How on earth do you do it?

[~Hestia~]

Being pregnant with a toddler that is

In all seriousness, I have no idea how I'm going to get through the days. My little guy is a handful he likes to be busy & active. He wants my undivided attention every waking minute. He likes me to do everything for him.

When DH works he is gone for 14 hours, he does night shift as well where I need to keep Moo relatively quiet. I'm basically a single parent for the 6 days he is on shift. So that started yesterday & I've been on my own for 2 days so far.

I'm now 6 weeks pregnant, m/s is getting worse everyday, I'm exhausted, I can't be bothered. Moo jumps all over my sore boobs, won't let me lay down for 5 mins on the couch, has tantrums because we're not going out as much.

I have to organise meals because DH is not here, but I can barely stand up to actually make anything. Moo is getting frozen fish n chips, 2 minute noodles, baked beans etc for dinner & I feel like a terrible mother.

I don't know what I'm asking & I'm sorry if I sound petty. But I genuinely have no idea how to get through these first weeks! Does anyone have any tips for me on how to make things easier?

[DANNIIM]

Sorry no wise words here but we are just coming out the other side of the MS. I was thinking the same as you i was waking up to DS2 in the middle of the night (several times) nearly passing out, it was just the pits. He has now decided to start sleeping through now that i'm coming good. I think you just manage or learn to or something, i kept focusing on the thought that i'll be right by 10 - 12 weeks. Possibly if you feel better early on in the day you could prep dinner so it's not such a chore late in the arvo, i done that a few times.

GL

[Catastrophic]

Enforce a nap time/resting time for you in the middle of the day, That is your DS has a nap (if he still has one) or a quiet movie time in bed with mummy, so that you can get a rest, It helped sooo much when i was pregnant, it ment for two hours of the day I got to just relax.
Otherwise, Congratulatioms you will get through it :-D

[Winter]

Hugs CheezelMonster. I know how you are feeling, but it does get better. Just got to hang in there until the 2nd trimester energy kicks in. Don't worry about Moo, I know what you mean about feeling like a bad mum when you feed them easy food (DD has had a few fish fingers and baked beans meals in her time!) but they survive. Do what you've got to do to get through it.

[mbear]

You do just learn to get thru each day i guess....i used to lie on the floor whilst mine watched a DVD, coloured in, or played with lego. I found snacking throughout the day got me thru, as did going to bed supa early...like 8pm some evenings. And as for the dinner - a few nights of fish fingers and two minute noodles are not going to see him suffer through his adulthood. Heck, we've all been there. I used to feel better within myself if i gave them a piece of fruit - mandarin, grapes - after dinner....at least they were getting some goodness.
And keep telling yourself...its doesnt last forever...it really doesnt. Taking him to the park, going on playdates, running around after your toddler you WILL be able to do in a few short weeks...

[Trillian]

You just do whatever it takes to make things even just a little it easier for you. When I was pg with #4, I had the 3 kids and while they obviously weren't as little as your DS, it was still tough because I had the worst m/s I'd ever had and my DH also did nightshifts as well. If I didn't feel up to preparing a decent meal at night, I would make sure I had plenty of healthy snacks on hand to make up for it. Or if I had a period of time during the day when I felt OK, I would get dinner prepared early so all I had to do was cook it, or reheat it. And I would also make enough to get an extra meal or two out of it for DH for work. To keep your DS entertained, try going to the park for a while so he can run off some energy and you can sit and watch him (we had several fully enclosed parks which made that so much easier). But it is only these first few weeks and then you should start feeling well enough to handle things a lot better

[Traveller]

When I got really bad I would lie down in bed with my 2yo and basically force him to have a nap. If he didn't fall asleep I at least got a few minutes to shut my eyes.

As for the meals, 2 minute noodles are great and if you chuck in a few veg (frozen, pre chopped ones) then they are not that bad for you. Frozen food was my saviour in fact, most of the time I couldn't stand cooking. Beans on toast is another fabulous dinner when you can't face cooking.

Playgroups were my other saviour. Heaps of toys and other children for mine to play with, and I got a sit down, tea and sympathy from the other mums.

