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thread: So I'm probably being demoted today for being pg...

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Atop the lookout...
    2,777

    So I'm probably being demoted today for being pg...

    Last Monday I went back to work after a week off in hospital with severe morning sickness. And I told my boss that I am pg. Just gone three months, so figured it was time. A couple of people knew (they figured it out all on their own), but as far as I knew, he didn't know.

    I have only worked there since the start of October. The boss went to say something, then gave me a sideways 'congratulations' (out of forced politeness) first, and then proceeded to tell me that his opinion (which is the only one that counts btw) is that I am "incapable of doing my job". Right okay. It's not like I am a top class full contact martial arts instructor or ... or... I can't think of anything else that I may be "incapable" of doing. I am a functions and events manager at a hotel. He said that "we need to review my position", and "look at putting me back to a casual" (I am a full time employee). He asked me what I thought about that, and I said that I don't agree because I don't see any reason why being pregnant might make me incapable of doing my job, except lifting very heavy tables (which no one should be doing on their own anyway, yet we are all expected to). He said he disagrees, and that we are to have another meeting next Monday (today) about it.

    Last Friday or Saturday night he came to me and said "you were sick last night?" (we had a dinner the night before). I said yeah a bit, but it didn't have any negative impact on the job I did, and I did a good job. He didn't beleive me, and said that we need to review my position, make it Monday. I said that we had already agreed last Monday to have that meeting. He said that he "wanted to make sure that I hadn't forgotten or anything like that, and just that it is quite more pertinent that it happens now." After that 'discussion' I was nearly in tears as I set up for another dinner with another girl (one of the people who figured out that I was pg), and I asked her if I did a good job the night before. She said "yeah!", and I asked if she had told pk (the boss) that I was sick the night before. She said no, but seemed quiet after that. She was the only one I had said to the night before that I felt sick to a couple of times, and she spent most of the night complaining that *she* was about to throw up, and all she could taste was oil, etc, etc.

    I called Fairwork Aust after our meeting last week, and they said if he puts me back to casual it is unfair dismissal (because it disagvantages me), and is discrimination (no, really? ), but then it came up that since I have been there less than six or twelve months (I forget which), that I am basically not covered. WTF? Does that mean I just have to get shafted and like it?

    I start work at 2pm today, doing reception. THere are three things I really want to say to my boss. 1; Did I deeply upset a trainee waitress just because she is the front office manager's friend, and because I asked her to do some work? 2. Did he get told that jb the sick waitress was actually sick that night too. and 3. When I started I remember pk saying that I had to be careful and not stand on toes at work, due to my confidence and ability- I didn't realise at the time that actually meant his toes, since pretty much ALL his employees have more respect for me as a co-worker and manager than respect to him as CEO. Just hope I have the cohunas to say it! As the Man said, what's the worst that's going to happen? Him fire me? He's going to do that anyway!

    Any advice gladly welcomed!

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    brisbane australia
    840

    fair work ombudsman? they seem to do pretty good, I have called one once and the issue was resolved in 2 days!

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2008
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    1,841

    Def say something about the other girls feeling sick and her comment about the smell.

    Have your say and I agree with your DH. The worst he can do is fire you the best, keep you on as a casual.
    Sounds like the sort of boss who will never be happy with anyone who works for him unless they suck up to him.
    Is he worth the peace of mind and your well being?

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Atop the lookout...
    2,777

    Tried them. Can't remember what happened, but it ended in nothing. I might ring them again.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    1,572

    Are you part of the union? They will come to meetings like this, particularly when there is potential discrimination due to pregnancy. Grab a copy of the fair work practices, and arm yourself when you go into your meeting.

    Good luck today hun xx

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    3,734

    best of luck today - sounds like an awful situation
    let us know how you go. Is there an HR manager or similar who can attend with you?
    Take notes in the meeting and it may be worth writing down your main pts also so you dont lose them.
    I would also communiocate in writing and get him to 'accept' anything that is determined so you dont end up in a he said/she said situation.
    personally i wouldnt bring up co workers or personal things - keep the discussion v official and professional. the other struff clouds the issue.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Atop the lookout...
    2,777

    Rivlas, I'm not about to suck up to him, and I have the support of almost all of the other staff. Two of the Chef's have said they would leave if I left! I doubt it, but the token kindness was nice. They keep telling me just to serve it right back to him. I keep building my confidence while he's not around, but as soon as he speaks to me I shrivel into a mouse! Aside from him, the job is great.

    Ryatha, no, I'm not part of the union. I just spoke to the ombudsman again, I took down some notes, so am forearmed. But again, maybe the mouse will come out and I won't say any of it. Thank you for the good luck.

