IVF #1 failed and I'm still sick from it ... and now I'm turning 40 !

[luminescent]

I am still in recovery from an autoimmune condition. I got really sick all of a sudden 1 and 1/2 years ago, and it turned out to be my body reacting to gluten. They say it's taken this long to start to feel better, because I've been eating gluten all my life. Besides being sick, this condition affects fertility - so, yeah, no surprise that I haven't been able to get pregnant. Finally, in July - as soon as I started to feel better - I went through an IVF cycle.

And it was so rough. I guess I'm not well enough yet. Shooting myself up with hormones for 30 days really messed me up. I was so sick from the last two weeks of progesterone, then getting my period afterwards was horrible with terrible cramps, and then I just got really weak and sick. It would have been worth it, if I had gotten pregnant, but of course I didn't.

I'm turning 40 in a week, and I feel so depressed. Life looked so good 3 years ago - newly married to a great guy, thinking we would get pregnant, working in a new career. Now, I haven't worked for 1 and 1/2 years, and I might just be too old to get pregnant. I don't know how I can take going through multiple IVF cycles ... and there's no guarantee it'll work.

This is the worst birthday of my life!

Trying to be positive: I'm working with an acupuncturist, and she says that it just takes time. She thinks I should try another cycle in a few months, when my body is stronger. (She didn't think I was strong enough this last time anyway.)

[Nai]

Welcome to BB - you will find a lot of support and inspiring stories on here. I hope your acupuncture helps strengthen your body for your next cycle.

[JBM]

hi.
i am 39 and pregnant thru IVF. i did a full cycle 3 years ago, got 11 eggs and then 6 BFN's . it was so hard but this time i was less stressed. i gave up bread about 6 months before cycle just cause i was sick of it, don't know for sure if i am allergic though.
i had acu was less stressed and my acu lady said i was best she'd ever seen me ( stress wise). i do believe all these things heped an i got a BFP 1st time for 2nd full ccle IVF/ ICSI fresh transfer.
so don't give up.
sending you some good luck and best wishes. x o

IVF is hard i know .

x o

[blackduckies]

Wishing you the very best of luck..my best advice try to keep your chin up, do the best for your body in between cycles and when you are in a cycle get in here and talk to the other girls it will keep you focussed even on the bad days..there is an older girls group with lots of older mums and mums to be, that might help??? lots have been through and are currently in IVF...
Finally I have a 1 year old and i am 44years old....so its possible...chin up, hugs and best wishes

[luminescent]

I really appreciate these words of encouragement - thank-you so much! I feel so alone with this sometimes. I always imagined getting pregnant poetically (man, woman, the flush of romantic love), and it's hard to know that I can't expect that when so many can (even those who aren't ready or willing to take care of a child). It's a relief to know that there are so many other women out there who experience the frustration and pain of infertility too. And it's especially nice to know other women my age ARE getting pregnant. I hope that the universe can give me that. That would be the best 40th birthday present ever!

[jacklicky]

Im with you too lumnescent. Im turning 40 in October. We have been trying for our 2nd since Sept 2009 and found out DH has zero sperm count....told we were an FS's dream couple.....no real issues except DH'd blockage...so we should be really positive.....well two full stim cycles and a total of six transfers (2 fresh 4 frozen) I have had one MC and 2 chemicals.....The dream of a baby just seems so far away.

I am trying to eat well and be healthy but Im just so depressed by the whole situation it leads me to sabotage myself....then I feel worse and its a cycle I am having trouble breaking.

I am trying to tell myself that nothing is really going to change just because a date comes and goes.....and my FS is still confident its just a matter of time...I just wish I could believe him.

Goodluck with getting your health back on track and your future cycle....

[JBM]

just adding our FS said that we would get preg very easy. we had one fresh and 5 frozen all with BFN before we did the next cycle and finally got the BFP. after the first full stim and all the BFN's i wanted to give up !. but the FS said i wasn't giving it a chance. it took me 2 years after last BFN before i could do it again emotionally.

wishing you best of luck

you too jacklicky

[Aussiegirl777]

Just wanted to wish you all the best. I hope that acupuncture is a help to you, my Sister used it to help her when she was having IVF and she believes it really made a difference. I hope things work out for you.