Baby shower after the baby is born?

[lilmisspositive]

Hi guys,

Was going to have a baby shower in the next month but dh brought up a great point.
I already have everything I need. I was thinking about having people come around and help me prepare some food for the freezer but honestly don't feel I will be up for so much effort. lol. I am not your normal kind of girl and feel funny about every making such a fuss about me. ; )

I was thinking at about 2-3 weeks after the birth to have a bbq and invite everyone over. What do you guys think? Will I not be up for it? I love my bbq's and I feel it would be great to have a date so people will kindly not just drop in randomly after bun is born.

Anyone do this? Btw we are not fussed about presents, just thought it would be great for everyone to see bun. ; ) Oh and to add the straying from the "norm" it will be inclusive. So everyone, partners and kids included. : )

[Persephone1]

I was a bit like you - not liking the idea of people fussing over me. My only baby "shower" was a farewell afternoon tea at my work before I left.

We didn't have a social gathering after the baby was born, but some friends of ours did. They sent a message after their bub was born advising that on X date they would be accepting visitors for a bbq from midday until 4pm. It was a chance for people to meet the baby and offer their best wishes, but for the new parents it meant they didn't have to "manage" lots of visitors at different times. They essentially knew that they could get all their visitors in and out in one afternoon which suited everyone.

You could always decide to do it after the baby arrives, when you have more of an idea of your capacity to entertain people. There's no reason why you have to decide now. For me, the idea of entertaining anyone in those early months was a bit daunting, but I'm a generally anxious person so it doesn't suit me anyway.

[Arimeh]

I think its a great idea!! I didn't feel too bad 2-3 weeks after my first c-section so I'm sure you will be fine Its not like its a huge party that goes for hours and hours, so I'm sure you will feel up to it

[Rowellen]

I did that thinking it would be a good idea but in reality, it was way too soon. DS was really fussy that day and I was BF and hadn't quite got the hang of it. I didn't feel comfortable feeding in front of everyone when it was still so new and DS was being fussy. He ended up going to sleep after feeding for an hour so no-one really saw him. But everyone else seemed to enjoy it. lol! We did an afternoon tea type thing and set an end time. We said no presents but no-one listened.

I think it probably would have been better to wait another 2 or 3 weeks.

[teresa]

I think it's a great idea! I never got a farewell from work or a baby shower and DHs mum said she would throw a after baby party bit never did . I wish I had done it now! If that's what u would like to do then I say go for it!


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[Nai]

I think that's usually called a "Head wetting" rather than a baby shower. We had one when DD1 was 4 weeks old. We invited a few of our closest friends and had it at our favourite brewery. We stayed for a couple of hours and then went home after a drink and something to eat. Everyone got to meet DD1 and have a cuddle. It was lovely and I didn't have to do anything other than turn up.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

I love Nai's idea of going somewhere so all you have to do is turn up

I had some relatives from interstate who were in town and wanted to come visit when DD was 2 weeks old. They spent lunch and almost the whole afternoon at our place. I was exhausted and it was a bit overwhelming to be honest. So probably it was a bit early for me. I couldn't have done it if my mum and dad weren't there to do all of the cooking/cleaning up/entertaining

[Calluna]

This is what I wanted to do, it would have been great except that MIL decided she'd take it upon herself to organise for everyone to come to our house the day after we got home from hossy! Everyone wanted to come at different times and apparently that was ok too. So we had people drifting in and out all day on our first day home NEVER again!

Anyway, my point is make sure you'll be ready for visitors and be sure everyone knows the start time and sticks to it!

[Jas]

This kind of idea is something i have heard of before for ppl to all visit at once...I think its a great idea but there a few things that make me think I'm not sure if I would do it myself.

Are you planning on breastfeeding? Newborns can often take an hour to breastfeed, will you feel comfortable o do this in front of everyone while you and bubs are learning or would you leave everyone? If you will leave everyone are you happy to do so? (this is an issue you will have with visitors anyway but sometimees you can try to work it around when you think you will be feeding and gett the ppl to come once they will have fed.

Food- big preperation, I personally think its a bit too much on new parents so I would suggest either getting close family and friends to handle all the food and drinks or make it everyone bring a plate type of thing.

House - Will the ppl you invite help clean up? Or will they leave the house a mess and leave you exhausted? If you think the house will get trashed maybe think about a location. park etc etc, however, that means you will have to get out of the house and be away from home for howver many hrs so preperation that way

Anyway I think it sounds great but just thought I would throw in a couple of things I would consider

[MummaSue]

We did this. I'm not big on baby showers..... just a silly superstitious thing I have about celebrating a baby that isn't here yet

Our friends hosted ours and it was more a "welcome to the world" and we had everyone there. We still played some of the baby shower games though and that was loads of fun with the guys there. It was hilarious - they got sooooo much more competitive than if it had just been girls there.

Anyway, I think it's a lovely idea.

ETA, I have just read others posts properly and while there are some things to consider, it is important to make sure if YOU are the one who hosts it that you are comfortable with having all those people in your house so soon after bubby comes along. I waited until DD was 8 weeks old until we did it - and as I say, our friends hosted it.

[helle]

i think you'd be insane ><;;

1. unless you tell people otherwise, they'll drop by randomly anyway.
2. all that cleaning... and food cooking... and cleaning... and cleaning... with a three weeker, and the first haze of motherhood. Ech! Not to mention if you're BF the first couple of weeks it's a real chore, and you really need to be focused on it and bubs.

Sorry to be so down. What if you go out with the girls and do something you won't be able to do (you will be able to do it obviously, but not so much at a leisurely pace) once bub arrives? Go see a chick flick at the movies, then have a s****y lunch some where and get doted on with company and not pressies

[lilmisspositive]

Honestly.. You guys rock. Thanks for being soooo HONEST! I have heaps of things to think about now. Not sure if I will or wont but I am going to start thinking about it, with all of the other considerations in mind. I never would of thought of that, so thank you! : )