How everything can change in a matter of minutes......RIP Keira 16/12/2010
I guess i thought i should share my story of my baby girl born still born with only 7 days till her due date, born on 16/12/2010. After a complete;y normal pregnancy, and a completely healthy baby girl, i thought nothing could go wrong.......
After 9 months of feedings, sleeping and feeling Keira move inside me, within a matter of ten minutes and a visit to the hospital, my worst fears were put infront of me, and my world came crashing down. On december 15th 2010, myself and my partner were visiting a friend when I was worried on the amount of movement Keira has move during the day. It was about 8pm and i had not felt her move in a couple of hours and I had told my partner I should just go into the hospital and check just incase something is wrong. Aswell i had been having pains for about a week or so previous and had also been in the hopspital twice in the last 5 days becuase of her movement and the pains i had. Me and my partner came home and he had called his mm to come with me to the hospital well he changed and got ready to come back into the hospital when i was there. My mother inlaw picked me up and we went into the hospital. We thought nothing, though me and my partner sensed something may be wrong, but i still said ' no im sure everything is fine'. It was just after 11pm when the nurse put me on the CTG and she could hear no heart, i thought maybe just a faulty machine, and then she returned with a ultrasound machine, then nothing.... icould see Keira's heart, move i said, please, nothing! The doctor then came in, tears filled my eyes and i screamed! The pain i felt and all i could see was Keira;s body, no heart and no movement! when 5 days before she was moving, heart beating strong and to now be told my baby girl was now not alive, crumbled me inside. The fear, pain and anxiety i wish upon no one. The next thing you knew I was with my family and partner and his family, realising i had to give birth. By 5am on the 16th of December, my water broke naturally and I went into labour. by 9:48am I had given birth to beautiful Keira 8pound 52cm and a full head of hair. Beautiful big healthy baby and still colour in her face. Once labour was over, the fantastic nurse i had cleaned her a little and still asked if i wanted her placed on my chest, realising I knew she wouldnt breathe, or cry, I took her in my arms and held her to my heart and closed my eyes, I prayed a miracle would happen, but i realised a miracle was still there in my arms, i cried and cried and held her tight....being the most painful and sad time, it was still the most precious moment in my life. Over the next few days me and my partner spent time with her had photos taken by the hospital and also by Gavin Blue from Heartfelt who was absolutely amazing and captured everything i wanted. We planned and had her funeral which was everything we wanted bright and colourful and represented everything i wanted for my little girl. I know she would realise the happiness and love i wanted for her. Now in the days after I just pray for her happiness and to be looked after. She is close to my heart and everyday i pray for hope in the future for my future child or children. I wish this upon no parent or human, for it is the hardest thing i have ever gone through or had to deal with, but this will only make me stronger.
RIP Keira - fly free beautiful angel. Cherish the moments of your pregnancy that were happy and full of excitement, I still hang on to those days. There are many mums here on BB who have lost our babies in the later stages of pregnancy it is a great support network i hope you find some comfort here. Take all the time to grieve and dont listen to the ones who will tell you youre doing it wrong or its time to move on etc do things your way in your own time.
Thinking of you and your family
Anthony James - 6/11/02 - Went to sleep and never awoke at 3 hours old
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Please know that we are all here to support you in any way that we can.
*Fly free Keira, beautiful girl too precious for this earth, and may you watch over your mummy and daddy always*
I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can make you feel better but here is a huge anyway. I was reading something Alison Doubis said about lost angels and she believes that they come back into the family they were meant to be in. She believes that they come back into your life as another child for yourself or niece or nephew. Whether you believe this or not is up to you but I thought it might bring some comfort. RIP Kiera
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter Keira. The loss of a baby is something that no one should have to experience. There are no words that could EVER take away your pain, just know you are not alone and here on BB you will find lots of support when you need it.. My thoughts are with you, your family and your Angel Baby..
i reflect on the 9 months i carried her, what a rollercoaster, but what an experience. Truly unforgettable. As hard as it has been i would never change it for the world or anyone.
We do plan to have another child, but let it all happen naturally. We dont want things to be a chore between us, we just want things to happen the right way.
Going through his experience though has really made me want to support and open my story to others and try and help people through..... I sit back and reflect on what i have been through and done and cant believe my own strengh, but know i have done it for my little girl, the respect and the memories she deserves.........
I am so glad i got to hold and sing and cudlde her for the days that i did in the hospital, i swear it was like i could sometimes close my eyes and see her smile.. ))
Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry that your beautiful baby girl isn't with you now.
I don't know why things like this happen and I can't imagine your pain.
My thoughts are with you and your partner - take care, xx
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful little girl. Keira will always be with you. You must be so proud to be her mummy.
Noone should ever go through the pain of losing a child. Sadly, many of us have. It's the most extraordinary feeling to fall in love and have your heart torn out at the same time. I hope you can find support here.
Grief is like an endless scream into your soul. Sometimes it's quieter than others then just when you think it's fading it hits you all over again. Hold onto those precious memories of nurturing and meeting you angel. And lean on us whenever you need to.
Thanks everyone! oh my i have only been on here for 10minutes and the support is great.
I find this comforting to be abl to say exactly how i am feeling and read others stories and reflect on my own and realise there are other people out there who have been through the same thing..... its hard to believe that this happens so often and is so common... the fact these beautiful little angels are born sleeping and never have the chance to breath, laugh smile or cry......
thanku everyone... for even taking the time to read my story... there is so much anger pain and frustration i need to let out, just posting on here and talking and writing replies helps greatly.
How everything can change in a matter of minutes......RIP Keira 16/12/2010
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anyway. I was reading something Alison Doubis said about lost angels and she believes that they come back into the family they were meant to be in. She believes that they come back into your life as another child for yourself or niece or nephew. Whether you believe this or not is up to you but I thought it might bring some comfort. RIP Kiera
))
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