When asked not to bring a gift to a wedding, what do you do.

[Bella29]

So we have a wedding coming up in 3 weeks time and they have stated on their invite not to bring a gift other than our presence. We went to a wedding earlier this year where they did the same thing, so we didn't take a gift and lots of other people did so we felt cheap. Granted at the last wedding it was on an island where we had to stay over night and pay for transport over and it cost quite a bit, so I didn't feel as bad. This time I am a bit unsure as to what to do.

So what you you girls reckon? This is from a couple who came to our wedding, or the bride did, and although I can't off the top of my head remember what she bought I am sure that she did. So to buy or not to buy???

[Bella29]

I should also say they are both in very high paying jobs and not at all in need of stuff I don't think. We are also quite financially secure to tho so it isn't about not affording something at all either. They also have chosen to marry a long way from home so maybe they don't want to lug it all back???

[LionsandBears]

I can't turn up to dinner at someone's house without bringing a bottle of wine or something. I can't go to a wedding and not take a gift of some sort.

Maybe something small, a voucher or a donation to a cause in their name.

Definately a card.

[alish]

i personally wouldnt take one

we did it for our wedding - thank goodness noone got us anything.. everyone travelled to ours though so that was enough for us!

[Miss.September]

I'd buy a nice wedding album. They'll probably get their professional photos done in an album, but to have a nice one for all the guests photos would be handy. Someone did that for us, and we really appreciated it.

[LaDolceVita]

I'd also have to get them something. I'd get them a card with a voucher or something of the like that they don't have to make space to bring back with them..

A couples massage or a hotel/wotif voucher so they can have a night away throughout the year, a voucher to their favourite restaurant etc - Something like that maybe?

[wysiwyg]

Love the new Avvy!

I always follow the wishes that are stated. Personally I dislike it when I say bring no gifts and people do, I wouldn't say no gifts if I wanted gifts, and hate receiving stuff I don't want (environmentally I see it as a big waste) - ok sometimes I get stuff I do want but in general I want people to respect my wishes if have said no gifts. I have been to things where people said no gifts and I haven't and lots of people have, I personally don't feel bad because I am respecting their wishes.

[Beautiful Disaster]

We asked people not to get us gifts but you pay for thier own lunch at our wedding and we still ended up with $800 which was a shock but very nice. Maybe give a little cash gift or a voucher for their fav store if you feel better about getting somehting.

[Nai]

I would do a donation to charity in their name and put it in with thier card.

[Bella29]

Glad you like the Avi Mylitta made it for me.

Def be getting them a card. I like the idea or a donation thanks girls I do want to respect their wishes too. I also don't want to just get something just because I felt pressured by the fact that quite a few people at the last wedding got that couple things.

[Mad Scientist]

I'd do the donation too or a voucher. We asked for no gifts or a contribution to our honeymoon but people still gave us gifts. I would have preferred they got us nothing though, as some gifts were quite bizarre like a wedding guest book (which we opened after the wedding??). I'm sure they meant it when they said no gifts. Good luck with whatever you decide and enjoy the wedding!

[tellytubby]

We asked for no gifts/money at our wedding. Those who decided to gift us, we respectfully returned it via post (mainly cash we received). We were serious when we stated no gifts.

My opinion, don't say it if it's not honest.
I wouldn't give anything, but maybe (only if you want) a card to congratulate them

[Bern]

I like the idea of a donation

[JLeigh29]

Ditto for the donation idea if you feel you must do something. I don't think they'd have written it if they didn't mean it, and you don't want to offend them by going against their wishes. A donation in their name is a fantastic idea though.

[krysalyss]

I agree that a donation seems like a great compromise if you feel you really need to get them a gift.

[Traveller]

If they have asked no gift then I would respect that, but a donation in their name will likely go down well in lieu of a gift. I asked for no gifts for my 30th birthday and was honestly very sad that so many of my friends (well intentioned as they were) did not respect my wishes.

[MummaBee]

I personally would not buy them anything if thats what they want and just get a card because its something they can look back on. best of luck

[MamaPan]

I like the idea of a donation or something i did for a friend was take a polaroid camera and an album - took heaps of action shots and casual shots etc of the wedding and put it all together then and there. they took it away with them so they would be able to look on the plane to their honeymoon etc. they loved this and i remember just wanting to relive it all the next few weeks too when i got married.