Help - clingy screamer!

[mummy2Kaitlyn]

Help girls ...please tell me this is ok or give me some hints!.

My daughter is sooooo clingy and she has also discovered her SCREAM. If I put her down , put her in her high chair , pram , car seat...pretty much if I put her down she SCREAMS ....Gymbarroo has lost all enjoyment as she just screams!.

She also wont let anyone else settle her ...not even DH. LAst night she stirred at 11pm and DH ended up having to wake me up ( as he was up and I was in bed) as she was hysterical and wouldnt settle for him...took me about 1min and she was asleep again.

I know the clingyness is normal so I am not to worried about that...but is it pretty normal for babies this age to be so screamy! I think she is frustrated as she cant crawl and I think she wants to be on the move.

phew ...big one ...few issues ...please help!...she is over 10Kgs and my back is killing me from having her on my hip all day!.

Sorry one more addition ...she seems much happier with the dummy so I am caving in and letting her have it when up as well ....am I creating a rod for my own back as I keep being told!

Cass

[Melinda]

Yes it could be separation anxiety. Jacob suffered with it terribly too, and I know how very hard it can be on you. In fact, Jacob suffered with SA at exactly the same age with me (he actually went through it again this year with DH).

I don't have any solutions as such, just reassurance that it does pass in time. It can take a while, I won't lie to you about that! (Sorry!) I found it very very hard work as Jaocb too would scream and cry every time he was put down or I left the room (or even appeared to be thinking about leaving the room!).

Trying games like peekaboo can help, in that it demonstrates to them that whilst you do leave, you always come back.

I found that I would try to always talk to Jacob and if I left the room, I'd talk to him from wherever I was (usually not far away), just so that he at least had the reassurance of my voice.

I do think that SA quite commonly comes with developmental stages......Jacob was learning to crawl and cruise at the same age and when it struck us again this year, it coincided with speech development etc (as well as illness and teething.....what a combo!).

So yes, it is normal for babies to behave this way. I did my best to reassure Jacob that everything was alright and that I wasn't leaving, although there were obviously times when I couldn't physically pick him up, e.g. I was preparing dinner. I did try to do things a bit differently though and prepare as much of dinner as I could during nap times as well as any housework etc, so that all his 'awake' time was spent with me where possible.

Believe me, I know how hard it is when they need you 24/7, but it does pass. Just think about how much she loves you!

[BellyBelly]

Been there, not fun but all a part of normal development I am afraid! You might just leave the room, but as far as they are concerned you may have gone to China! Seperation anxiety begins at around 8-9 months and peaks at around 12 months, so I would probably say this is the case. Hang in there! You might like to read Pinky McKay's article, Velcro Baby.

[~Raven~]

I went through a bit of this with Angus. He still prefers me if he is tired or upset, but these days it's not really an issue.

And on the dummy thing, what's the big deal. If she likes it and it settles her then don't worry too much. Mason was about 3 when his dummies kept getting "lost" till there was no more to be found. I think it's much better than thumb sucking which I have with Angus. I hope he grows out of that one soon enough.

[Adnil]

I know exactly what you are going through - it is goin on here with us now. My happy little bub is one noisy girl when she wants to be. Emma also is not happy to play by herself. Even if I just sit beside her she is happy to do her own thing, but if I walk away....well! It all starts again. Emma is also just learning to crawl & I think that is a big thing too. Very frustrating not to be mobile when they want to...

Anyway, I havent offered any advice at all - but just know that you aren't the only one giong through this ..... I'm off to read 'velcro baby' now too...thanks Kel!

ETA - I just read it & love it. Pinky always makes me feel better.

[mummy2Kaitlyn]

Thanks so much girls!. We had a totally nightmare day today ..tried a trip to my grandmas which is about 1.5hour drive up the coast!. Mmmmmm her in the back seat me on the freeway ....needless to say after 45mins of hysterical crying and me knowing that my concentration was not what it should be at 110kms per hour I turned around and headed for home!...she slept for 30mins then started crying hysterically again. So all up she probably spent about 1hour crying hysterically with me not really being able to reassure her except with words. Man did I feel like the worst mum in the world .....I still have knots in my tummy and we got home 6hours ago!......anyway .......needless to say she has been on my hip since then hehe

[Adnil]

Aaww there is nothing worse than when they are that upset in the car! Glad you are enjoying being close now

[Soph]

Cass - Sorry to hear about your tough time. Believe me I know about the driving thing - having done a couple of 2 hour trips with just me and Lucie. And the screaming sure is hard to cope with. Does Kaityn use a dummy? I keep about 3 spares with me in the front, so if she wakes and keeps screaming, I can actually manage to pass one back to her (carefully of course) if she has dropped it. This seems to keep her occupied and quiet for a while. Oh and I try and sing old macdonald had a farm - sometimes it works and sometimes I think she is screaming to tell me to stop! Anyway I hope it gets better matey, it's tough I know!