how many is too many??

[Bella29]

So I am planning A HBAC and have a great midwife and Doula. I also have a gf who has hb'd herself coming over to be support for my DD who is 2 and possibly take her away if either of us needs that (me or DD I mean). Today I was offered free birth photography from a girl I know who does beautiful work, and who I know gets the kind of birth I want, so I don't think she would be intrusive. But I just wonder how many is too many people present??

I really believe in intuitive birth and I think that women shouldn't feel watched or judged whilst birthing. Or really feel worried about other peoples needs as I did in my last birth. I am also conscious of the words of some of the wise out there like Michel Odent and Gloria Lemay who believe that lots of watching and lots of people really interrupts the birth process. So whilst I want to have this girl there I wonder if it is too many??

What do those of you who have had VBAC's think?

I am not a shy person, but I am instinctively private. I will be putting up sheets around my birth space to make it private for myself, so I am not conscious of watching gazes. In my heart I would be happy to have this girl at my birth, I am just not sure if it is wise.

Thoughts ladies??

[Cricket]

Can you sit down and talk with the photographer? Let her know your concerns? I'm guessing she will be pretty sensitive to the needs of a birthing mother, if she's experienced in birth photography.

Also, who will actually be in the room with you? I'm guessing your friend who is caring for your DD will be in and out occasionally, not there all the time, your midwife will pop in to check you, and your doula will be with you most of the time. Will your DH be present? The room might not be quite as crowded as you think. Especially if you ask for privacy. You can always ask, at the time, for any unnecessary people to clear out for a while!
The photographer can pop in for a few shots in early labour, when you likely won't mind, and maybe stay out of the way when you are getting into more intense contractions, and then be quietly in the background taking a few shots when you come to pushing that lovely baby into the world. It's unlikely you'll even notice her there then. And, after baby is born, you can either let her shoot away, or you can ask to have a few minutes to clean up and cover up before she takes some mom and baby, and new family pics.

Perhaps my thoughts are a little random here, but I think you should be able to work it out in such a way that you can preserve some "once-in-a-lifetime" memories, and maintain your feeling of safety and privacy necessary for birth.

All the best for a lovely homebirth!

[candiceshout]

I've been there with all my insecurities while I'm pregnant. Good thing my mom and husband is always by my side telling me to enjoy the experience of being pregnant.

[surprised]

For me, it's me (pretty necessary LOL), DH and medical staff (even if I was home, which I won't be). DS will be with my parents, and no-one is getting a camera anywhere near me in that state!!

But each to their own hun - you do what you are comfortable with. If you're trying to reduce numbers, could the friend just come and take DD away? xoxo

[Bella29]

Thanks for that girls. I really appreciate your input. I thought about it and decided that I would have my friend there but just in a low key way which I think fits with her philosophy anyway. So she will pop in and see me and photograph special moments, but won't camp on the bed and stare at me. I am really getting excited. Only 5 more weeks before I have them all over for a birth planning meeting

xx Bella