so we decided to try and have a family day today....we went to a play park, then walked up to a nearby Hogs Breath cafe and had lunch, which the kids thought was so fun (they even got little colouring in papers which kept them entertained) and then on the way home, we bought them ice creams.
but before we bought them ice creams, whilst driving DS was just naggy. 'im so hot, please can we have ice cream when we get home?' on and on. in the end we gave up and got them ice creams (only because we were trying to have a nice time) and said 'now when we get home, no nagging or whingeing for food, and no fighting please.' we seriously hadn't been home more than 10 minutes before DS said 'please can i have something to eat!?' we said no, we just went out to lunch and also bought you ice cream, it's quiet time now, don't nag us. This resulted in a big tantrum and him being put on time out. then afterwards he started having a few little tantrums about other things....he's nearly 6, but sometimes he acts like an overtired 2 year old, when you know they're ready to go down for a nap!! i know it doesn't sound like much, but if any of you knew DS irl and knew how full on and relentless he can be, you would know how much it can very quickly turn you in a bad mood and kind of ruin the day
so anyway....it's still been a nice day, but just wondering if anyone else has similar problems with their kids? and bear in mind, this isn't a one-off, this is nearly all the time we go out and try and have a nice time, the kids keep whingeing and nagging for more. it's just annoying cause we don't have that much money, so we can't just keep buying them things! grrrr. anyway.....are we alone, or do a lot of families go through this? and any advice?
My thought, well since I was about 17 and worked on checkouts really, is although I'm not a parent (yet!) kids look so tired these days, and I think I read in some article that Australian babies get the least amount of sleep or something as well.
Anyway I have always thought kids looked tired at the checkout, was when it first occurred to me, there would be Mums shopping after picking up their kids from child care, and it would be about 7 or 8pm on a Thursday night..
I think it is fairly common for children to ask for things when out, especially if they usually get them. If whinging usually works then they will keep doing it. My suggestion would be explaining before you go out that there will be nothing bought on te outing and stick to it. Perhaps pack something plain in case they are actually hungry. If you are planning a treat, be really specific about what it will be and when they will get it. It will take a while to break the habbit. If you give in, you'll have to start all over again. A strategy for at home that a friend uses is to pack a lunch box with mooring tea, lunch and afternoon tea and set times for eating and stick with it. It has helped with her child who was constanting whining for food, but not really eating it.
um yes today has been the same for us, we went to look at a new fridge and also to the shops to return my mobile phone that isnt working. My 4 1/2 year old was grumpy before we went out whining and carrying on how she didnt want to go, then whining about her shoes etc. They were good out for about 1 hr, they were tired we did have lunch and it was about 12.30pm. My 2 1/2 yr old cracked it and wouldnt stop even though she was in the pram, so we had to leave, but then we had to go look at a fridge so she was even worse then, we had a snack and drinks but the whining from both did not stop, and then we got home around 2.30 and put them to bed for a rest, the 4 1/2 year old whining for about 30mins I want this / I want that, I dont like this that etc.. Thankfully now they are both sleeping as they are knackered. It may just be today due to the heat? I dont know... but I understand how trying it is
I agree with the consistency thing. My kids don't get treats if they whinge or even ask for them. I can't bear the thought of every shopping trip / outing turning into forking out money for a spoilt child. We were brought up this way and I'm happy to raise my family this way. We didn't suffer for lack of treats, in fact we got plenty. DD will get a treat when I think she's been particularly good, or just a a surprise, but by no means would she have one at every outing. This means she is truly appreciative when she does get something and it's even nicer for us as parents. Unfortunately it will mean putting up with some whingeing while your kids get used to the new rules.
I think outings are always tough because they are a change in routine and this can unsettle kids. Also there is the tired factor - DS2 can go from happy dream angel to champion tanty-thrower in the space of a minute when he gets tired. I also find that both boys react to sugar so usually treats like ice-cream lead to tears not long later.
I often expect my kids to behave more grown up than they are!!! I know it sounds silly but we went out to lunch today and it was too late, they were tired and too hungry so it was a mess before we even started. Outings here are often over hyped which means the kids are too excited and wound up before we go. I try to remember that we are interrupting their routine and that may have consequences!!! Like a PP I had tried to wind back the treats as it was like a never ending stream of treats which was not ever appreciated. It took some time to change the expectation but it is much more workable - we also have a set treat after kinder on Tuesday which is something to work towards and a certainty ITMS...this has stopped the constant nagging in its tracks!
I totally hear you...I've had this problem off and on with my eldest DD. Sometimes it seems no matter where we go or what we do it's just not good enough, or she wants even more, she has to moan and scowl and complain and argue. It really presses my buttons, when I was a kid we were really poor and it was a huge treat to be taken anywhere or bought anything at all. I would never have dreamed of making a fuss. As they get a bit older it can help sometimes if you give them some money, and they have to choose what they want, once the money is spent it is spent. It makes it easier for them to understand that you don't have a bottomless wallet.
I have to mention we dont always have issues with them out, but today has been very bad, and even now after a sleep my 4 1/2 year old is stillr really whiny and grumpy so it either must be heat or she woke up in another bad mood? nothing seems to make her happy today.
Belle - it hard getting jobs done with the kids, especially more than one thing that requires adults to talk about stuff!!! My girls are similar ages and they often prefer to hang out at home doing their own thing. xxx
yep same here. although the tantrums also happen DURING the outing. we took the girls out for dinner on valentines day with us and it was the worst night out EVER! the whole time was a stressful, frustrating experience.! kind of depressing in a way. :-/
I was out with dd after a great lunch, we went into the supermarket and she had a meltdown just as we ran into the director of her child care centre. I was so embarrased!
Trying to co-ordinate a good day around more than one child when you have to factor in hunger/tiredness/boredom/etc. is next to impossible! So you have my sympathy .
My kids don't often have tanties about buying treats because I just don't buy them LOL! (Gee I sound mean ) The kids don't expect them and don't think to ask. If they do ask, I give them a quick "no" and change the subject. They just find other things to tanty about instead .
I was going to say about ice cream - my DS1 who is 6 does not handle all the sugar in ice cream and if he has it, his behaviour completely changes. He becomes extremely hyperactive, badly behaved and is much more prone to melt downs. Unfortunately for him, he rarely has had it, but it's better for all of us if he doesn't.
Kids can just drive you insane some days, mine sure do!!!
Totally happens here - not all the time, but sometimes the best plans go wayward when the little ones are involved. Big hugs darl, I understand your frustration. xx
Happens here all the time... kids cant live with them couldnt live without them...
I have found my kids know who to pull it on... they are alot worse when H is here, and with a few aunts and Nanny, they know with them if they are a pain in the butt they will get stuff, they learnt today with the aunty who looked after them she is too much like me lol...
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Family outings getting ruined.....
i know it doesn't sound like much, but if any of you knew DS irl and knew how full on and relentless he can be, you would know how much it can very quickly turn you in a bad mood and kind of ruin the day
) The kids don't expect them and don't think to ask. If they do ask, I give them a quick "no" and change the subject. They just find other things to tanty about instead
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