[Party-of-five]

the only suggestion I can offer is hope like anything the next few weeks go really fast till you get some energy back I also used to prepare any food when I wasnt over come with MS even if it ment cooking dinner in the morning as I had afternoon sickness lol instead of morning.

[Traveller]

another saviour for me was daycare. I put my eldest in for 3 half days a week, and it made a huge difference to the energy I had for him when he was home.

[Madham]

You sound like me a few weeks ago, only just now am i coming good. My son lived on yoghurt, toasted sandwiches and fruit for almost a week. Dont feel bad you are doing the best you can. I am still having bad days but i have cut down work now after a few fainting episodes and am starting to feel better.

Movie in the afternoon was my saviour as my DS doesnt sleep every day.

Hope it passes for you soon.

[1pj]

oh i so hear you!luckily im now 22 weeks so passed the morning sickness but am still soooo tired i dont know seriously how people with more kids do it they need a medal!But i know with the first trimester i foudn it hard,i tried not to worry about the house so much and things and i rested when could,i dont know how im going to get threw the last 18 weeks either some days i feel i cant cope!

[TaRhLi.]

My saviour is ABC kids for DD who is just 18 months, I have it on all day and she will entertain herself most of the time. I was lucky I only had m/s for about 2 weeks, but as time has progressed and as I've gotten bigger it is very hard to do basic things with her ie: change nappies, get dressed - let alone get on the floor and play.

I just muddle through as best I can until DH gets home from work and luckily he takes on bath duties or DD would never have one as I can't reach over the bath edge. I look at it that so long as she is still happy and healthy then that's what matters and as she is stil little she will not remember me being a "bad mummy" during this time. I think it would be much harder to manage if she was say 3 upwards as they really need so much more stimulation and have more energy to burn.

Good luck and I hope you make it through..

[BekZ]

Just do what you have to get through the day. It is such a short period of time so let the house go, do simply meals, make sure you rest and don't over book yourself. A visit to the park, playing outside or running around the shops is a good outlet for both of you. All the best and remember..This too shall pass

[JennaJayen]

Sending you some huge *hugs*, been there with the bad MS and the clingy demanding toddler, and it does get easier (DS is now almost 28 months and will now usually go off and play on his own), then once bub is born you start all over again with a whole new problem of having 2 under the age of 3 who both want your undivided attention at the same time (it does get easier again though lol, you still get bad days/nights where you wonder WHY you wanted another one, but overall once some kind of regular routine/sleeping pattern in established it works really well and you discover that it really is possible to feed 2 kids at once while changing the TV channel, eating your food and being on BB a the same time )

No advice on what to do as I honestly can't remember what I did to keep DS occupied.

[Shanti]

I found the first trimester incredibly challenging as my MS started at 6wks and DD was only 20mths (from memory?) and very active so yeah I was really, really sick and tired alot of the time!! That was so hard vomiting every day and looking after her when all I wanted to do was stay in bed most days.... I had some good days though but most days I felt pretty rotten..... hardly could eat...let alone make her food to eat!! But we got there and you just do it because you have to and you don't really have a choice!! I would put on ABC2 for her more often than I normally would and so she got to watch lots of playschool etc while I lay on the couch resting and talking to her.
You can still interact with your child without having to sit on the floor with them and be really active etc..... I'd get her to bring puzzles over to the couch and we'd read ALOT!!! Lots of books.... in bed too!!

It gets easier, especially when your MS goes, you can be yourself again, but then I found it's hard now that I'm heavily pregnant from say 33 weeks it's become very tiring for me...... but I'm HUGE this time around too which isn't helping!!! My tummy is massive LOL.....

You'll get there One day at a time.

[Tegam]

LOL CheezleMonster....How do you do it......well what other choice do you have Mummys dont get sick days.....we need a better union

[JennaJayen]

LOL CheezleMonster....How do you do it......well what other choice do you have Mummys dont get sick days.....we need a better union

yeah that lol

[UntoldAngel]

LOL CheezleMonster....How do you do it......well what other choice do you have Mummys dont get sick days.....we need a better union

Yep. That.

I was wondering the same thing. My LO is 10months and he is really demanding of my attention and time. Hubby is a shift worker and like you I'm essentially a single parent on the days he is at work... It's hard. I don't know how people do it by themselves. I just hope it gets better in a couple of weeks