When my 14 month old DD gets frustrated/angry she will hit me, or objects or herself.
If i leave the lap-top open, she will have a look and maybe push buttons. If i come near her, (when she realises that i am there) she will start bashing at it. I then take it away because i don't want it broken.
When she hits herself, she will bang at her head with her open hand.
She has not been hit, and hasn't seen other people being hit, but i'm not sure how to handle it.
If she is hitting me, i either put her down on the floor (if it is safe) or put my arm up and say 'no hitting' and try to calm her down.
Sometimes she will then hit herself, and then i hold her hand, 'no hitting bub, it will hurt'.
It's hard to explain in words, i am not restraining her (cos that would make her more frustrated) but am trying to stop the hitting, and calm her down.
I am probably not going to be much help but I remember DD1 going through a stage where she would hit things or herself when she was about that age. I had only ever smacked her hand once (because she was about to touch something hot and it was a quick reflex to smack her hand away, felt horrible for it). It did not last long though. We did what you have tried and even made out that she was hurting the objects she was hitting, in the end we started ignoring her because we noticed that she was watching us when she was doing it and waiting for a reaction.
DS still does this sometimes (hitting himself) when he's frustrated, and also if he hurts himself. Cant' reason with him about it.
I think trying to help her calm herself is about all you can do. I would also remove the things (or people ) DS was hitting, same if he decided to throw things. Nowadays if he doesn't treat things right he loses them.
Pie's never been hit but will lash out when she's frustrated - she bashes anything within hitting distance. We tell her 'gentle' and she understands what it means - usually she will hit, be told 'gentle' and then she will immediately go all gooey eyed, coo at the person she has hit & cuddle them.
I'm sorry, I'm yet another that is joining in... MJ started to do this at a similar age and still hits her head with open palms when she is really frustrated or upset. It's horrid to watch
When she gets like that, I go straight over and cuddle her, as she is getting more and more worked up and if left continues to escalate if that makes sense.
It's odd as it's not a learnt behavior it must be something innate, but I don't understand why!
Can you teach her to clap her hands instead? This could become her sign to let you know that she is frustrated or angry.
I like the idea of teaching deep breaths too. All you can do is model calmness and give her a safe space to calm down in. Have you tried acknowledging her feelings verbally? DS is older than your DD, but he usually reacts quite well to having his feelings validated verbally and he is now, at the age of just over 2 verbally identifying the basic feelings (happy, sad, angry, upset) in himself and others.
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Cant' reason with him about it.
) DS was hitting, same if he decided to throw things. Nowadays if he doesn't treat things right he loses them.
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