I'm just having one of those days were I'm lying here after a crappy day looking at my little ds and thinking how come you had to be stamped with this?
I hate ADHD!
I hate how it has Eaten my son
I hate how the only way to manage him is to drug him
I miss the sweet innocent happy fun going gentle fragile little boy I once had..
I live everyday knowing I have failed cause I have to medicate my son to be able to breath, that I could cause him long time health issues in the future..
It sucks
My son has done such a 360 that I feel I don't know him anymore!
When his medicated he is so quiet, do placid, more than normal, I don't know if he even smiles!!
Is he happy?
Will he resent me later?
Aaarrrgghhh I just want him happy!!
I want him to not have to tale all this crap, but not be running out into traffic, scaling fences and poles, screeching out sounds and jumping over all the furniture, attacking people cause they have invaded his space, without him attacking me cause I can't answer his questions and more but honestly I'm so emotionally drained I can't..
So ADHD (and whatever else(still going through diagnosis))
I hate you!!


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