DH away for mearly two months - does it get easier?

[LuluHB]

Well, as the title says my DH has just gone away for work for a minimum of 7 weeks. We're rarely ever apart - he even works from home normally - and I'm missing him terribly, but worse than that is that the girls (3 and 4) are just so sad. My 4 year old cried herself to sleep last night and they both wander around looking a bit lost. We will be able to skype daily but its just not the same.

So, for those of you whose partners work away for extended periods, does it get easier as time goes by? What can I do to make it easier for the girls?

[AnyDream]

I've had my DH away for several long stints, and it does and it doesn't get easier.

It does in the sense that after the initial adjustment period, you'll find your new rhythm and learn what corners you can happily cut, you get into a different routine. Each week you can tick another week off. One of the things that i found really helped was doing things we didn't ordinarily do (ie extra effort into outings on the weekend) and also creating a few little rituals of our own (girl time). Whether it be pizza and a movie together to give yourself a break, or going out for tea on friday nights (we always have chinese soup out when my DH is away), it's something to look forward to every week. It also helps to make more social connections, invite your friends over more often, visit your extended family, etc. And if you don't have those networks, having DH away will be a blessing in disguise because it can prompt you to get out there and start meeting more people.

[misty]

I am whinging and moaning because my DH is dissapearing for 3 weeks. I would have a heartattck if it was for 7weeks! :eek:

I try an make an extra effort to get out of the house and keep myself and the kids busy doing things when DH is away. The kids do miss him terribly and we are lucky if we can talk to him even a couple of times while he is gone (army reserves). But I find that they get used to it more and it gets eaier the longer he is gone (they become used to mum being the only one around). Having a routine of some sort helps too. dinner and bedtimes are our struggle time - because DH generally does those with them. So I try to have them worn out by that time of day, so they are too tired to carry on and whinge for daddy too much.

[teresa]

i am on the last few daysof my DH being away for 3 months and its what u make of it. if you think it will be hard it will be. as long as you have a great support network around you then its a little easier. if you dont then its a good excuse to get out there and meet new people and create a good support network. good luck i hope it goes quickly for u

[~Kim~]

My DH works away permanently. We only see him randomly or every 6 weeks. It does get easier.
I agree with teresa. It's what you make it. I had no support network but it pushed me out of my box, and have had to meet people to keep sane.
But TBH I find it easier when there's just the three of us. We have a neat little routine and everyone knows their role. Because DH just slots in at random intervals he doesn't know his spot anymore. But I'm sure with only 7 weeks that won't be a prob.
We definitely do more things away from home when he isn't here, as I don't have to worry about anyone else's plans rather than keeping us occupied (cos it's normal for us) but I do think it's necessary.
We have lots of photos up and the kids often make 'gifts' for daddy. I'm also happy to chat about him when they need to....what he's doing, what they would like to tell him about next time they speak to him, what we're going to do when he is here etc.

[Kaydee]

Dh travels a lot for work, he just recently started a new position which means more travel, further away. We are used to it as our relationship started as a long distance one and we also have times where I travel to Australia for a couple of months without him.
Every family is different but I find that not making a big deal out of DH being away is the best way to help DS not be upset. We have a world map on his wall and everytime DH leaves we tell him where he is going on his map. But I just try to keep busy and try not to think about it too much. Being away from each other can actually be incredibly good for your relationship. You appreciate them so much more and realise even more how much they mean to you.