DP starts and finishes at a different time each day. Shiftwork has its pros and cons. One of the big pros is that he's often around a lot during the day which means he gets to spend a lot of time with the kids).
However, the big con is that he's often not home till the early hours and not in bed till 3am(ish) which means that when DDs get up at 7ish that is a lot of time to keep quiet and generally pad around the house before I feel OK about getting on with normal life.
We live in a one-storey house where the bedrooms aren't that far from the living area so any day-to-day noises like loading the dishwasher, children squealing or generally being a bit loud will disturb him. Nor can I go and have a shower unless I manage to squeeze it in the night before or before the kids get up because I can't leave DD1 unsupervised and she won't always come in the shower with me.
I think we have a solution - we're lucky enough to have a huge garden so I think we'll just build a granny flat that DP can sleep in when he's on really late shifts and that means we can go about our business as usual without having to be quiet.
I usually work shift work (although currently on maternity leave) and fortunately I can sleep through just about anything! DH closes the bedroom door and as long as the kids don't come and deliberately wake me up I will continue to sleep.
DH works shift work occasionally and is a much lighter sleeper than I am. I encourage the kids to be quiet and explain to them that daddy needs to sleep. They are generally pretty good. Because it is not a regular thing, I often take the kids out when DH is sleeping after a night shift but that obviously isn't convenient if your DH is a regular shift worker. Have you tried ear plugs for your DH? I loathe them, but many of my co-workers use them and our workplace actually supplies them so that shift workers have a better quality of sleep.
I find the hardest part is keeping the kids from deliberately waking DH up as they are so pleased he is home during the day and they want him to get up and play!
My DH works from 2:30pm til 12:30 at night, is usually in bed around 2am-ish and get's up between 10:30 and 11:30. We are in a one-story house that isn't all that big either.
I used to worry about keeping the kids quiet, and he used to be really sensitive to the slightest noise, so we'd go out in the mornings to get things done that needed to be done.
After a while he just started sleeping through anything and everything so I don't really worry about it too much anymore, having said that, he's been doing it for almost 6 years.
Sorry that's probably not much help, if he's going to be doing the shiftwork often it might be work building a granny flat.
I used to do permanent nights and no one in my house seemed to care about noise lol.
Can he tolerate earplugs?
My DH works nights every fortnight but he doesn't get home until 7am at least so when he's really tired and sleeps the best we're doing our morning thang, and then I try to take them out, either the library, groceries, park etc for a couple of hours. Then DS has a snooze and I can keep DD quiet for a while with the telly/computer/baribies/lego/something she can't play when DS is awake.
Mine does four 12hour shifts per week. 6am till 6pm for two days then 6pm till 6am for two days. Screws with his body clock but he reckons he is used to it now.
He is a heavy sleeper so that helps and he wears earplugs too but sometimes (especially during holidays when they are all home) he sleeps in the garage. We have turned this into the kids space so there is a pull out couch,TV etc but it is furtherest away from the main living area so more chance of a decent sleep.
My boys are older too so they know when Dads on nights they have to be quiet and Scout is learning, albeit slowly
My DH works from 2-11pm, is usually in bed about 1am and then sleeps until 9-10am. My DD is quite a bit younger than yours, but if she's up when I shower I just take her into the bathroom with me and she plays with her toys (or empties out the draws). Not sure if that would work for a 3yo as an alternative to showering with you.
My mum worked shifts when I was a kid. Dad played cricket back then too, so he'd take us with him if it was the weekend. My grandmother would watch us while he worked during the week. I just remember having to be really, really quiet. Not so much an issue for me as I've always been fairly quiet anyway. But my brother would often be sent outside (we had a big backyard) to burn off some energy. It was rare that we actually bothered Mum though. Dad and Mumma always stressed more than she did.
If your DH is finding it hard, a granny flat seems like a great idea. You can always find another use for it once the kids are older and at school.
My DH does rotating shifts - Day 7am-4pm, Arvo 3pm-1am & Night 11pm-8am. We are currently on the first night shift so DH is sleeping (luckily so is DD ). I usually use the days when DH needs to sleep to get out of the house... visiting other people, shopping, go to the park but more than often usually just end up at MIL place. Our morning routine for now usually means though we don't really need to leave the house to mid morning cos DD will have a nap soon after breakfast which is about 7:30am (except today, it was 9am).
Our house is a one story and our bedroom comes off the lounge room (hate that). I'd love it if DH had a totally separate sleeping area. A granny flat sounds perfect!
Thanks everyone - good to know other people are in the same boat. Realistically, we are going to be in this situation for as long as DP works (probably until he's 80 because he loves his job) so I think a granny flat is the go. It's just not possible to go out in the morning every day especially as it rains here A LOT in winter. I've already spent a lot of the last three years trying to keep DD quiet, I think any more will send me completely round the twist.
We're looking at building a straw bale structure which will be fun!
Shiftwork and Being Quiet With Kids
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). I usually use the days when DH needs to sleep to get out of the house... visiting other people, shopping, go to the park but more than often usually just end up at MIL place. Our morning routine for now usually means though we don't really need to leave the house to mid morning cos DD will have a nap soon after breakfast which is about 7:30am (except today, it was 9am).
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