Just starting out

[Veronica24]

Hi.

I am new to this forum.
My husband and are starting our first IVF cycle in a few weeks.
I have PCOS and my husband has low sperm count.
We started trying for a baby when we got married, which was a year ago. We were then told, after countless blood tests and sperm samples, months on Clomid, specialist appiontments and the like, that our chances of natural conception were no more than 5%.
I don't really know how to explain how I feel or what's going through my mind.
Other than to say I'm grieving. I am so very sad.
I have told one of my two best friends. But I don't talk about it with her. I don't want to hear "stay positive" or "there's always adoption". I wish people could sit with my pain, and rather than think about how uncomfortable it makes them, they could take a moment to imagine where my husband and I are standing.
My husband is a beautiful man. We talk a lot and very honestly about the ivf but I still can't figure out where he's at. I think he's too busy being my strength at the moment.
...I'm scared, anxious, terrified of the ivf journey but at the same time I cannot appreciate enough this amazing opportunity for a chance at conceiving our own child. It is truly breathtaking what modern science can potentially do.
I'm not really asking any questions in this post, just wanting to hear from others who know what I'm talking about and may have experienced or currently are experiencing ivf.

Veronica

[CQuin]

Hi Veronica, My DH and I are about to undertake our first IVF too. Ours is due to a failed Vasectomy Reversal. It was heartbreaking and devestating to find out we would not be conceiving the 'natural' way. I have since come to terms with it. Some days i think how sad it is that i will never experience that surprised missed period and finding out i am pregnant, or the fact that every child we have will have to be 'planned'. But then i am also thankful (like you) that modern technology is available. My DH's parents adopted DH and his brother (as there were no alternatives back then) before conceiving on there own. I think how lucky it is that we are given more options. It is heartbreaking now but there will be a time where you come to accept it and work with the opportunities you have. I try to think as positive (even though i am a pessimist!) as i can. I even joked to DH that we will never have to worry about condoms, the pill etc once we have finished our family! (Don't take that the wrong way if you are in an emotional state when you read this. I try to keep things light and find any small positive i can!)

[Keta]

Hi Veronica. I too am in the early stages of this infertility journey. We are due to start 'ovulation induction' through FSH injections after trying for naturally for about 14 months. We haven't been given much hope of it working but fingers crossed, otherwise we will need to think about IVF. I have PCOS which has been suspected for a while but only just confirmed. I completely understand the what you mean. I feel that I have lost something and often feel really sad, there is no other way for me to explain it. I think it is going to be a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Its hard to know if we should tell people and even when they want to help sometimes they just can't. I have found these forums really helpfull. I wish you all the best and hope you get a BFP quickly.

[Lily Dust]

Hi Veronica

Welcome to BellyBelly, sorry that you have found us all in this way but I am glad that you are at least with people who know what its all about!

I'd like to say that Im new to IVF but I am far from that anyway more than happy to answer anything I can about any questions you might come up with. It is a rollercoaster but one that when you do get to the other end of has made you a stronger person imo. Its hard and it may take time but remember that you and your beautiful DH are together on this and keep your eyes focused on the goal. Big Stay strong

[Veronica24]

Thankyou for the replies