My little one is 16 days old and we haven't got breast feeding established partly due to the pain factor but mostly now due to plain difficulty of getting him attached properly. I am expressing around the clock for feeds in the hope that I can get BF established in the near future. I'm now seeing a couple of different services to get support for BF but I find that I can do it with the LC support but not when I get home. I just can't get the attachment right. The whole thing sees me just end up in tears.
The stress is beginning to affect the bond I have my bub but I'm not ready to give up on BF just yet. I"m not sure how much longer I can go on trying to get the attachment right.
Does anyone have any stories of hope for late establishment of attachment? I'm worried that I will have to make a decision of either remaining an expresser or having to move onto FF.
Its so tough in those early days hun but it will get better...have you tried nipple shields? Have you spoken to the ABA? they have a hotline you can ring and maybe you could see a lactation consultant. Hopefully Barb will come in and give you some wonderful advice xx
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It can take a while to get things sorted, unfortunately. My DS was the same - always performing well for the LCs
Perhaps you could get a recommendation for another LC? Sometiems you ahve to see a few bbefore you find one who somehow knows just what you need. You can also try the ABA (if you haven't already) - 1800-686-2-686 or in person at your local group meetings.
Have you tried infant-led attachment? Basically you lay baby between your breasts and let him find his own way. They're hard wired to find their way to the breast and latch on and often when things aren't workign well getting back to basics like this can really help. Try this ABA LINK for details.
It can take a while to get things working right. With DS it was 11 weeks before he could attach comfortably and I used nipple shields for much of that time. I hope you get there soon
Oh Lisa B you poor thing. I can so relate to the pain you are currently going through. But would urge you to keep going as it WILL all come together - might not be tomorrow or the next week but it will happen. If you do a search under my name you will see the ridulous numbers of posts I did about establishing breast feeding with my LO and also just how supportive everyone on here was.
I just couldn't get DS to actually suck when he did attach so we had low weight gains and a very sleepy baby that I had to wake to feed. As a result of him not sucking my supply dried up so ended up expressing round the clock to restore supply. Very very tiring but worth it if you want to persevere. The LC I saw also got me to get a script from my doctor for Motillium which helps build supply. You are doing the right thing by seeing an LC and most of them will also give you phone support after they have seen you.
Where I am in NSW there was also breast feeding support groups run by the local health services that I could drop into and I would also suggest contacting the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) they have a 24 hour support line that you can ring for those times that it all becomes too much. Their number is 1800 686 2 686 or 1800 mum 2 mum. They are national. They also have local support groups which meet up on regular basis and when you phone the help line they can give you the contact number for your local leader. If you are suffering pain on attachment it would normally mean that the attachment isn't correct so it might be worth while considering a nipple shield until your baby is a little bit bigger. I used one until DS was about 3 months old.
I would like to think I am a prime example of how perseverence can pay off. DS is 18 months old and we are only now looking to stop breastfeeding. Down to 1 feed in the morning now which I think he is now ready to drop. It really can work and I personally I think it can make it so much more special if it doesn't come easy as you know then that all the hard work paid off.
In saying that a happy Mummy is the best Mummy and they are only little for such a short time so if you continue to try and it isn't working and you find it too upsetting them its the best thing to maybe comp feed or switch to formula. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your special little baby.
Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat more.
Hi,
It is so distressing when circumstances mean your baby doesn't attach well to the breast. I'm sure that if you wanted to share with us there is a *story* behind what you are currently experiencing. It is my firmly held belief (from a lot of experience) that with tme and patience all babies will go to the breast. It often takes time and patience to get to that point - but it will happen. It can help to do some detective work to find out what the problem is, and then enlist some expert help to help you find the solution. Often mums feel like they are in a pressure cooker - having to get it right - quickly. People often tell a new mum *you have to make a decision* - but the fact is, you don't. You have time on your side.
My DS was attaching properly but would fall asleep within a few minutes only to wake not long after and want to continue the feed. Nothing I did helped (like stripping him, tickling him, changing his nappy (or pretending to do so) etc). I decided to express (I had already bought a pump before DS was born) and fed him exclusively from the bottle from about week 2 until he was 2 months old. Then I got sick of the time doubling up (expressing time and then feeding time with bottle) so one day out of the blue (when he was 2 months old) I decided to breastfeed him.
He got it pretty quickly and I just had to get past the pain factor (of the sensitive nipples) which subsided after 3 days. I almost gave up in those first couple of days and would cringe if he came off or before I attached him because of the pain I knew I was going to go through. Sure enough though after 3 days it was much much better and by the end of the week, no pain at all.
We still gave him one bottle of EBM at night before bed.
We continued until he was 7 months old.
So, in summary, my DS just proves it is possible that you can express and feed exclusively from the bottle from such a young age and for 2 months and then reestablish breastfeeding.
