totally over it.
36 weeks tomorrow.
so depressed, disconnecting, thinking about abandoning my baby and my 2 1/2 year old as soon as the new baby is born.
how could i even think like that!?
i don't think i can be a mother of two. i barely cope with one.
Hun, you will be fine and pls dont doubt yourself like that there is no school in the world that can prepare you for motherhood it is always an ongoing lesson and you will adapt to it i promise...
Your nearing the end and like many your feeling the weight and responsibilities more and more now but i can guarantee once this baby is here you will look at your situation differently
Have you spoken to the Mw's at your appointments about your feelings? not so much the last thought you mentioned but about being unprepared and feeling like you wont cope?
You rchildren are at lovely age gaps now so your toddler will fell automatically like they are going to have to step up a little its just a little instinct they get..
Big hugs hun, i for one know the feeling and anxiety of having another baby but you will be ok you just need to tell yourself "Im ok"
DO you have alot of support around you?
Even here you will find a whole truck load full
Oh hun huge You will be a wonderful mum to 2. Being pregnant with an active toddler is not easy, so try not to be so hard on yourself.
Have you got any family or friends around that you could just sit and chat with for a while? Or at the very least speak with your midwife at the birth centre, to talk through the feelings you are having.
Did anything in particular happen that set off these feelings?
If you honestly feel like this please call LifeLine or Beyond Blue and talk to someone - now, tonight.
You can also speak with your GP or OB, whomever is handling your pregnancy and get some information on who can help you.
These are serious things you are saying and you need professional help to deal with them
It is a big thing to admit being terrified, and feeling like you do, so well done for saying it 'out loud', now you need to do something about it.
I am scared to death of having 2. I am having pictures of myself leaving one behind, or forgetting to pick her up from kinder... Flashes of chasing them around supermarkets and having the older one be hideously jealous and tipping baby out the bassinette... Every horror I can imagine and some that are beyond a joke have gone through my head.
It is super scary and I have no idea how I will cope. But I know I have no choice but to cope and will do whatever, talk to whoever, to cope. That one moment when my daughter tells me she loves me makes up for everything and is enough to push through the anxiety.
Give your little one a big cuddle, take a deep breath and do what you have to do to cope, they need you.
thanks, i put too much pressure on myself! i really stuffed up tonight. ive cracked under the pressure to do it all.
i yelled at my poor son, and he didnt deserve it.i completely failed him, i failed my partner who has been trying really hard to take the pressure off for me, he's been awesome, and the relationships under strain because this pregnancy was unplanned and we;d only just met each other a few weeks before i fell pregnant and he moved in with my son and i a few months ago, and i have this massive guilt when ever he has to do things he doesnt really want to do because even though he says he is happy, i still know that he struggles with this enormous life change...
my husband left my son and i when our son was six months old so i was a single mum from then on, really really independant and strong but also untrusting, and very fearful of being hurt again and still am. so its hard for me as well.
i was in such a bad mood tonight and i couldnt get my thoughts together enough to even cook a meal for myself and my son, cant even remember what was said but i lost it and i kicked a fan into the TV which is now broken, and since then all ive done is cry and think really bad stuff about myself :-(
i wont abandon my beautiful family. theres just so many tough times and all i want is for my son to have a happy mummy and im not a happy mummy, im a sad crying one and i feel so sorry for him :-(
Aw that sounds awful hun I am sorry you lost it tonight, happens to the best of us though, you are not alone.
Have you and DP thought about counselling? It may very well help you both speak to each other about the things that are underpinning this experience for you both at the moment.
Unplanned pregnancy is one thing, but an unplanned with an uncommitted must be exceptionally tough.
Check out the private support groups here too, there must be some of us who have had similar experiences and can help.
BlueTree - definately follow LS's advice. Contact your GP or midwife, and have a chat with them about this. Are you being treated for depression or other MI? There are a lot of stresses involved with having a toddler, let alone being pregnant as well. Finding strategies to cope will really help you now and into the future.
massive i hope in time you are able to destress and enjoy the final weeks, it can be tough especialy when unplaned. as hard as it may seem the thought of 2, that would mostly be a fear of the unknown, i have no idea how im going to cope with 4 under 6 in a few weeks, but i know this is just how i get, the fear of the unknown, i hope you are ok and find a way to sort out whats going in your head, maybe try and talk about your fears with your patner? you never know he may feel the same.
I couldn't read this and not post. I promise you that your situation (being very pregnant, hormones going this way and that, this freaking heat, cabin fever, probably lack of sleep, uneasy family situation) is making everything so much harder to deal with and to a certain extend how you are feeling is a result of some really really tough circumstances. Cut yourself some slack, we are all going to have our good days and our bad days and when you are in the situation you are in the bad days are going to be worse and more frequent, and that is OK.
Seriously everyone has snapped at some point when things all got too much but it is OK, your DS will forget about the yelling soon enough.
But I think for today and tomorrow you need to talk to your GP or Ob or Beyond Blue. Please do that for us, and for you, and for your partner and for your DS.
Depression is a disease that can make you think and say things that you normally wouldn't think or say, so perhaps you need a little helping hand to get out of the depression you are in at the moment so you can think straight and make things a bit easier for yourself. Take care and I will be thinking of you...x
thank you everyone for your support and kind words!
I'm feeling much better tonight but still feeling quite depressed :-( my mum took toddler for the day and i got lots of rest and had time to think. now i just have to deal with mum being "so worried about me" and "you need to go see the doctor"!
I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow, we'll see. I am feeling more positive about the future now.
hun you dont even need to say thank you thats what we are here for... to pick you up when your down.
So glad you got a rest and some time to see the positives of the beautiful things these little ones will bring you.. so worth it at the end
i want out
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You will be a wonderful mum to 2. Being pregnant with an active toddler is not easy, so try not to be so hard on yourself.
I am sorry you lost it tonight, happens to the best of us though, you are not alone.
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