VENT - Nervous about telling Inlaws of our Pregnancy

[MissM]

Hi There,

This could end up quite long .....

We're excited to tell my side of the famz, but not really DP's side when the 12 weeks hit.

DP's family are Greek, and are pretty anal at the best of times, but in saying that - MIL's issue is going to be that we are NOT married.

We were planning on a 2011 / 2012 wedding, but we bought a house together about a year ago, and quite honestly dont have the money just now for a big wedding (which it will have to be) but whoopty doo ... a baby has come first

His mother will cry for days and get all paranoid about what everyone will say about us (more so her probably) and its bad enough I am not Greek, and have a child from a previous relationship ... She was 'Embarrassed' that I wasnt Greek!! (Because most Greeks are raised to marry Greeks! .. eh - who cares!) Its not as if we fell preggers the first time we met! (no offence to anyone that has) We've been together a few years now.

At this exciting time in our lives shouldnt she just be happy for us?!! We know what her reaction is going to be, and she very well might disown the both of us.

At the end of the day, I dont care what she thinks or who talks about us, if you have nothing better to talk about than us and what we do, then you have no freakin life! Its her loss too if she chooses not to have anything to do with us.

I am trying not to stress about this, I am trying to detach my emotions until I have to deal with it ..

[MrsBexie]

Aww sweets it always sucks when such exciting and amazing news is dampened by other people!!

It shouldn't matter what people say, a baby is an amazing miracle and something to be celebrated!! I am sorry that it's not going to be celebrated like it should!

Is there any chance your IL might react differently and be happy?

Good luck with telling them and HUGS!!
Xx

[skybie]

its the same as weddings hun, you're always bound to p someone off!!
she'll be right, trust me, once the thought of a brand new squishy baby that she can greek up all she wants gets in her head u wont be able to get rid of her. prepair for shrieking though when u do tell her

[westy]

Firstly Congratulations darl on yuor pregnancy ....i hope you have a very H&H pregnancy.

Honestly darl, dont worry about what your MIL or anyone else might think, if they want to talk let them don't let anyone ruin the excitement - your having a beautiful bubba don't worry about anything else

Take care xx

[MissM]

Is there any chance your IL might react differently and be happy?

If only!! Her reaction is going to be 'OH F**K (insert dp's name here) OH F**K!! Then we will hear from my SIL she's been crying for days

She already warned us if we have 'Bastard Children' she will disown us.

Its just not fair though ... Sometimes old fashioned values & beliefs are annoying.

BTW - Its not as if we werent planning on being married, we were That was the whole point of concentrating on myself to lose weight so we could get married then start tring again (previous post i had) oh well.

thanks westy

Skybie - the only shrieking will be of cuss words aimed at me!!!

[Fleur]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I hope it goes as smoothly as it can for you.

[MissM]

Thanks Fleur

We do too!

[CrazyLady]

If only!! Her reaction is going to be 'OH F**K (insert dp's name here) OH F**K!! Then we will hear from my SIL she's been crying for days

She already warned us if we have 'Bastard Children' she will disown us.

Its just not fair though ... Sometimes old fashioned values & beliefs are annoying.

BTW - Its not as if we werent planning on being married, we were That was the whole point of concentrating on myself to lose weight so we could get married then start tring again
Skybie - the only shrieking will be of cuss words aimed at me!!!

It might work out better for you if she disowns ya Sorry, I can be a ***** about ILs. Hoping she is mature enough to accept har grandchild for you and your DP. It'll be kinda sad for both your grandchild and your ILs if they don't.

[MissM]

Thanks CL .. It might be better if she does disown us.

I am hoping she gets used to the idea, no matter how much she doesnt like it ...

Poor DP - He's the one that has to tell her but whatever happens happens ..

[TeniBear]

Do the coward's thing like I did and make your DF tell her by himself My hubby's dad didn't even know we were back together (his hatred of me sorta caused our breakup to begin with) until we'd been engaged a month or two

But really, I'd just take shat she tries to throw at you and let it slide. Who cares what the old bat says? You're having a baby!

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

[*Sparklez*]

Well Congrats on the bubs!!!
Now as for bastard child tell her get with the program there is no law saying u have too b married to hav a child n that use are trying to buy a house so that UR child HER grandchild will have something in the future
N if she disowns u then that's her loss hunni cause she will lose her grandchild n not being rude but stuff her n her thoughts this is ur n ur dp decision not hers
N as for u not being Greek tell her u will treat her son better than any Greek girl cause it's not ur nationality that is gonna love him n support him it's u as a person!!
Jus look after urself n stay positive cause it's ur life nor sum1 elses too live

[MissM]

DP will break the news to her by himself - I think thats something he wants to do

I love this!!

But really, I'd just take shat she tries to throw at you and let it slide. Who cares what the old bat says? You're having a baby!

So true!

Zaki&Amali - thanks for the congrats

Of course this is our decision - it would be nice to have the support from his mother though. Which he never gets sraight away (like his brother does, his bro is the FAVORITE and it stands out like a sore thumb!!)

Sad tho really ... But it will be HER loss ... and wont be very comfortable at family functions, but her choice, we will just ask not to be seated near her if things are that bad

She is more old fashioned than my Grandma who is older than Dp's mother!

I just don't get why people are so concerned with what other people have to say? ya know? ....

[Kazbah]

Awww congrats MissM!!!!!!!!

Gotta love inlaws

It may help to have a few strategies up your sleeves for when your DP tells her Think about which surname the baby will have - if you're going to use DP's surname, then let her know that. And just be honest - that you've decided to postpone the wedding until after bub is born so you can "do it right".

And for total suck-up to her, to make your lives easier, consider any family names you may be interested in using.

good luck, and YAY!!!!!! On the bright side, you'll be able to get Christmas out of the way before sharing the news!!!!!

[CinderToriella]

Congrats on your little one I hope everything turns out ok with them, make your partner tell them by himself heheh
I know what you mean about in laws, cant stand mine

[*Efjay*]

Why not just deliver a double whammy & rush of to the registry office & get married, nice & simple like & then tell her.. "Hey Ma, guess what, we are expecting a baby!" her- "WHAT I TOLD YOU I WANT NO BASTARD GRANDCHILD!!!!"
"That's ok ma, we got married a few weeks back" LOL priceless that would be!

[beansbeans!]

Congrats on your pregnancy!

My MIL was similar to yours, I dreaded telling them, in fact they didnt even know that we were together let alone engaged!! Thats a long story! Needless to say we had been together over 6 yrs by then.
Her reaction was totally opposite of what I thought it would have been which was good, so maybe you can hope for that.
But you know what, if they have the reaction you think they are going to have, why don't you make your response, "you know we still plan on getting married, just not right now, however if you are willing to pay for the whole event before bubs comes along... We may consider it" Just a thought? I suppose that way you have given her an out, a way to make her happy, just maybe? Oh and my no meansdo I say this to be greedy, its just an alternative to give her.

But still congrats on your pregnancy and hope it is H&H.

[CrazyLady]

LOL Efjay! My friends did that but they had a ceremony when their daughter was 2 years old. My friend's grandmother was VERY Christian and quite frail so she ddn't want to give her a stroke.

I like the way you think beansbeans! Maybe they might just fork out for the wedding too! If it is that important to them then they might just do it.

[MissM]

girls you crack us up ... I had to show DP your suggestions because its what we say!! Especially about the running off to the registry

Speaking of forkin out, MIL actually offered to pay half of our wedding to ensure she didnt have bastard children! .. Charming eh ...

I said to DP tonight, we cannot get married until the last child is born, because I dont him/her to feel left out (they'll all be bastards then) ....