Early Loss

[Caz_88]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the site after looking for forums on miscarriage, I've just lost my first preg at 4w (on valentines day). We weren't trying to conceive and I was on the pill, in fact I didnt know I was pregnant until I was told I was miscarrying. I was surprised by my doctors reaction, "oh its early, you'll be fine, go home and rest, come back if you get a fever, heavy bleeding or a pos preg test next week..." but I think that my shock had mainly to do with being told I was pregnant... My questions concerning this are mainly about what is normal... I've been an absolute emotional mess... crying at the drop of a hat... even though im not a very emotional person, I have no appetite and feel constantly slightly nauseous. I feel that I am massively over reacting... since I didnt know what I had until after I lost it. I have no female influence in my life that had gone through this and so I have nothing to guage my reaction too... any guidance on this would be hugely appreciated...

Caz

[~Hestia~]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's a lot to deal with all at once. Welcome to BB, I'm sure you'll find a huge support here.

For what it's worth, I had a miscarriage last month so can understand what you're going through. You're not over reacting at all

[mummylion]

So sorry Caz, it's all a lot to take in. I too have been there and likely am as we speak, your reactions are completely normal, everyone here is amazing, take care

[Jaycee]

Firstly, I'm very sorry for your loss

It is completely normal for you to be feeling the way you do right now, you are not over reacting, you just lost a little bub, even if you didn't know you were pregnant before it happened, that doesn't take away from the fact that you've had a loss, and you need to deal with it however you can.

More be kind to yourself
xxx

[Caz_88]

Thankyou for your support everyone,

We're slowing working through this together... and I dont think I could have a more caring partner... I am also so happy that I have found such a loving and caring forum, and I hope you get to know you all better as I start my TTC journey later this year
:-)

Caz

[ubba82]

Caz,
Im so sorry to read of your loss xx
A loss is a loss wether you were TTC or completely unaware of your little persons existence.
I too have experienced a mc, i was heartbroken. It wasnt a planned pregnancy but didnt make it any less hard to deal with.
Im happy you have a supportive partner.
Look forward to seeing you around xx

[forshelby]

I too experienced an early loss (8 weeks). That pregnancy was unplanned also, but definitely not unwanted. I hope you find all the support you need here to get you through this very sad time. Don't let anyone tell you you're overreacting, and allow yourself time to grieve.

The women here are wonderful and if it wasn't for their understanding and support, I don't know how I would have dealt with my own loss. We're all here for you if you have any questions or just want to talk about it with people who understand.

[harley27]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the site after looking for forums on miscarriage, I've just lost my first preg at 4w (on valentines day). We weren't trying to conceive and I was on the pill, in fact I didnt know I was pregnant until I was told I was miscarrying. I was surprised by my doctors reaction, "oh its early, you'll be fine, go home and rest, come back if you get a fever, heavy bleeding or a pos preg test next week..." but I think that my shock had mainly to do with being told I was pregnant... My questions concerning this are mainly about what is normal... I've been an absolute emotional mess... crying at the drop of a hat... even though im not a very emotional person, I have no appetite and feel constantly slightly nauseous. I feel that I am massively over reacting... since I didnt know what I had until after I lost it. I have no female influence in my life that had gone through this and so I have nothing to guage my reaction too... any guidance on this would be hugely appreciated...

Caz

[dory]

Caz - how are you doing today? I am so sorry about your miscarriage... it is devastating. In my experience, the news rocks your world, and for a while you're not really sure just where you fit in and even how to process everything at once. I am glad your partner is supportive and you are working your way through the emotional aftermath. I am glad you're already thinking of TTC again.

I had an early miscarriage at about 8 weeks. Even though the pregnancy was wanted, perhaps the timing wasn't quite what I expected. I remember just being so frightened initially at the BFP, then excited. I was surprised at how much I cried and how vulnerable I was. I did heal though.... so you will get through these hard times.

It was a lot to take in all at once, being told you were miscarrying.... and not realising you were pregnant. In a way sweetie, that's harder, because you have to process both being pregnant and a loss all at once.

It doesn't matter when you lose a baby, it is a loss - a loss of your little one to be, a loss of your dreams and aspirations to be a parent to the little one who is gone. Grieve as you need to, it is important to mark the life and death of your little one. Fly free little angel.... your mummy loves you.

I hope that you didn't need any intervention to help your miscarriage. In a way your Dr was right - you will be fine.... but maybe a bit more care and concern could have gone into supporting you at this time. I didn't know about the positive pregnancy test next week criteria though...

I hope you are healing both physically and emotionally.

Go gently... and looking forward to hearing some "positive" news soon.

[Tegam]

In a way sweetie, that's harder, because you have to process both being pregnant and a loss all at once.
.

such a wise lady and so true! hugs to you and welcome to bellybelly