    MummaPan, There is no HR, just him. Even the Chefs won't be there at that time for me to drag one of them with me. Do you think I could take the Man? Re the co-workers, etc, I think as far as he's concerned, it's all tied up together and I need to go.

  8. #8

    Jun 2010
    District Twelve
    8,425

    I would not accept anything today. Just listen to him. Take notes and say you will get back to him.

    Good luck!!

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    1,572

    The union may still help you out even if you aren't part of it, maybe give them a call?

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    3,734

    Hmmm not sure witj taking The Man - I guess it depends on the conversation and the org but I dont think he would serve the purpose you need ie an impartial person (ideally a professional who deals with this)
    Just write it all down, dont go in as though you are ready for a fight... listen and write down what he says and tell him you need to think about it all.
    If it is about you being pg that is one thing, if he has issues with your performance that is another. he needs this documented in any case.
    Best of luck.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    May 2008
    where the V8's roar
    1,855

    I would also get him to make any offer to change your employment terms in writing and include the reasons why. I am thinking that while Fairwork may not be able to do anything surely the police could charge him with discrimination? it would be interesting to find out and see what he says to facing criminal charges?

    This sucks!! sending you BIG cahuna vibes

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Atop the lookout...
    2,777

    N2L; That's an idea. I just spoke to the Man, and he said to make sure that if he says something negative to make sure that I disagree clearly with him, and say along the lines that an arbitrator (sp) will have to sort it out, because we won't be able to agree.

    Ryatha; I'm running out of time to call them, but I'll try to!

    MummaPan; I think I was grasping at straws for someone to take with me. Have decided against taking the Man. It's hard not to go in ready for a fight. I feel like if I tell pk that I will think about it that I am leaning towards his decision, which I am definitely not. We had a talk a while ago, and he brought up my performance (which I thought was good, and I hadn't had any negative feedback from anyone else), but this is all about me being pg.

    We had a dinner last week, for thirty 'high society' locals, very, VERY fussy. EVERY single one of them was happy, and I even got three of them (including their group president) to put in writing how they felt about the service and food (which they did). pk was the ONLY one out of them, and the staff who tended the night that thought it was "sh**". I don't understand it at all. He makes me want to cry sometimes, but I think that would be letting him win in a way.

    Kelebek, When I spoke to the ombudsman just before, they said if I am fired or changed back to a casual it would be unlawful termination, PLUS there's the whole discrimination thing on top of that.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    In a Nice Safe Space
    1,002

    Good luck today. In a meeting such as this you are allowed to take a person in with you, impartially, they are there to take notes and listen to the conversation. (They normally sit aside from the meeting and they don't speak or ask questions etc). I don't think your DH is a suitable person though. Maybe you could ask someone else from work, whom you trust, to come to the meeting with you? I also agree with MamaPan just listen to what he has to say and ask for a follow up meeting to let him know your decision/other points you may need to raise.

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Atop the lookout...
    2,777

    Thanks Aussiegirl. Unfortunately the only person I come close to trusting is one of the Chefs, and they won't be there.

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2008
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    1,841

    Sound like you are ready and make sure you don't turn into a mouse. Make sure you don't show that he is getting to you. you can fall to pieces when you get home.

    Also make it obvious you are taking notes and don't let him intimidate you re the notes. Try and get as much in writing and if he wants to change your conditions make sure you get it in writing. a paper trail will be worth it if you have to take it further. Also if need be get people to write you references re the work you have done for them. It will make him look bad if he says your work is not up to scratch when you have glowing reports form customers.

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Nov 2007
    Off with the fairies.
    4,370

    Best of luck for today.

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jan 2011
    2,075

    Hope it all goes good for you Netix!

    I'm pretty sure from discussions with the HR person at my work, that they have to have a policy for dismissal, in our case its 3 written warnings then you can be. I would look into that, and as far as Fairwork, changing you down to casual after informing him of being pg would HAVE to be unfair dismissal.

    All the Best!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    7,197

    how awful for you hun. I think you have been given heaps of awesome advice. As much as it would be tempting to go in guns blazing I wouldn't give him one INCH to use against you. I would go in, disagree with everything he comes up with, definitely let him know you are taking things further as you see it totally as discrimination even if that is all you say today. Keep it simple, let him talk and dig himself a hole - agree to absolutely nothing until you have sought further legal advice and leave it at that. You don't want him to say you are argumentative and further offend him by talking about the lack of staff respect for him as it really doesn't have anything to do with your situation in him decreasing your hours etc. good luck hun, really tricky but I hope you can show him you won't back down, that he is totally in the wrong and prove him wrong in that you can do your job well, and being pg doesn't change a thing.

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