when they were little i was very busy and it was just full on i didnt get to really enjoy my pregnanices after number 1 so it all went by in a blur and when the 2 yougest were born insted of sitting back and enjoying the newborn period it was more of a routine job which i loved but it also went by in a blur where now i am pregnant with a little girl and with older teenagers it is fantastic they do there own thing and help me with shopping lifting cooking ect so i am really enjoying this pregnancy i love it and i taking every minute in.
I cant wait to bring her home and actually have her all to myself and really enjoy the newborn weeks with her older brothers able to help and be part of it without me worrying about what they are up to.
We have a 4.5yr age gap between our two boys. It wasn't planned, this is just how it turned out and for us it's great! There has been no jealousy at all, ds1 just adores his little brother, it's really sweet to watch! Ds1 has been at kindy this year so I've had a couple of days a week where it's just been me ands ds2 which has been fantastic, nice to have that one on one time with the new bub in the early days.
Ds1 is old enough to realise that sometimes I just can't play and am really busy with ds2 and he'll give me a hand so I can get done quicker to play or he's happy enough to go do something on his own for a little bit. He's now much more independent and able to amuse himself for a feed/bumchange/settle etc...
The one thing I've been guilty of that I didn't realise was I wasn't conciously making time for ds1, just me and him. I think he's really missed that coz it was just him for such a long time. Now ds2 will take a bottle we're making an effor to do more things, leave ds2 home with dh and me and ds1 head out for an ice-cream or something. This morning I'm 'kindy mum' and my mum is going to watch ds1. I think it's important to do these things where you can.
The only negative is having to do school pick up and drop off at sleep time, some days that just sucks! Was fine in the beginning, we hired a capsule that was compatible with our pram so he could keep snoozing through getting in and out of the car, but as he grew out of that the sleep stopped. We're actually changing schools next year to the local one we'll be able to walk to (a good 20mins there and back) so I'm hoping that if all else fails ds2 might sleep in the pram in the afternoons! Fingers Crossed!
There is 6.5yrs between my 1st and 2nd. It was brilliant to start (but now they fight terribly) what I do love is the fact I get/got the 1st 5yrs with DD1 with just the two of us. It was brilliant only having her (although I wanted more) now I am enjoying the same thing as DD1 is at school alot of the time and I have my time at home with DD2 so we also have alot of 1 on 1 time. I'm expecting no3 now and there will be 4yrs (could be to the day) and 10.5yrs and again I'll have time with this bub on its own without the older 2. Definately advantages to having a larger gap (and disadvantages of course) one thing for DH and I is financially we wont be better of as there have been large gaps where I'm not working much to stay at home with the kids over a very extended period of time.
My daughter is 14 years old and I am now 5 weeks pregnant with number 2. I started trying for a 2nd when she was 10 as I figured it would mean that she was still young enough to enjoy it but also old enough to be a bit more independent so would understand when I had to do stuff with the baby and couldn't be at her beck and call. Unfortunately it hasn't worked out that way - I never expected it to take this long.
Anyway my daughter is old enough to understand about the pregnancy and help with jobs around the house. It's a pity she will be close to 15 by the time it is born as she has never really liked babies but loves little kids (from around 2 years upwards) so by the time this one is the age she likes she'll be close to leaving home.
I think there are obviously advantages and disadvantages to both but having a bigger gap does allow you to spend more quality time with each child.
Interestingly one of my best friends is the youngest of 6 kids. There is 18 years difference between her and the eldest and only 3 years between her and the 2nd youngest but she actually gets along much better with her eldest sister then she does with the one closer in age to her. She and her eldest sister are actually very close. But she doesn't get along with the sister who is closest in age to her.
Lori
DD14
Started donor search Dec 06, started donor insemination Jan 09, Started IVF Feb 10, finally 5 weeks pregnant!!!
At the moment DD1 is 9, DS is 5, DD2 is 1 and I am pregnant with number 4. I love the age gaps we have and I'm secretly stressing about the small age gap I'll have between 3 and 4....
I have a ten year age gap between my first and second and I will have a 20 month age gap between my second and third. My DD is a little mummy and LOVES helping out with her little brother, so it's worked out well! She was very lonely when she was younger though and desperately wanted a sibling.
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Age gap between children???
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