In saying this I would recommend that you continue to try to resolve the problem/s and push through (there is light at the end of the tunnel) but if it doesn't work I wouldn't get too upset about expressing. You are still giving your baby your breastmilk. Try to enjoy the closeness that you still have when bottle feeding the breast milk. Afterall, it's still your milk that you are giving them and you still have to work hard to get it.
Thanks for sharing and giving me some hope. I did about 3-4 feeds today using a nipple shield and the infant led style. I'm still not sure if the attachment is correct because bub was very fussy and throwing himself off during the feeds. At the end of most feeds I ended up giving a little EBM. I guess it's a start. I'm also seeing another LC tomorrow so hoping it goes well.
Nes - gosh 2 months on the pump, you are a champ! I take heart in the pain dulling down after 3 days for you.
Clover - 10 weeks, wow good on you for pushing on.
Barb - thanks for reinforcing that time is on my side.
NW3 - I've just started exploring the nipple shield and today did some feeds with it and found the attachment so much easier. I did have a MCHN tell me that be careful because they can use it like a dummie so I still feel a bit confused if it is the right thing or not.
MadB - yes as I mentioned to NW3 I've just started trying with the nipple shields. Lol...yes it always seems much easier when with the LC. I'm trying someone else tomorrow so crossing my fingers...so exxy! Oh, and I've also been doing some of the infant led attachment today and I've got him on but I'm not sure if it is a good attachment or not as he throws himself off after about 10 minutes.
Boomba - nipple shields seems to be a common theme here!
I wouldn't worry about any problems arising from them. You could have more problems with a bottle then a sheild, because the flow is faster & they don't have to work as hard, so they start to prefer the bottle, but this isn't always the case!
I had the same problems with all mine, but with DD1 & DD2 I gave up. I had no support to push on.
With DS I had that help & support. With both him & DD3 our problems (cracks etc non stop) just disappeared when they were 5 kgs. It was 6 weeks for DS & 10 weeks for DD.
Hi,
To me, a nipple shield is just like any other tool we use to ultimately get breastfeeding happening. It's good to get some-one to check your technique when using one, but if you can hear swallowing and if you can see milk in the shield, and your breasts are feeling softer after a feed, and your little one is weeking and pooing, then it's working just fine. Nipple shields often allow a baby who has been prem or has had a difficult birth to breastfeed, where the next alternative would be to express and perhaps bottle feed. Most mothers use it with their baby for a short time and then don't need it any more. LCs seem expensive, but if they help you achieve successful breastfeeding the cost is very moderate. You are probably doing better with your little one that you even know
We didn't have attachment issues, but BF was SO painful. Everyone said it was all going fine and they didn't know why I was getting the grazing. I had to just grin and bear it and then when the grazing finally fully healed without coming back, it was all perfect! It took the full 6 weeks for me to actually feel that we had achieved breastfeeding itms?
DD was feeding every 20minutes, I never left the couch, and she just cried all the time, I really felt like there was something wrong, but that 6 week mark was some kind of magic turning point.
You are doing so well, and good on you for keeping it up! Just hang in there, use plenty of lanolin on your nipples, get a shield if you need, use every tool you can, and you will get there!
Thought I would just give an update. I saw the LC today and she kind of went with my style of getting DS on the breast and supported the use of the nipple shield for at least the next couple of weeks. So far we've had 2 BF today including when the LC visited. I'm still not sure why DS is grizzly after the feeds and throws himself off every 10 minutes or so. When I feed EBM via bottle he usually goes to sleep after the feeds so I'm not sure what is going on.
I'm aiming to finish the day out with BF and try at least one overnight.
Well done you're doing great. One step (feed) at a time is the best way to approach it. Good to hear the nipple shields seem to be helping. As Barb said they're a tool that can be used to get breast feeding started and hopefully at some stage in the future you won't need to use them. Once we were a few weeks in my LC used to try to get me to slip it off once he was sucking away - worked sometime and didn't work others! (Mainly worked when she was there - lol!). So I just continuing using them until one day we were both confident enough not to use them any more.
I couldn't finish the day out yesterday with BF due to DS refusing to take the breast. I was very disappointed, frustrated and had a cry when I was expressing. The good news is that I did 2 feeds overnight very easily instead of expressing. Today I did 2 BF in the morning - 1 with the hospital LC. This afternoon I had issues with DS thrashing in the afternoon but he was overall a bit more receptive to the breast than he was yesterday afternoon. So, I have been BF all day with probably 3/4 feeds.
The LC has suggested that i offer top up feeds with EBM as DS weight gain wasn't quite up to scratch. I really want to get off the express train but it seems it will take a bit longer.
BellyBelly Member
Need some hope right now
Its so tough in those early days hun but it will get better...have you tried nipple shields? Have you spoken to the ABA? they have a hotline you can ring and maybe you could see a lactation consultant.
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