DH's parents came to visit today as they haven't seen DD for 3mths as they've been away travelling.... they made comments on how much she's grown since Feb etc. I commented on how she's in 'big girl undies' now and doing really well with that and how proud of her we are They made a comment about how that's handy for when the baby comes and FIL said "that's great, now we can take her away for the weekend as you've got another baby now".
DD is only 2.3yrs old.
I calmly and politely (very matter of factly ) said to them "oooh no, not yet, bit too little for that and besides I'd miss her too much.... there will be plenty of time for that later down the track". DD has never even spent an entire night away from us yet..... hours yes, but not a night let alone a weekend. I think she's too little. She hasn't even been left overnight with my Mum yet.
So what age was your youngest left with the grandparents for a weekend away?
I really don't think I'll be ready to allow DD to stay with the grandparents for a night and 2 days until she's 'at least' five or six!!!! am I mean??? I have to be comfortable with the decision right??
Hoping they don't bring it up again. I don't get why you have another baby then all of a sudden people think you can't wait to get rid of your eldest Besides if they want to see her, they can do it while enjoying our company aswell!
At the end of the day it is what you feel comfortable with. But if you have a non-clingy child who has a great relationship with the grandparent's I don't see what the issue it?? It is a lovely way for them to bond and enjoy some quality time together.
My children have been staying over grandparents houses from a very young age (DD1 was 2 months old her first time!). And no I am not a parent who doesn't love her children any less or wants to get rid of them all the time either. We have simply had functions over the years where it is not appropriate for children to join us so they sleep over the grandparents houses.
And they love it!Both the kids and the grandparents.
As for weekends away, the first time when we went away for a whole weekend DD1 was 3 and DS was 6 months - that was 2 nights, 2 days. Yes I missed them but I also enjoyed some quality time with DH.
If you trust and respect the grandparents then I say go ahead and do it!
My kids have done it from early on, dd1 was probably a few months old and was about 6months. It was harder for her as she hated to take a bottle. Haven't done it with Ds but it's hard to expect them to take all three.
I think it depends on the relationship they have with the grandparents as well as how you feel about it.
All three of mine were scn bubs and were used to being cared for by a tribe of people, it is something we have carried on with after they got home. It has meant dh and I could take a bit of time out together on the odd occasion and the girls get spoilt by nanna.
DD1 is 4.5 and never been away for the weekend..only overnight.
she was left overnight for the first time the night DD2 was born, so 2.4, DD2 was left overnight at 23 months
DD1 started staying overnight at 17 months & that's because DD2 was born. She loved it.
DD2 hasn't stayed overnight yet & that's because she doesn't cope being away from me or DF for long periods of time.
I don't think i would let DD1 stay a weekend till she was a little older, i'd miss her too much.
dd1 has spent one night away from me in her almost three years and that was the night i spent in hospital after having dd2. she hated it and asked me not to leave her again...bless. you have to feel ready and if its something neither of you are used to it probably wouldnt be as much fun as your inlaws think it would be for her.
for use we have had no choice, we have nofamily or close friends near us that could have her, i often wonder if my parents lived here if she would go and stay with them, but i doubt it really....like you said, id miss her too much!
I'm the same Shanti. DD1 has only been away from me the night DD2 was born and the next time probably won't be until number 3 comes along. I don't see the need this young. She has plenty of fun with them when they visit but we're not ready for overnight yet.
My DS had his first sleep over with my parents when he was about 10months old. He would have been still breastfeeding and co sleeping at that stage, I must have sent EBM along too, I can’t remember it very well. He did have a well established relationship with my Mum though, he spent a day with her a week at that stage. After he had weaned (at 14 months) he then had sleepovers at PIL too. My DD has only just had her first sleep over (at my parents) now that she is 2 1/2. I didn’t know why she didn’t have one earlier (she weaned at 22 months), I think we’ve all just been too busy and it’s been too hard to organise.
We see both sets of our parents very regularly and our children have well established relationships with all of them. The clincher for us though is that we trust them. Both sets of parents are very gentle with our kids. They would never let them become distressed about anything and are happy to co sleep with them if they need it (but they usually sleep really well at their grandparents houses. )
I personally think it’s really important for my children to have good strong relationships with other people, other than their parents, so I do what I can to make that happen. I know this might sound ridiculously morbid but I just think if anything ever happened to me there are already well established buffers in place and they will be OK.
The grandparents get so much out of it too. Small children (in small doses) can be invigorating for the body but especially for the mind. It keeps them young.
DD1 did not spend the night away from both DH and I (either one of us had her if the other went away) until she was almost 4. It was one night and my parents, that is our choice though. DD2 has stayed at home for one night without us, again our choice.
Its a personal thing. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing xo
ETA DD1 only stayed 2 nights at 5yo before that only one night
DD hasnt been anywhere overnight yet and Im not planning on it anytime soon (unless this baby decides to come at an innapropriate hour ofcourse lol... but even then, she will be staying home and my mum will be staying here).
I'm very similar to Epacris in my approach. My DS has had one night sleepovers with both sets of grandparents since he was about 3 months. Now he probably averages once a month at either house. For us it's not about babysitting but developing a close relationship.
He is totally the boss at both of their houses and co sleeps to his hearts content.
Once he was away for 2 nights at my parents place as we had a wedding away. It was less disruptive for him to stay the extra night rather than get him up early to drop him off.
Not sure about them going away from their homes with him.... We'd have to take it on a case by case basis but he'd probably need to be a little older yet. That being said, I can't see either sets of parents asking something like that. If they went away we'd probably go too.
DD stays over at my parents for a night probably every 4-6 weeks. She's still breastfeeding, sleeping in my bedroom and occasionally waking for night feeds but my parents and her have worked out their own groove too so it has never been an issue. She probably first went around 18 months? Can't quite remember! She loooooves staying at Grandma and Grandpa's, she sees them every few days so they are all very comfortable with eachother.
You're lucky they're offering. My kids have only been away from me and DH at the same time when I'm in labour. Other than that, never and it's likely that they never will be, though not by my choice. If I had someone I trusted enough, like my mum or dad or a best friend, I would do it in a heart beat, though DS2 is a frequent feeder so he couldn't go for a whole night, only a few hours. Once he could go for a night I would be offloading them for a night or two for sure! Time for DH and I to be alone, time for me to regather my sanity (or what's left of it) time to just be me and not worry about other little humans, yep, definately!
Just do what suits you DS was probably about the same age as your DD when he first spent the night away from us, and has had a few sleepovers since with my parents. 2 nights is too long though!
I still haven't. DD turned 2 in March. She's been looked after of an evening, but we've always come home. I'm not comfortable with it at this point in both our lives.
At what age did you leave your child with.....
) said to them "oooh no, not yet, bit too little for that and besides I'd miss her too much.... there will be plenty of time for that later down the track". DD has never even spent an entire night away from us yet..... hours yes, but not a night let alone a weekend. I think she's too little. She hasn't even been left overnight with my Mum yet.
Besides if they want to see her, they can do it while enjoying our company aswell!
Reply With QuoteIt is a lovely way for them to bond and enjoy some quality time together.
Both the kids and the grandparents.
He would have been still breastfeeding and co sleeping at that stage, I must have sent EBM along too, I can’t remember it very well. He did have a well established relationship with my Mum though, he spent a day with her a week at that stage. After he had weaned (at 14 months) he then had sleepovers at PIL too. My DD has only just had her first sleep over (at my parents) now that she is 2 1/2. I didn’t know why she didn’t have one earlier (she weaned at 22 months), I think we’ve all just been too busy and it’s been too hard to organise.
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