Hi ladies, just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. My DD2 is about 3 1/4 and has been toilet training for probably 5 months now. She "clicked" with her wees just before Christmas and has been pretty good for the last 2 months - we rarely have wee accidents. But we have yet to get any poos in the potty/toilet She's quite happy to do wees in any toilet or a potty, just won't even try to do a poo.
She is quite happy to do them in her knickers and often will not even tell me that she's done it. We spent this past weekend on "operation poo". Basically we stayed home, took her knickers off and spent 2 days trying to catch a poo She normally does one each morning soon after breakfast and sometimes another one in the afternoon. Result of the weekend was that she held onto it for the whole time, until we went to the in-laws for dinner last night - because she had her knickers on, she then proceeded to do 3 in the space of an hour We've been talking about how poos go in the potty for months and she'll happily tell everyone she meets that that's where they go, just won't actually do it! We've also promised her a new Dorothy DVD (her choice!) as soon as she does it - this usually prompts a run to the potty/toilet and sitting there for a while, but no results.
So, any ideas to help?? We tell her that big girls do their poos in the potty, she has seen her big sister and DH and I all do it , we tell her how proud everyone would be of her (including any character that happens to be on TV, her kindy teachers, the next door neighbour etc!), promised her new knickers of her choice, DVD bribery as above, told her that her poo wants to go and have a party in the toilet with all the other poos, all to no avail. She likes the concept of it going "plop" in the toilet, but because she watches me empty it out of her knickers into the toilet, she seems to think that's enough
I so want this sorted out!! Not only am I sick to death of cleaning poo-ey knickers and clothes (some just get thrown out!) but we're going to Fiji at Easter and I really don't want her to be still doing it at the kids club there.
A GF told me a poo story which helped my DS2 a little bit, it goes like this
A mother took her son to the psychologist and explained he would not poo in the toilet.
The Psychologist had a conversation with the boy and explained about a poo party, had he heard of it?
He explained that Mummy and Daddy's poo were in the toilet and his sister's poo was in the toilet all having a party.
Their poo's were sad as his poo was missing out on the poo party.
Apparently the little boy went home and did a poo on the toilet.
It sort of worked for my DS. The other thing is perhaps a reward chart. So when she has done 5 poo's in row in the toilet she gets a reward. Someone in here gave me the excellent idea of a reward box, it can have anything in it like a $2 toy from the toy shop to her favourite treat.
You need to see if you can find out why she isn't doing poo in the toilet, is she scared? Does it hurt?
You could try an offer her a nappy even to poo in, and then see if she will sit on the toilet to poo in her nappy to start with?
The concept of pooing sitting down is quite strange to some kids as when they poo in their nappy, they are usally standing up and busy and keep doing whatever activity they are doing.
It's hard going, I am still having the odd poo issue with my DS2.
No experience with this whatsoever but was wondering would this maybe work?
What if she got some really lovely dora knickers or something she REALLY likes & you explained to her that unfortunately if she poos in them then mummy has to throw them out because they are then dirty and she will have to just have plain ones?
BUT if she goes to the toilet instead of in her knickers she can keep wearing them again & again as mummy doesn't have to throw them out?
Lissy, I've already thrown out some of her favourite Dora knickers because they were so disgusting and, while it upset her, it didn't convince her!! She really wants Tinkerbell knickers though, which I've promised I'll get her when she starts doing it - maybe I'll get them for her and try to convince her to keep them clean
Heather, I've tried the poo party thing. It worked well with her when she was protesting about going to kindy - her shoes wanted to go and have a party with the other shoes (man, the things we do for our children ) but no go for the poo's. She doesn't seem scared about it as she'll happily run and "try" when I mention the new DVD she wants, I think it's more the unknown factor - as you said, it's weird for her to do it sitting down.
Ah well, guess I just have to wait for it to click. *Keeps calm, breathes deeply*
Regarding the new knickers..... When dd decided going to the toilet took up too much time we let her pick a gift, bought it and put it on display!!!
This really helped rather than just the promise of something nice. She would see them and say no accidents and we would count down days till she could have it, just to keep referring to it.
Don't forget big HUGE praise too.... Better than any gift!
I can completely empathise. DS (3 1/2 and still TT) is exactly the same. His favourite trick was to run into his room (or any other room for that matter) and barricade the door so that we could not get in and he could then do his poo in the privacy. It took me a while to realise that in some cases he was deliberately being naughty, just so he could get sent to his room to do time out, which he would then use as an opportunity to do a poo in secret. My lightbulb moment occurred when he said 'I've been naughty mummy, I have to go to my room' (when he hadn't been naughty at all) and proceeded to go to his room and began closing the door. At that point I was able to pick him up (protesting) and sit him on potty in the bathroom. I then swore black and blue that I would close the door to the bathroom and not come in until he had done the poo and left him in the room by himself. Funnily enough, it worked. He will now poo in potty but he insists on complete privacy-even at kindergarten-which is very funny because they have to clear the entire toilet room out of staff and children before he will even sit down. Don't know whether your DD may want the privacy, but it may be worth a try-especially if you seeing her she trying to hide while she does a BM. Getting the first poo in the potty was definitely the hardest, but I find now that every time he gets another one in, he gains confidence. We also continue to be locked out of the bathroom but are called in after each poo to inspect it and praise Doing a No.2 can therefore take upward of 15 minutes, punctuated by doors opening and shutting and inspecting the poos as they land in the potty, but it is definitely worth it not to be changing nappies/dirty pants.
