12

thread: Still doesn't feel real - am I the only one?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Dec 2008
    1,431

    Still doesn't feel real - am I the only one?

    Hello...weirdo post about to happen but I just need to get this out there.

    I am 13 and a bit weeks pregnant, have had 2 scans now, everything is perfect and the odds for the trisomy disorders they test for all came back almost as low as they could go....so....shouldn't it all feel a bit more real??

    I have a big pot belly, by boobs are humongous, I have morning sickness if I stop eating and am only comfortable in maternity clothes or even better, nothing!...so shouldn't it be sinking in?

    I feel like I can't trust this. I don't really feel like talking to anyone about it even though I have "announced" my pregnancy. I feel like its all going to go pear-shaped still. And I can't get attached.

    Does anyone else feel like this?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Mar 2006
    7,046

    Winter. I felt like that all through dd's pregnancy. I hope you can enjoy it and bond soon.

  3. #3
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Oct 2007
    Outer South East Melbourne :)
    4,346

    i was exactly the same with this pregnancy, had a few scares at the beginning which really caused me to not focus at all on the pregnancy and just wait for something to go "wrong". even now im worried things are going to go pear-shaped, even tho theres no "real" reason for it....i don't think i will "calm down" until she is born and safe in my arms and i can physically see that she is ok

    Big squishy hun, i hope you get to start enjoying your pregnancy soon

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    In the jungle.
    4,809

    I have felt like it with all 3 pregnancies. I kind of refused to accept it until I was holding my baby. I figured it was my coping mechanism just in case something did/does go wrong. Given you've had some bleeding and it hasn't been all smooth sailing, I would think it's totally reasonable for you to be feeling like that. Don't worry it will pass though I am sure.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jun 2008
    in the eye of a toddler tornado
    2,450

    I still feel a bit that way at 21 weeks, with bub crashing around in there pretty unmistakably. I was very slow to tell a lot of people this time and before I had told everyone it was even more surreal than it is now.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Add ~Lashes~ on Facebook

    Aug 2010
    south eastern melbourne
    2,533

    if it makes you feel better, i still feel like that now at 33 weeks. so no, your not the onmly one

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Add Sterla on Facebook

    Jun 2008
    Tasmania
    3,011

    I'm 27+ weeks and it still doesn't feel real...

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Nov 2007
    Country Vic - West of Ballarat
    1,568

    With my pregnancy with DD I had real problems trying to come to terms with the fact that it was really happening. Even after she was born I always felt as though she wasn't mine and it took a while to realise that she was here.

    This time around it feels more real but it helps having scans every 4 weeks so I can see what is happening, but there is no mistaking me being pregnant this time around by the size of me and also by the number of kicks and punches I get. I suppose having 2 in there makes it a bit more real..

  9. #9
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Apr 2009
    3,750

    I feel the same also.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    7,177

    I felt that way and still do every now and then...pregnancy is just one of those things that happened to other people and not me kwim? But now I'm feeling her move heaps and I know she's a girl, I feel a million times more connected to her now.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2010
    Happy Land
    319

    I'm 18 weeks & still feel the same, I had some bleeding at 11weeks but our scans show everything ok. We have our 18week scan this week & I am petrified that something is going to be wrong, I almost want to cancel the appointment. With DS I was super excited & all I wanted to talk about was babies & pregnancy, this time I just can't feel at ease. I'm suffering morning sickness & definitely showing now but it still doesn't feel real. I hope we can all start to feel better soon

  12. #12
    Registered User
    Add eza on Facebook

    Mar 2010
    beachmere, qld
    305

    Deep down I felt unattached pretty much the whole way through my pg. I didnt make my first appointment until I was 13 wks along and even with the scans and h/b's, it was amazing to hear and see them but it still never felt real until I was holding him in my arms. For me I think it was because he wasn't planned plus the stress of a m/c the year before. It is a very common feeling so try not to worry too much about it. Everything will change once you see and hold your bubba. Good luck with the rest of your pg!!

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    Victoria
    4,601

    With Moo I felt exactly the same, couldn't fathom that there was actually a baby in there. I felt like something was going to go wrong the whole way through. Every scan I had I'd tell DH that this was the one where they'd tell us it was over. I don't think I accepted it until I finally held him in my arms.

    I hope you start to feel more attached but if you don't, that's normal too

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Member
    Add xXHopeXx on Facebook

    Jan 2010
    Penrith, NSW
    1,075

    I'm over 38 weeks pregnant and still am having trouble believing it's real! I keep thinking it's too good to be true and that something HAS to happen because things never go right for me..

    I guess I won't believe it til I have her in my arms!

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    I thought your boobs looked bigger but was too polite to mention it

    I think it's kinda normal. Maybe once you can feel your baby kicking the crap outta you you'll contect more...
    I mostly felt pretty meh about it with DD... Kept forgetting I was pregnant (though towards the end it does get a bit hard to ignore). And with DS I imagined there was a kitten in there (just couldn't imagine a baby, you konw?)

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Ouiinslano
    5,303

    I couldn't accept it, and didn't widely announce it until 19 weeks, and even then, leaked it by stealth. I couldn't handle the gushing congratulations, and like you, didn't enjoy talking about it with anyone. But on the inside, couldn't think of anything else, and between 15 and 20 weeks I started to bond, then at 24 weeks there was this explosion of love, and I more than caught up on that lack of acceptance.

    I think it's pretty normal... or maybe I'm a wack job?! I'm not surprised either way.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Oct 2009
    SW Sydney
    409

    Oh sooo good to know I'm not alone!!
    This is exactly how I'm feeling.
    We've been telling people and they're all so excited. I feel like a fraud. I keep watching the DVD of the 12 week scan, and I just cannot believe that's inside me!
    I keep trying to talk to it like I did my angel, but that feels so fake too.
    Maybe I should find out the gender at 18 wks just to help with bonding.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  18. #18
    Registered User

    May 2006
    Igglepiggle Land
    2,742

    You are certainly not alone gorgeous (beautiful Avvy too hun).

    It took up until the 24 wk mark for it to really sink into me this time around, so I 100% understand where you're coming from.

    Big hugs!

12