Chef - isn't it funny what clicks with some kids! Great that you worked that out. I don't think privacy is the issue for her - she's quite happy to do it anywhere Often it will be when she's by herself but in the same room as the whole family. Unfortunately she doesn't really give any signs that it's coming so we can't catch it.
Smudgies_mum, thanks! I think I'll take her out tomorrow to get them. We've had daycare etc for the past couple of days so tomorrow to Sunday is "Operation Poo take 2" Hopefully having them in front of her is extra incentive! We do lots of whooping and dancing still with her wees (even though they're good now) and tell her how we'll do a special poo dance when she gets it in the potty
2girls - just wondered how your DD2 is going with poo-in-the-loo. I'm also crashing your thread too (rather than start another with exactly the same problem) in the hope maybe someone else has some advice on how to get a toddler to poo in the toilet.
I am having EXACTLY the same issue you have described with my DS1 - he's excellent weeing on the loo, but stubborn as hell about poo. Will only poo them in his jocks, which drives DH and I nuts
I'm having trouble keeping my temper - particularly when it's mushy poo. Yuck yuck yuck. Give me a pooey nappy ANY day I'm trying to keep it all in perspective - it's not something to get cranky about - but when we're about to head out to door to go to a swimming lesson, and DS1 drops a shocking mushy #2 in his daks ... well, I'd challenge anyone not to get cranky!
I'll try the poo party idea, but the reward concept isn't making any difference to DS1.
Hi Andie, I've been meaning to come back and update but never quite got there! I'm very pleased to report that we seem to have solved the problem My girlfriend had a similar problem with her son and gave me her solution which was to write a book for her. Essentially, it's a little story about "The adventures of DD2 and the toilet" It starts with a few pages about DD2 and her family, where she lives, her kindy teachers, what she likes doing, her favourite toys etc etc. Then goes into how she's been doing really well at getting her wees in the toilet but doesn't do too well with her poos. But this makes her knickers all yucky and mummy has to throw them in the bin! Oh No! So one day, she decides to do her poos in the toilet instead. She tells mummy that she feels a poo coming and we all go to the toilet. Mummy holds her hand so she won't be scared and she pushes the poo into the toilet. It goes plop and we flush it away. Shoo Poo! She's very proud of herself as she washes her hands and wants to all her poos in the toilet from now on.
I just printed out the words in big type and stuck them into a little book with a cardboard cover and A4 pages folded in half. DD1 illustrated it for me (it's very cute!!) and DD2 thought it was fantastic! Within a couple of days she started saying "I feel a poo coming" and just went to the toilet and did it!! Quite amazing actually, it's still a favourite book for her, she likes just reading it to herself.
Anyway, it sounds over the top and reading it aloud on the plane to Fiji was interesting but it worked so I'm a happy woman! We still have an accident maybe once a week but it seems to have worked amazingly well. She's got all her new Hi-5 knickers now and is so proud of herself Oh, and she won't do it in the potty, has to be the toilet so double yay!!
Good luck! I totally sympathise so hope this works for you too. Rewards helped but this personalised book seemed to make it click for her.
I'm also 'crashing' this thread! We're also having 'poo issues' with our DD. Your stories all sound sooo familiar it's very reassuring that we're not the only ones and that it will eventually 'click'!
Our DD 2 1/2 was great at potty for wee's and actually did a few poo's and we did the same as you all heaps of 'yay's and high fives' etc etc but alas it was only a few poos in the potty and then reverted to poo in knickers...very frustrating!
Now since having her older cousins over a bit more and I guess watching them she is now slowly telling me she has to use the toilet for wees which is a huge step so I'm wrapt, but still no poo! I think it has to be the whole sitting down thing being weird for a poo. At least now she comes and asks me for a nappy and I ask if she needs a poo, she'll say yes, I'll say potty or toilet, she'll say no so we put a nappy on. So at least no more yukky knickers and I guess we're getting there that she knows it's coming so think I'll try the reward chart and the book suggested, being a book LOVER I think the book will work best.
Thanks for all your tips and honesty, it's great to come in here and see others going through the same thing!! Good luck everyone....may the poo be with you haha!!
So sick of cleaning up poo!! :(
She's quite happy to do wees in any toilet or a potty, just won't even try to do a poo.
She normally does one each morning soon after breakfast and sometimes another one in the afternoon. Result of the weekend was that she held onto it for the whole time, until we went to the in-laws for dinner last night - because she had her knickers on, she then proceeded to do 3 in the space of an hour 
We've been talking about how poos go in the potty for months and she'll happily tell everyone she meets that that's where they go, just won't actually do it! We've also promised her a new Dorothy DVD (her choice!) as soon as she does it - this usually prompts a run to the potty/toilet and sitting there for a while, but no results. 
, we tell her how proud everyone would be of her (including any character that happens to be on TV, her kindy teachers, the next door neighbour etc!), promised her new knickers of her choice, DVD bribery as above, told her that her poo wants to go and have a party in the toilet with all the other poos, all to no avail. She likes the concept of it going "plop" in the toilet, but because she watches me empty it out of her knickers into the toilet, she seems to think that's enough 
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I feel your pain. I wrote your post 12mths ago!
Doing a No.2 can therefore take upward of 15 minutes, punctuated by doors opening and shutting and inspecting the poos as they land in the potty, but it is definitely worth it not to be changing nappies/dirty pants.
My girlfriend had a similar problem with her son and gave me her solution which was to write a book for her. Essentially, it's a little story about "The adventures of DD2 and the toilet" 
Oh, and she won't do it in the potty, has to be the toilet so double yay!!
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